Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:11PM

Hi everyone,

I am a nevermo. My first husband was also a nevermo, but grew up in Utah. I met him after he moved to California, where I grew up. We moved back to Utah during the marriage, and I was miserable. I literally thought I would go crazy or kill myself if we had to stay. During the divorce, he converted to Mormonism. This was really weird, because he was pretty hateful toward them the whole time we were married. I have a Master's in Social Work, and held a License in Clinical Social Work for about 10 years. In that time, I learned a lot about cults, and hyper-religiosity. I have been a lurker here for a long time, and want to come out of hiding so...hello!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:12PM

Hello!
Your experience with social work probably gives you insights that others would value here. Nice to have you. Don't be shy about speaking up!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:14PM

Welcome, JenMikell.

We're really happy to have you here!!!

:) :) :)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:17PM

Well Hello there! Master's in social work. License in Clinical Social Work. And a neverMo to boot! What a winning combo.

Please chime in on, well, everything.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: hausfrau ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:21PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:25PM

Welcome, but please don't diagnose me as I much prefer to live in infamy... I mean, in ignorance!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:30PM

No worries, elderdog!

The most I would do is speak up if I saw something that made me think the person would benefit from professional services, and make suggestions as to what steps to take next. This board has helped me so much, and I look forward to contributing!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: edzachery ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:25PM

Welcome, JenMikell! Please do contribute often to the board with your perspective re: cults and hyper-religiosity. I can't wait to read your future posts! Thanks for being here. You will be accepted and valued here. All the best, -ed

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: getbusylivin ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 04:31PM

It's good that you're a nevermo, but to be able to have enhanced insight you'll want to duplicate the "Mormon experience" as much as possible. Fortunately, I'm here to help.

Just because you're not a Mormon doesn't mean you can't know what it feels like to tithe--to give up 10% of your earnings to the church. Instead, just send that 10% to me, getbusylivin. You'll get up to speed on the whole lighter-wallet feeling in no time!

Please send your 10% faux-tithe to:

getbusylivin
c/o Celestial Kingdom Storage Units and Tapir Rendering
Unit 32G
Frontage Road 6
Moroni's Armpit, UT 84066

Please add 5% shipping and handling. U.S. currency only--no cards, checks, bitcoins, or post-dated two-party out-of-state IOUs.

"getbusylivin: Helping Nevermos Get That New Mormon Smell Since 1830"

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 05:04PM

LMAO!!!

Darlin GBL, you are barkin' up the wrong tree!

Now that I've finished channeling my southern grandmother, thanks for the laugh. :-)

Another part of my story is that I am not presently working. I am on disability for complications with Cerebral Palsy, and was also diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder about 2 1/2 years ago!

I feel that I have a unique perspective on mental health, now having been on both sides of a locking door.
-Jenna

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anonuk ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 07:04PM

JenMikell Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> LMAO!!!
and was also
> diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder about 2
> 1/2 years ago!
>
>


Living with/near mormons does seem to have that effect on many :)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 10:51AM

Though it may not work with major depression, coffee helps with lower level depression.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: edzachery ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 09:22AM

getbusylivin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good that you're a nevermo, but to be able to
> have enhanced insight you'll want to duplicate the
> "Mormon experience" as much as possible.
> Fortunately, I'm here to help.
>
> Just because you're not a Mormon doesn't mean you
> can't know what it feels like to tithe--to give up
> 10% of your earnings to the church. Instead, just
> send that 10% to me, getbusylivin. You'll get up
> to speed on the whole lighter-wallet feeling in no
> time!
>
> Please send your 10% faux-tithe to:
>
> getbusylivin
> c/o Celestial Kingdom Storage Units and Tapir
> Rendering
> Unit 32G
> Frontage Road 6
> Moroni's Armpit, UT 84066
>
> Please add 5% shipping and handling. U.S. currency
> only--no cards, checks, bitcoins, or post-dated
> two-party out-of-state IOUs.
>
> "getbusylivin: Helping Nevermos Get That New
> Mormon Smell Since 1830"


GBL, that's absolutely hilarious! "Tapir Rendering" ROFLOL!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 05:08PM

Welcome, Jen!
Don't be a stranger! :^)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 05:10PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 06:13PM

Well, at least the conversion to Mormonism was a good validation that he was the crazy one.

Welcome to the board, you'll love it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: summer ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 06:58PM

Welcome, Jen! Fellow nevermo here. That must have felt so weird when your husband converted -- perhaps like you had entered the twilight zone.

We're glad to have you!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 07:02PM

Adelante

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: msmom ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 07:03PM

I am glad to hear you have disability, sorry to hear about the CP complications. Like everyone else, I look forward to hearing whatever else you have to say.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cinda ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 07:05PM

Welcome, Jenna. Another nevermo here, also. Looking forward to your posts :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2016 07:05PM by cinda.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 07:08PM

Welcome! Will look forward to your posts here. Your knowledge is valuable.

RB

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 10:34PM

I'm guessing your ex converted, because in Utah, there are tons of LDS women looking for Mormon men!


Welcome!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: gatorman ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 10:47PM

Welcome. My entire career was made easier by competent social workers. DIL msw- works in adoption. Look forward to your insights

Gatorman

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: gatorman ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 11:24PM

What made living in Utah unbearable? Never have but heard stories.

Gatorman

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 11:59PM

First, we were living in his parents' basement. His parents lived in Tooele, so we were kind of isolated. We also had trouble finding jobs. We both ended up getting hired at Convergys, a telemarketing company in South Jordan. We were on the DirecTv account, so customer service. People are mean to customer service reps, and seemed to feel my speech impediment gave them license to call me horrible things.
At the time, I only had my Bachelors of Social Work, and desperately wanted to go to graduate school. Admissions is competitive, and they look heavily at experience in the field. I couldn't find a job in anything remotely related that I was going to be able to do. I WAS offered a position at the special needs preschool, but it never would have worked with the CP. We also had a really hard time making friends. I actually liked some of the people on our team at DTV. But because we weren't Mo, those relationships fizzled quickly when they discovered we had no desire to convert.
So, I was isolated, no friends, living in in-laws' basement, no feasible way to advance career/educational goals.
*Reads post over*
Yep, that pretty much sums it up!

Jenna

Oh, and coming home from my first day of job training and falling flat on my bum because of slippery ice really broke the illusion of beautiful winter snow!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: scaredhusband ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 11:18AM

Ick. Living in your in-laws basement. I can relate to that all to well. That is enough to hate existence, let alone Utah. Not being mormon in a house full of them is an awful situation. I know that part of your life is passed but my condolences.

Welcome to the board! I am excited to hear your position. Especially on cases of abuse.

Just a random question though, you didn't happen to do any teaching at colleges did you? Like say at Dixie?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 01:22PM

Nope, no teaching. That would have been great, but I only had my Bachelor's at the time.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PaintingintheWIN ( )
Date: June 20, 2016 11:55PM

What people do around religion doesnt make sense so often. Someone converting, saying God loves people, and they believe in love, compassionate service all the while acting in an unloving, judgmental, angry way seems such a contradiction.

To hear the movies tell it, a midlife religious conversion looks like someone in a white robe gking off to tibet, so ekne jn a white robe going to live among religiois at a retreat center, calm non agressive, sitting quietly, im medatitive poses. Ok and you can kind of imagine the airplane floatimg over the clouds, only to find that at 16000 feet their bones ache, and they can't breath well.

I stead he converted to mormondumb, and descended to the concrete developmental level of a two year old I am right. The great right. Me me me God says Im right.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JenMikell ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 12:06AM

Thanks painting. Yes, it's amazing what religion can do to some really great people. He has since seen the light (ha!) and resigned, but he really had me shaking my head for a while.

I have a dear friend who recently left a religious cult. It's horrifying to see what they did to her. She is lovely, bright, fun, compassionate, loyal...everything you want in a best friend! I watched her shrink away from herself every day for two years, and it broke my heart. Now that she's out, she's rebuilding, but it's so hard. I don't personally believe in the judeo-christian idea of God. If he is real, however, I don't believe for a second her life in the cult is the life he would want for her.

Was it the Dali Lama who said Christians are so unlike Christ? I think he's on to something.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Darren Steers ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 08:14AM

Welcome to the forum. Enjoy your stay here.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: johnberwick ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 08:32AM

welcome.
love that so many people are from different backgroundS but are able to support and encourage one another.

keep up the good work people!


JB

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 11:44AM

Welcome !!!! Glad you are here.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anonculus ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 01:49PM

>>>During the divorce, he converted to Mormonism. This was really weird,<<<

Hmm, maybe he had a mormon lady lined up already?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Twinker ( )
Date: June 21, 2016 01:59PM

Growing up in the midst of Mormonism was damaging to me.

As I've said many times, being inside Mormonism must be horribly boring. But being outside, looking in, it is endlessly fascinating.

Your ex may not know just what he's in for. But he'll learn!

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Sorry, you can't reply to this topic. It has been closed. Please start another thread and continue the conversation.