Posted by:
Anon for this
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Date: May 26, 2016 01:31AM
Over the last month or so, my TBM DH has taken to closing our day with a sweet, fairly generic prayer. (I can't kneel due to orthopedic limitations, so I just settle in bed while he kneels.)
But I'm just not a believer. He says the prayers (I always say I can't think of anything to say) and this dear, sweet, believing man pours out his heart to someone whose existence I very much doubt, gives profound thankfulness for the atoning sacrifice for somebody who may not have existed at all, and asks for blessings upon those we love. It is all I can do to keep from crying. He prays with the simple belief of a child, so sincerely.
I lost all belief decades ago, but it would hurt him terribly to realize the depth of my unbelief. So I tell him that I really appreciate this special time together - that it provides a nice closing of the door on the day.
Our "prayer time" has a special, gentle feeling to it, which is part of the reason I have never objected. But if there is a God, he KNOWS I have gate-crashed the club. I feel pretty rotten about it, but wouldn't DH's feelings for anything.