Seriously, using that picture of them holding swords with a firm grip was really not thought through very well. And I'm not talking about the anachronistic lack of steel in North America in BoM times. ;)
"Skills similar to what is used by soldiers, athletes and musicians in order to be prepared for the speed of Satanic attacks."
I'm a professional, classical musician. If you consider navigating the vocal passagio, then, yes, I have been trained to meet a Satanic attack. What does it even mean, the speed of Satanic attacks?
Like nothing else, their website gives me a visceral, rageful reaction.
The other name for "Satan attack" is "raging boner." At that age, Satan attacks quickly and without warning. As we get older, he feels like his work is done and it's more often a "Satan Taunt" or a "Satan Tease." Sometimes I even wonder out loud, "Satan, don't you hate me anymore? Where did you go? Attack! Attack!"
Oh my! Maybe I'm tired or something, but I read this GQ C, and started laughing, and kept on until the tears started to flow. Oh wait, there's even snot running now. Thanks for that!
Church: "The Sons of Helaman is a group of young men who have dedicated themselves to helping each other overcome unwanted pornography and/or masturbation addictions......they practice and develop the warrior instincts that are required to conquer these addictions for the rest of their lives. They ......are trained how to use the most powerful weapons known to science and spirituality to defeat him. This program is ideal for helping a young man prepare for his mission and/or temple marriage."
Science: Regular ejaculation is good for men, reduces prostate cancer, relieves stress, and can enhance your your sexual relationship......etc. If you aren't getting it regularly form your partner, masturbation will work just fine.
I do have a question though.....what exactly are "the most powerful weapons known to science" that are used to defeat him (satan)?
As Jonny noted, the testimonies (at least the dozen I read) all involve masturbation and porn. The really sad part of this is yet to be revealed--how mentally fucked-up these young men are going to be due to the "therapy" they're receiving. Then again, we'll be getting a cadre of new EXMOs in a couple of years. I can't wait to hear the stories they'll share! Oh, and the most powerful scientific weapon is to have them sing, "We Thank Thee oh God for a Prophet" in the Shower. I think I'll start a new thread! Satan's Boner.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2016 06:38PM by BYU Boner.
Steve Spoonemore Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When I was the age of those poor boys we called > "team efforts to deal with masturbation" a circle > jerk.
Darn you, Steve Spoonemore!! I just spewed my kawfy all over my laptop!! That's hilarious, dude! :)
they have a girls' section too and here are a list of the 'skills' that girls get to learn:
What Skills Are Taught?
Woman Power Satan is Real The Reality of Royalty Creepy Guy Detector Confidently Me Letting Pain Go Addictions Dating Dilemmas I said No! Protection The Role of Woman Priorities
So, learning the 'role of woman' (through mormon eyes) is a life skill now? How is the one titled 'I said No!' supposed to teach skills? Are the girls likely to be instructed in physical self defence to back up their voices, or are they just being set up for future failure and self hate when they are unable to protect themselves adequately with their voice alone?
anonuk Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How is the one titled > 'I said No!' supposed to teach skills? Are the > girls likely to be instructed in physical self > defence to back up their voices, or are they just > being set up for future failure and self hate when > they are unable to protect themselves adequately > with their voice alone? > > I despair for any girls caught up in this web.
Thanks for pointing this out.
Sadly, this web includes most of the rest of the world. I'm in a medium-sized, non-Mormon, Canadian city where women are told by all helping professions that they shouldn't be asking for help to get rid of stalkers. They're told they have to learn how to do this for themselves; that they're conceited and think they're better than their stalker; that they're delusional; or that it's not important. Victim blaming, victim pathologizing, and minimizing. Nothing is done, violence escalates, and lives are ruined.
Mormonism is just a more extreme version of non-Mormon society.
This is truly pathetic. How in the hell can an LCSW with any ethics at all go about telling teenage boys that masturbation,which is normal, natural and healthy is now somehow "an addiction" ??? And in such a mindless "the devil is possessing me" way. the University of Utah is giving social work degrees to these assholes? Time to have a required class called "Normal Adolescent Sexuality " before handing out ANY kind of social work degree. Guilt inducing SOBS .All of them.