hey guys, i havent posted in a long time. i was thinking of joining the lds church but after a long chain of events and after some things didnt seem right to me i realized it was a sham. surprisingly a friend of mine has stuck by me, she doesnt pressure me to come to church or other mormon functions, i think she realizes its a sham too but stays for her family but shes been a big support. after i "woke up" something inside me died, my husband tried taking me to other churches and nothing is the same. im just so sad, every time i drive by the temple i cry. im wondering if things would of just been better if i stayed in blissful ignorance.

People grieve when they lose something that was important to them. Sadly, it's normal life.

But what happens next is that people begin to heal. The timing is different for different people, but if you give yourself a chance, it will come.

I'm so glad that you have your friend and your husband who are trying to comfort you. In time, I hope that true things, like their support and love, will become the things that you think about most. And the unhappy memories of your disappointment will fade.

try jesus OPie


https://youtu.be/HMzZYkEGywI



(srs)

that made me smile <3

That's Jeeeza.

If Mormonism has some of that in their meetings I'd consider attending...not rejoin, just attend. I'd even consider making a $20 dollar donation each time!

You can google the temple ceremonies if you are curious as to what goes on inside there. Apart from that, I think it is normal to feel sad when a person or an organization has disappointed you. In time you will adjust.

You probably will not want to attend the LDS Temple after you find out what they do in it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xKAYfpojhM

I dont want to go there, I just have to drive past it every day and it upsets me. Its something I used to want but I know what happens there and dont want it anymore.

You don't enter the kingdom of heaven when you die. You enter it when you are living. Or rather, it enters you. There is no treasure waiting in the next life because you are the treasure. You are holding a sacred space. Life is a blessing. You are the prayer.

You only feel dead because a field of weeds has been burned away. Now is the time to plant flowers.

That's really beautiful, Babyloncansuckit! Oops, sorry...I just got something in my eye... ;)

Maybe after you try Jesus, (thanks Ziller! for waking me up with that music lol,) you could also try a local Jewish house of worship - if there aren't any Christian churches that do it for you. I've been to many churches since learning Mormonism is a fraud. I have been sort of nurtured at each of them to varying degrees, but none felt like home or a sanctuary to me. My local synagogue does. The people there treat each other like family, with respect and dignity, no head games, and just genuine fellowshipping that I really thrive on. It's become my "church" home these past few years.

Nowadays I can drive by a LDS temple and marvel at the architecture that goes into each building (especially the older ones.) The images of what goes on inside in the name of the Lord is really sacrilege IMO, and counters biblical mandates. So I don't fret over missing out on that because it's a pseudo religion. It isn't real what goes on inside - it is empty and devoid of true love, charity, and pure religion. As for your searching, that's a good sign. Who wants to settle for junk religion, when you could have steak instead?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2016 12:51AM by Amyjo.

so you marvel at crap then?

I don't consider the architecture to be crap on the older temples. They are historic landmark buildings, and have aesthetic value as well as historic. I'm able to separate my feelings about the junk religion that's Mormonism, from the temples that were built particularly the first sixteen. The Washington D.C. temple was the last of the larger grand scale temples built prior to the LDS church making its mini-temples its known for today.

The older ones gets my attention and admiration. After 1974, they are no longer in production. I grew up in the shadow of the Idaho Falls temple. It was right next to the LDS hospital on Memorial Drive Pkwy. The hospital has been gone for decades. But the temple remains, and is a lovely sight on the riverfront there in downtown Idaho Falls. So yeah, I'm partial to that even as a non-LDS now. The Logan temple is where my TBM grandparents and great-grandparents were married and sealed. St. George I think is really lovely even though I can laugh at what goes on inside, it took much pain and sacrifice for the earliest pioneers to construct those, as well as the SLC temple and that's another historic landmark and architectural wonder IMO.

My point to the OP was she can cope without getting all teary eyed over the church not being true, even as she must drive by the temple every day. If she can just take each day as it comes, and appreciate the beauty around her for its own sake, it doesn't really matter she is not a Mormon - she can separate her feelings from the pseudo aspects of the religion, while still being a part of her community.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2016 09:06AM by Amyjo.

I take your point, but mentally I put the Washington, D.C. temple more in the category of "spectacle." Architecturally it reminds me of a Disney castle. Ditto for the San Diego temple.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2016 09:58AM by summer.

But it is the first step to recovering from a false hard felt illusion.

You need to be patient and take tiny steps day by day into a new sense of reality and personal freedom.

There are times when we all want to crawl back into the safety of the womb but the reality is we can and do go on and we're better off for it.

I'm glad you have some support which many don't have. They can't do this for you but it's nice to know you're not alone.

Good luck and know we care.

I can understand where you are coming from. My family is still in the awful cult. My wife, the family I was born into, the family I married into, all swallow that garbage. It makes me sick every time I think about it too much. I wonder sometimes what life would be like if I had not swallowed the red pill. I get caught in what ifs way too much.

I find my happiness in the relationships that I have created before I woke up and were authentic. There are times when I have to remind myself that things aren't as bad as they could be.

I guess the point I am getting to, and taking forever at getting there, is find things that make you happy. Find things to be grateful for. I am sure that the good in your life outweighs the bad.

There will always be a little hole in your heart missing church and the community. Sorry to be horribly honest, but it is true. I resigned like 2 years ago and i still miss it. That is completely normal, but you have to give it time.
You will heal, I promise you will feel better. You have to see it as a new chance to build a new life, a new way of seeing things, a guilt-free way to choose as you want. A new adventure.
Remember that you are not alone, there's a lot of people who shared that same feeling like you do right now and we overcame them.
It is okay to be sad, to be depressed, but always bounce back. Give yourself time to feel miserable, but don't ever forget that you will overcome this. Because you WILL!

One thing I learned is that it is okay to be sad. We are taught growing up in the church that we need to be happy all the time. If not there is something wrong with us. Embrace it, all emotions are part of our experience. But try not to let it effect everything else that is great about your life. I am more spiritual now with my new beliefs. I never would have discovered them if it weren't for that "void."

Same happened to me after leaving Mormonism.

It really does get better on the outside. The longer I've been out, the more silly it all seems to me now.

It was the "void" that let me know something was amiss while I was yet active TBM. Thank goodness for that. It got me to start searching outside of my comfort zone.

I also get a little sad when I drive by a mormon temple, because I think of the people who go in there thinking that there really is something connected to God in there, instead of doing the hand jive to made up stories and rituals.

The worst time of my life was the transition out. In the church, I was happy, and out of the church, I was happy, but the middle ground is an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2016 09:43AM by amongthetombstones.

I can't quite put this all together. You investigated the church and decided not to join. There were no social consequences for doing so -- you still have your friend and your husband is being supportive. This doesn't seem to me to be a destabilizing event, as so many of us who invested years of brainwashing in the church.

So I have to wonder if perhaps your problem is depression -- this is a sort of over-the-top response to a minor stressor. You might consider looking for a good therapist or talking to your primary physician about feeling so sad all the time.