Posted by:
Darren Steers
(
)
Date: May 26, 2016 01:48PM
Ok, I took the two hour challenge, which apparently can be summarized by:
"Its simple. Just pay close attention to your life & what happens in it within the next 2 hours. You should notice a rare occurrence."
So here is my return and report, I took a little longer than 2 hours, just in case God was busy helping someone find their lost keys, or maybe helping starving children in Africa find some food. Wait he doesn't help starving Africans.....my mistake.
So rare occurrences are as follows (they are numbered because there was 3 of them)
1. There was a online global meeting organised by the large Oil & Gas company I work for. I actually dialed into the stupid meeting to hear what our self-important leaders had to say, and I never do. This was a bloody rare occurrence for me.
What a waste of an hour of my life. More fucking job cuts, more ability to avoid answering questions, plenty of cuts to the workers and only a slight trimming to the middle management. No cuts to the crusty old senior executives of course. Which wasn't much of a surprise.
I am not yet on the hook for losing my job, and I was not added in this meeting. So no punishment for me there.
2. I took my car out for a drive at lunchtime. This was super rare for me, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've done such a thing in the last 2 years since I've been at this office.
God made it rain, and I'd just washed my car - bastard!
So I'm driving along, annoyed at God for making my car dirty, but then I remembered he works in mysterious ways. It wasn't about the dirty car, he was trying to get me to lose control of my 485HP muscle car on the slick, wet roads - he wanted me to crash! Unfortunately for God, even engineers from Dodge can outsmart him. Their implementation of traction control kept me safe and God was powerless.
Note there was no thunder or lightning though, so God was obviously trying to be sneaky and subtle about it all. He can be a sneaky fucker sometimes!
3. The reason I took the car for a drive was because I was going to Starbucks for lunch (rare occurrence in itself, but not the truly rare occurrence here), to meet a stranger from Manchester England, who now lives in New York, who randomly contacted me about a pension I may, or may not, have in the UK, that may, or may not, be frozen, and he has a solution to make it live again, if his first two assumptions were correct.
Keeping up in that run-on sentence?
Anyway, if that wasn't a rare occurrence I don't know what is.
So this random guy is a financial advisor who specializes in this sort of overseas pension dilemma thing. He didn't murder me, or cause any kind of physical or emotional distress to me. He did enjoy our short discussion about how crazy Mormonism is. He even had his own story to tell about an event that occurred when one off the apostles died, which was pretty funny.
Overall the discussion and time spent with the random stranger dude was positive and worth my time.
So now my 2 hours is well and truly up, and I don't have any meaningful evidence that God is angry at me, or has has made any meaningful effort to make Dazzler happy.
I had a good few hours though (apart from the 1 hour I wasted in the pointless and boring meeting). Maybe I wasn't faithless enough, maybe I wasn't evil enough. If only I had tried harder.....
Edit: I forgot rare occurrence 4:
My stupid badge wouldn't let me back into the parking lot when I returned. Luckily the guy behind me knew me and got out of his car and opened the gate for me with his badge. So God was thwarted there by a simple act from a colleague.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2016 08:27PM by Susan I/S.