Tis the season: hundreds, thousands of 18 year old young men receiving their mission calls, farewells, their first trip to the endowment ceremony in the temple.
I've loved these boys for many years, they're the same age as my son. They've spent lots of happy moments being free from judgement in our home.
But we aren't members, so I'm sure we'll lose touch with a lot of them.
I'm hopeful their eyes are opened while "serving" throughout the world!
In the meantime, it's depressing seeing them March off to the temple, so excited. Ugh!

You never know how many of them will see right through the bullshit in the temple, or start to balk at the control of the missionary experience.

So true. Several years ago a woman's picture popped up in my Facebook feed as "someone you may know." And I did. She is someone who has a high profile name in mormon circles, a writer often featured in Meridian or LDS living. She writes a lot about Blacks in the early church. She and her husband are professors at BYU. Won't give too much away, but they share a last name with BY. They are both as loony as it comes. But he was in our stake presidency and she was very musical. I think she's in Gladys Knight's choir. They both just made my skin crawl.

But they lived a few houses away from us and had a kid the same age as mine when he was in high school. Before the end of high school I'd gotten my kid out of the church and of course, hers went on a mission and you couldn't tell them that he wasn't a future GA. The father would sit outside on his steps at night, in his suit, reading his scriptures while he watched the kids play in the street. God, they were loony tunes.

So when I saw her picture and realized who it was I thought, "I wonder whatever happened to the good son." I clicked on her friends' list, googled their last name and all her kids came up. I literally, I mean literally was rolling on the floor laughing. This kid's profile pic was of him with a very full beard, at the Atheist rally in D.C., holding a sign that says "Look Ma, I'm an Atheist." True story!

When I got looking at his profile more, I was very impressed. He seems to be a very good writer and philosopher. And giving some kudos to his parents, they seem to be closely connected to their kids. But the parents still look as goofy as ever. So yeah, some of those kids leaving right out of high school will be here or at an Atheist convention in the next decade. Be glad your son got to circumvent the the long road there and take the quick one.

Would you be allowed to have each of their e-mail addresses and write a newsletter about home? I'm sure it isn't recommended by LDs,Inc. However, on my mission, nobody was forbidden to write letters to missionaries. They would certainly appreciate letters from home from you even if it was a generic newsletter once a week or even just once a month. I don't think that could cause a fuss. You might keep a few of them from going over the edge.

Word of caution: If you send letters to missionaries through the mission home instead of directly to them individually the letters might get intercepted and read by the mission president.

I have empathy for you as I have, yet again, another grandchild hitting the dust. A suggestion is to give your son's friends the message, along with your phone number and address, that should they need someone safe to talk to about any issues that come up, that you are there for them.

Mormon missions for young people are abusive in my book as I say like a broken record. But, all I can do, once the decision is made to hop on that plane, is to say I am available night or day.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/16/2016 02:02AM by presleynfactsrock.

Hey, Cahomegrown--

If those kids are anything like I was when I was their age, they will always remember the "happy moments being free from judgement" you gave them.

I was an angry skeptic at that age for a number of different reasons. But one significant thing that made me more comfortable in moving away from Mormonism after I left home, was being welcomed into the families of non-Mormons, and having the opportunity to compare the generosity of their spirit with that of Mormons. Theirs was real and universal, while that of Mormons was contrived and conditional.

Keep up the good work!

It seems so sad to me I watched my girls lds teens friends roll away like sticky tape trying to catch flies somewhere else like fly paper traps in old houses near dairies

They went someplace else and my kids were left fortunately to find new fast friends, except peeling off teen friends like a new kotex always maxi pad adhesive strip without too much grip protective strip
Simply peeled off and tossed in the trash.

ND I THOUGHT teen aged sleep over friendships were made to last

Pissing contest...

My daughter that just turned 19 has filled out her mission papers...sigh

She lives with her mother in Alberta, and I get to see her for 2 weeks in a few days then I don't know when again. (I live far away from Alberta)

Her mother is an ultra tbm narcissist....

Where is she heading off to, 6 iron? At least you will get a good long visit with her before she goes. And if her mom is a narcissist, you will be a refreshing change for her. :)

Ugh. I just had another nephew go. My brother asked for letters of support for him to take with him. I wrote a nice letter to tell him how much I love him and admire him, but left out any part about the church. I really wanted to say, "don't go!"

I watched all my son's friends go three years ago, and then was there when they all came back. Several (most) are already married. I loved all those boys so much - I missed them terribly.

I did stay in touch thru e-mail with my son's very best friend. I would tell him all the little mundane details of what was happening at home; so-and-so didn't put up their Christmas lights this year, the neighbor's little girl just lost her first tooth, etc. Mostly, I kept him up-to-date on the local sports teams. Full game breakdowns, how big the crowd was, what the weather at the game was like - just like we had discussed sports when he was home. He has told me many times since he has been home how much he enjoyed just hearing about the normal things.

I also made sure to tell him that even when someone rejected him (which happened all the time) that that did not mean that he couldn't still be the hands of God (I am Catholic). We had had many good conversations about faith before he left, and I reminded him that a true missionary is one that serves his fellow man with love and a good heart, regardless of their acceptance or denial of faith; and that THAT is what God expects of a good Christian. I know how much pressure they are under to "get their numbers up" and how easy it is to get discouraged. I guess I was trying to find a back way to make him feel like he could make a difference for the better, whether he got any converts or not, using language and references that were part of his everyday experience.

He told me that that helped him, too.

It's interesting that you are going through that. I thought I would go through that with my youngest son because the kids he grew up with were all mormon boys with active parents.

As they neared the age of mission calls my son had let them all know way early that he had absolutely no intention of even considering a mission so as each of them turned 19 and didn't go I started asking my son and he said that each one of them had talked to him and he had told them to follow their hearts. Not one of my son's circle of friends who were good little mormon boys went on missions. I am so proud of my son!!!

By the way they are all 25 years old now and one is in medical school living with his long time girlfriend who is also in med school. Very successful and happy and not members of the church. One is selling cars very successfully and visits my son regularly and they drink soda and smoke weed and play video games. Anyway, all are very happy and none have become involved in the church. It is a great success story I guess.

I'll be hearing about this from my oldest nephew in a couple of years. He often says that the TBM's are judgemental etc...although at school he's told me of several morg youth who seem to be rebelling against the morg and their parents.