I've come to the realization that I have to make a decision very, very soon. I can't stay in this place of self-doubt much longer. As I was putting my little girl to bed just now, she said, "Mommy, are we Latter-day saints?" When I told her no, she informed me that her primary teacher was talking today about how wonderful it is to be LDS. It suddenly hit me that I need to make a decision very soon for her sake. My daughter is my life and I don't want her to have to feel hurt over my indecision. I don't want to start taking her to church regularly and then pull her out after I finally come to a conclusion, if that conclusion is negative. So it looks like I'm going to be up late this week doing a lot of reading. No missionary meetings this week--I've heard enough of them for now. I picked up Fawn Brodie's book from a local bookstore this afternoon, so hopefully that will help me to understand the real Joseph Smith.

You've been bombarded by a lot of information. It's probably a good idea to just sit quietly and read from this point, without people pulling you every which way.

That is a good book. I think that church stands on the character of it's founder. Was he moral, honest, reliable as a "man of God" or was he a sleazy con man?

Did "God" impel him to start the church or was it a way to get money from his followers and lots and lots of free sex from many, many women??

Powerful! Thank you for sharing your story...

I began investigating the church and myself all the "fuzzies" were present. Wasn't aware of Temple rituals,tribes, etc. Love-bombing was going on big time. I began doing my own research and i can't make your decision and don't even want to, but I went to the local bookstore and read the book "Mormonism for dummies" I began questioning from that and then joined this board. Didn't take me long to change my mind b/c it just didn't seem as if it was the correct decision to be making but of course it's up to you. You'll realize what you wish to do. Good luck to yourself, as well as your daughter.

I think you have picked an excellent book. I read Brodie's book early in my exit process. I found her coverage of JS to be fair and balanced. However, Mormons don't like fair and balanced ...if it doesn't gush and sing the praises of Horney Joe then they label it as 'anti-mormon'. They can't have an intellectual conversation about the merits of the history....they just label, discredit, attack and dismiss.

I spent 36 years in the Mormon cult and had never been exposed to Joe's polygamy, sexual exploits, financial frauds, money digging, and occult practices until I read "No Man Knows My History". I was shocked at who I had previously called a prophet.....after reading that book I could no longer believe in the Book of Mormon or its author.

I just finished that book! A most excellent read! Im gonna take it to work tomorrow and give it to a friend to read! I thought it was more than FAIR to tscc! It sure opened my eyes!

Just be true to yourself and let the chips fall where they may!

Thanks everyone. Btw, what do some of the abbreviations commonly used here mean? TSCC? TBM? And others? I figured out that BoM is Book of Mormon and SLC is Salt Lake City.

TSCC = the so-called church

TBM = true blue Mormon, true-believing mormon

There used to be a list of acronyms somewhere on this website. Someone will have it!

At the very top of the first page is a link called Glossary and Abbreviations. Most abbreviations can be found there.

http://exmormon.org/bbabrev.html

here is the link to it if you cant find it

I hope you will find peace LadyofShallot. One of the main reasons we left was to protect our children and give them every opportunity to live free from abuse and coercion. I left the first time many years ago after our baby died and another of our children lost his eye.We were told if we had more faith they would be healed. After a few years away, I went back was rebaptized but just couldn't reintegrate. The first time I left b/c I was so depressed so I didn't base the decision on the false doctrine.

tawanda, i'm so sorry to hear of your baby ... I had no idea. I hope you are all well now. if you don't mind me asking how old is your child?? t/c of you.

Please don't forget to look at these sites for additional reference.

www.mormonthink.com

www.mormonhandbook.com

www.howcultswork.com

Just ask if you have questions or need references.

Even if everything possible goes "well" with your kids as you raise them in TSCC and they grow up Mormon, and they become adult "successes" like my kids, they and possibly all rising generations of your family will still be lifetime slaves of a greedy and all-controlling, soul-sucking cult.

Is that a big win for you? After 40 years in TSCC, now that I know the truth about Moism I'm heartsick about my Mo kids and grands.

Well, how do you want to bring her up, as a full human being equal to men with full choice of how to live her life, or excluded from power, subservient to a husband, a baby machine?

It's good to study up and read everything you can, and also good to step away some as well. Good luck with your decision.

Sending light and power in your direction. Your child is lucky to have such a thoughtful mother.

Anagrammy

I have no doubt that you will make the best decision for yourself and your family.

Just have to comment on your name - you picked one of my favorite poems!

I think researching the facsimiles in the Pearl of Great Price provide the most damning evidence against Joseph and his falsehoods. You could read the book "By His Own Hand". After I studied egyptology, not long just learned about the gods and embalming customs and rituals, it all came to light real fast.

Good luck to you, I am sending warm thoughts your way.

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” - The Buddha

I've mentioned that I worked for the Church, but I'm not sure if I've mentioned this story much.

When the Facilities Manager got a new job working outside of the Church, one of the women in the office decided to apply for the position. She'd been working for them for quite some time, and had been given more responsibilities as time had gone by, and so she felt that she had a lot to offer, so she applied.

They tried to discourage her from applying, but she knew that there were a few female Facilities Managers in the Church, so thought she'd go for it anyway, in spite of their negativity.

They let her do the interview, but their attitude right from the start was that she was wasting their time. It was almost like, "Okay boys, let's get this over with." You could see the smirks on their faces.

They basically patted her on the head and said, "There, there, little lady. You need to keep cleaning the buildings. You have to have the Priesthood in order to do this job."

That moment really opened my eyes a lot to the fact that the LDS Church is really a good old boys club. I was pretty angry, but proud of her for going for it anyway.

I don't think I really understand how much of a second-class citizen I was as a woman in the Church until that moment, when I witnessed it in action for myself.

This post is what makes us scream, "Run!" I've seen stories like these too many times.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,183821