Date: June 07, 2016 06:16PM
For a long time, I thought both my parents were supportive of my doing anything I wanted with my life. My father seemed to support the idea that I could go to college and follow any career path; so did my mother. But that was while I was an obedient teenage girl who kept insisting she was going to become a housewife and mother.
When I started thinking like a feminist, I suddenly discovered my mother's distrust of "feminazis" and learned that she had vocally opposed the Equal Rights Amendment. My father talked like he was supportive, but when I went out into the world to make my own life, he kept telling me that he didn't "approve of" my actions. To this day, he will from time to time say he "disapproves" of this or that, as if he has authority over a grown woman with a life of her own. I finally realized that deep down, he believes in the fantasy that a man has authority over a woman at any age, and has a right to disapprove of and judge her decisions -- he's just too passive and chicken to act on his beliefs in a dramatic fashion. As for my mother, she criticizes Mormon men for bossing her around and criticized BYU for being a marriage factory, but she was utterly appalled when I decided to live with a non-Mormon man and NOT get married to a Mormon one or have babies.
My parents also turned out to be racist. It was hard for me to tell they were when I was younger because their social circle was the local ward and almost everyone there was white. But when New Orleans was devastated, my mother called the people down there "lazy", code for "black and inferior." My father has also shown a tendency to mention the race of someone he hates or disagrees with at work IF they are black. He also hates Obama. When I tried to nail down why, he couldn't give me answers. It was just a "feeling."
Makes me wonder what he would have "felt" if I'd ever dated a black man.