I just had an e-mail from a family in England whose daughter is on a year's student exchange. The family is non-religious, but the agency placed her with a Mormon family in the U.S. The parents questioned the placement, but the agency told them not to be prejudiced, and that the family would not try to convert her.

Of course the Mormon family encouraged her to live by the house rules (no coffee, no alcohol, no multiple earrings, attend church every Sunday), and she was warmly welcomed by everyone in the family and at church.

Guess what? She has told her parents that she now wants to be baptized.

The parents do not recognize this person any more - her entire personality has changed, and they are at a loss.

Fortunately, her visa expires in a month and she will have to return to the UK to attend univerity.

But - I asked her father - what if she gets a visa extension, and wants to attend BYU? Or even abandon college altogether and go on a mission?

I think organizations that arrange student exchanges should not place students with Mormon families.

They need to report that to the exchange program.

I see this all the time & it makes me sick. Mormons rarely do things without an ulterior motive. I have some neighbors that have become Foster parents with the main goal of teaching kids mormonism. A diabolical and disgusting plan.

Not all Mormons are like this. We had an exchange student stay with us when I was a kid. My parents are TBM's, but they never talked about religion with her and she never came to church with us. Of course, we never really talked about religion at home. It wasn't until after all us kids moved out that TSCC became everything to my parents. Now they can't have a conversation without bringing up "church" crap.

This is the first case I've heard of with the kid being baptized.

The others all went along with the rules but hated the situation and wanted to go home.

I went to high school with a mormon girl whose family were hosting an exchange student. The mormon complained about the girl behind her back. It was mostly about a different cultural background and not following mormon house rules precisely.

I wrote back and forth to a German boy a few years ago who got home from America suffering from mormon-type guilt of many kinds. He'd tried to live the rules and had lost a part of his personality and authenticity. It was a sad case but I think he was recovering steadily and hopefully he's no worse for wear now.

I think the exchange program should not allow mormons to take these students. I've never heard of a case where everyone was happy with the outcome.

"I think the exchange program should not allow mormons to take these students. I've never heard of a case where everyone was happy with the outcome."

That would be nice, but probably not legal.
A friend of ours sponsored an Japanese exchange student last year. She went to the U of Utah. She had 4 other exchange student friends that were with other families. Most students were non- religious except for 1 girl that was Buddhist, she was placed with hardcore mormon family. My friend attends a Lutheran church and always invited his student to church, sometimes she went, sometimes not-no big deal. His family took that girl & some of her friends to see Utah during their stay. Arches, Zions, Bryce, etc. They enjoyed learning about the Japanese culture as much as teaching ours. On major holidays, most of the exchange students came to his house to dinners. (they could have a beer or a glass of wine.) They learned the Transit system & got around SLC & to the U on their own. The Buddhist girl, placed with the LDS family- hated it. They tried to indoctrinate her, make her pray before meals and attend church & meetings. She pretended to know very little English & tried to spend as much time with the other girls. They spoke only Japanese around the LDS family and made up tasks, assignments & obligations to get the girl out of the house. She was supposed to stay for 2 semesters, but threatened to come home & quit school if she had to live with the mormons. My buddy & his wife made arrangements with the powers that be to have her for the remaining semester. That girl would have hated Utah, mormons & America if my friend hadn't stepped in.

if it was shown that most or all mormon families force church rules and participation on the students. Mormons who might be the exception need to be monitored closely.

The damage they do is real and sometimes severe.

I don't think it's likely that they'd put students in an Amish or Menenite home or into a Catholic convent.

I agree about the Amish & Mennonites, but they keep to themselves.
Nobody's suggesting a convent, but you'd have a hard time excluding Catholic families from hosting. Most of here know how devious & controlling mormons can be, but most people don't. Including people placing exchange students. In Utah, I think the Foster care system knows exactly what's going on & actually favor mormon families for placement.

Oh, man, mormonism is such a clever sham! I've never experienced it, but I've read where certain personalities, when they take that first hit of *whatever*, think they've found heaven.

Who here wouldn't like 30 minutes with that girl in order to tell her a few things the host family never got around to mentioning?

The notion that a devote mormon family would not try to convert a kid living with them is soooo stupid! And telling an English kid that he or she can't have tea because ghawd doesn't want you to!

I've been thinking about this thread....

It could well be the solution to an unsolved "mystery" that has been sequestered in the back of my mind since I was in high school.

When I was on Student Body Cabinet, the family of one of my fellow members was hosting an exchange student from Germany---who was MISERABLE in that particular family situation...to the point where she was basically packed and ready to be put on the next plane "back."

I didn't know the host family at all, and I only knew the fellow member (who was older than me, and two classes ahead of me in the graduation queue) because we did serve on the same Student Body Cabinet together...but from what I did know, I couldn't understand what the actual problem might have been. [In the end, the problem was solved by the German exchange student moving to the house of one of the adult program sponsors---who was unmarried and had never had children.]

In any case, and although (because of Cabinet affairs---exchange students came under our jurisdiction) I [gently] inquired, I never got any substantive answers even through, from what I "knew," both my fellow member AND her family were nice, friendly people---without the slightest hint EVER of anything amiss in their family situation.

If they were Mormon, and they were trying to convert the exchange student, that actually would explain EVERYTHING.

I will never know, of course, but for the first time since I was in high school, this is at least a hypothetically workable "answer."

That is truly awful. The agency should be made aware of the situation. Hopefully once the girl gets back to England she will put Mormonism behind her.

To me this is very interesting concept. Our exchange student (in the 60's in Minnesota) had very different rules than my brother and I. He could smoke, drink (it was legal in Spain), and other things my parents would have killed us for doing. My mother said it was unfair to force our values down his throat for 12 months.

My Dad even drove him to mass on Sunday's while we walked the 1/2 block to our Lutheran Church. Us walking was nothing new, Dad driving someone to church was.

Almost all foreign exchange students have much more freedom at home than U.S. students. It is a difficult adjustment for them.

Even though they have more freedom at home, though, when they leave their families for such a long time, they are very emotionally vulnerable.

And we all know how the lds church views vulnerability--it is an opportunity!

"Almost all foreign exchange students have much more freedom at home than U.S. students. It is a difficult adjustment for them."

Not in the mormons case. The girl I wrote about was expected to participate in all mormon activities (that's why she ended up wanting to quit school & go home). When they started the FHE Monday nights, she didn't come home til 8:30. Told her host family that she got confused on TRAX & took the wrong train. She pulled the same thing the next Monday. After that, the Dad drove to the U to pick her up. Only on Monday's though.

That is the point I was making.

Back in their home countries most of them have been taking public transportation and going places on their own or with friends for years.

They expect to be able to hang out in cafes for hours and aren't questioned about everything they do.

Needing rides to get places is a real problem. (Poor or non-existent public transportation in much of U.S.)

What do you mean I can't watch anything but Disney movies?

Curfew? What's that?

I gotcha now. I thought you we agreeing with the other poster that
said her exchange student had very lax rules compared to her & her siblings.

They put up with getting up at 5:00 AM for scripture study and family prayer, family home evening, MIA, hours of meeting on Sunday for about 2 months. Both requested to get moved to non Nazi or non-LDS families. My parents were willing to take one friend in, but he found a lutheran family and the exchange organization had already used that family under similar circumstances so they were comfortable with the change. I am still friends with one them, he says "Mormons are weird, what can you say." He mentioned how he learned very early on how to find non-valiant LDS friends who were not trying to convert him. Dating was difficult because all the mormon parents were afraid of a charming, handsome, worldly Swede dating their daughters.

Just got another e-mail from the girl's dad in UK. His complaints to the agency (FLAG) has resulted in their agreeing to bring his daughter home this weekend.

Interesting and ironic side note: the mother of the host family in New Mexico is an employee of FLAG, and was in line for a promotion in the organization to the post of "compliance officer."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for the update. Damn glad she's going home.

"By joining our FLAGship Program, students become ambassadors of their home country. Students are encouraged to share their own culture and customs with the American host family. It is exactly this type of exchange that fosters global understanding, thereby eliminating stereotypes. The ultimate goal of international student exchange.[sic]"

Sounds good, but then...

"The best advice FLAG can give any host family is this - treat the student as you would your own child. Students are to follow the exact same rules as the rest of the host siblings (same curfews, same chores, etc.). This is the best way to make the student feel part of the family verses treating them 'special' or as a guest. International students dream of being part of an American family and experiencing 100% immersion into the American culture. What better way to do this than including them into the American day-to-day experience. Even if that does mean washing dishes!"


So, um, yeah - make up your mind, FLAG! https://www.flag-intl.org/flagship.html



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/06/2016 07:48PM by Beth.

Good news! I hope Dad has plenty of activities planned for his daughter to consume a lot of time. Keeping her from contacting local LDS groups & attending SM at home should be a priority.

I saw this happen repeatedly here in small town Nevada, even with exchange students who initially were shocked about the lds church and the constant church presence in everyone's lives.

As a parent, I would make it a stipulation of my child's participation that she not be placed with an lds family.

Do I think it is an lds sanctioned policy to encourage lds families to host exchange students for the purpose of converting them?

Absolutely!

Do I think it unconscionable?

Absolutely!

A few years ago, one of my kids participated in a study-abroad program. During the preparatory meetings, we got to meet the people who locally administered the program, as well as other participating families. They were almost ALL Mormons, including the local host families for the foreign students.

The Mormon host families were pretty open about their intentions to expose impressionable foreign teens to Mormon family life and standards. They stopped short of admitting they were actually aiming to proselytize, but it sure sounded like that was the underlying intent. Since the local program leaders were also Mormon, they didn't put a stop to it.

My kid, who went to another country with a group composed mostly of Mormon teens, reported shocking tales of the others going on secret drinking binges, having lots of casual sex with locals, getting high, shoplifting... you name it, it went on. The leaders had no clue and most of the students were never caught.

Mr. Packham said...

"I think organizations that arrange student exchanges should not place students with Mormon families."

I TOTALLY AGREE Richard!

I have extended family that took in two European exchange students at the same time into their 7-member hard-core Mormon family and ended up baptizing them both.

My understanding is that was a TOTAL VIOLATION of Student Exchange Program rules.

You'd have to know this particular family to know that they think they are above the laws of us regular people and that as Mormons those rules did not apply to them...just to the unwashed masses.

I wish now i would have reported them. Can't even imagine the Exchange Student's parents sending their kids away and having them come back Mormons...what a travesty of the system.

Or so it seems to me...

The purpose of a student exchange program is to experience another culture. Being exposed to other beliefs and ideas is part of life, and learning how to deal with those ideas is part of the reason students choose to study abroad. Students are not forced to stay with families, and neither should they be prevented. Travel and cultural exchange has inherent risks. People don't learn from each other if they are banned from even trying.

The exchange student programs have rules for a reason. This is a clear violation of those rules and is unacceptable. This is not about an exchange of cultures; this is about trapping a child in your home and forcing them to be indoctrinated into an extremely controlling belief system.

And if a family traps and attempts to indoctrinate, that is a problem. The gist of this thread seems to be that no Mormon family should ever be allowed to host an exchange student, and I don't think that's right. I have known plenty of Mormon families who had very positive, successful exchanges with no trapping involved.

Even a controlled environment can be a useful experience. Those students have the opportunity to observe a culture first hand. They're not being tortured. Sharing ideas, even crazy ideas, is the point.

A student might try a new food and discover an allergy. He might try a new activity and get injured. Someone might encounter a new religion and be interested in joining. Life is full of danger.

As a former foreign exchange student, I am with Pista on that one.

If not, you have little understanding of the problem of hard nosed mormon pushers..

I would not say that lds families not be allowed to host students, but I do absolutely say that the host family should be warned that ANY attempt to push their religion onto the student will result in that student being immediately removed and no further students would be assigned to them.

That should include the stipulation that no requirement for church attendance or church activity will be permitted.

Some students are strong and able to stand up for themselves.

Others are not; they are vulnerable.

It is wrong to allow them to be placed in that position.

I agree that the program needs more supervision and host families should not be allowed to force kids to participate in religious activities. The rules should be clear to everyone at the outset and should be enforced.Kids should be aware of where to get help and hosts should be vetted. However, to assume that no Mormon family should be allowed to host exchange students is bigoted and unfair.

My high school friend was going to be an exchange student in Australia. Her parents made sure she was going to stay with a Mormon family there. If she wouldn't have been able to stay with a Mormon host family, she would not have been allowed to go. Mormons make a mockery of "exchange." As long as it is one way, they are perfectly fine with it.

My TBM family hosted exchange students in the 80's. I'm not aware they pushed morg stuff on them though. It was a long time ago and they only had them for a few weeks.None of this year long stuff...

It isn't just Mormons who take advantage of the opportunity to proselytize - some Evangelical Christians do the same thing.

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine signed up for a Chinese exchange student and casually mentioned that the liaison in our area was "a believer" and was asking that word be put out in evangelical churches that there was a great opportunity to "share the gospel."

I felt sorry for the Chinese girl - she got assigned to a 70 year old couple who are retired full-time overseas Christian missionaries to Thailand and Russia. They live out in the country about two blocks from a gas station with a little convenience store - yippy! My friend doesn't even have any grandkids within 300 miles.

It was very unfair of my friend to volunteer to do this - especially since her motive was to be "a witness of Christ" rather than give this girl an opportunity to experience American life. I hope the girl enjoyed watching the horses on the adjoining property and was into chickens and maintaining a large country garden.