I have a TBM family member who posted this to FB today with a picture of her local temple:
"Anger. Fear. Hurt. Misunderstanding. Those are just a few of the feelings I felt the last time I was at the temple. It was the day the policy change was announced. I was immediately filled with confusion and anger - stronger than I had ever felt before. I was terrified as I found myself unexpectedly but sincerely questioning my membership in a church I claimed to believe in. Through gut-wrenching sobs I loaded my little girls up, parked outside the Provo temple and sang primary songs with them until they fell asleep. But it didn't stop there. After months and months of discussions with trusted family members, neighbors and leaders, researching and reading (credible sources only), prayers of agony, confusion and pure anger and preparing lessons for Gospel Principles (a calling I truly believe has saved me), I have received my revelation. Though still deeply tender and fragile I have *finally* found my peace again. Only this time I'm here full of understanding, light and truth. The journey was excruciatingly painful at times but the reward for enduring the struggle has surpassed the pain. Not only do I have greater faith I am walking away with greater empathy and Christ-like love for those the policy change directly effected. I am *so grateful* for my heavenly and earthly angels. It's good to be back."

It doesn't make a lot of logical sense to me, and the only way I can figure this is that she simply 'had enough faith' to overcome....? Because she certainly doesn't explain any reasoning toward understanding the policy change....
We deal with my husband's family all being super TBM - both parents and all 3 siblings and their spouses. I keep waiting for the day just one of them sees the light, but so far, we are the only ones. It's so depressing!

Twist, twist, twist.

She's probably come to understand that the policy to shun is for their own good. She loves them all the more through protection. See how much more palatable that is?

"... I have received my revelation. Though still deeply tender and fragile I have *finally* found my peace again. Only this time I'm here full of understanding, light and truth."

That means she finally lost her internal struggle to makes sense, any kind of sense, out of mormonism......so she acquiesced and gave in, ran out of energy, so doubting the doubt became the path of least resistance.

My guess is the "revelation" was something like "its not important to your eternal salvation and will all be explained in the after life, so don't worry about it now." Whew! Faith crisis averted!

My guess is that she had a good/peaceful feeling come over her, which the mind can create if it want is bad enough (i.e. chills, stupor of thought, etc.)

"...researching and reading (credible sources only)..."

Sigh.

Of course, "credible sources" are sources which toe the church line, and offer no criticism. Is it any surprise, then, that she chose to toe the church line, and give up all criticism?

Was this the policy change in 1978, or something more recent?

Kids of same sex couples....

Which Policy are we talking about? is it coke?

I had a relative that sounds about the same age make a similar post. She decided that it she was going to stay in and be a shining example to her gay friends and her kids. They will see that she can stay no matter how difficult it gets.


I'm sorry, but her post disgusted me. What a lame, self righteous way to go. She's going to stay in so she doesn't have to deal with anything. It doesn't matter how sick or crazy the church is, by damn she's sticking with it!

If you can rest your shelves on the ground, they can handle any weight!

can I have the drugs that she is taking? Must be nice to have "found peace".

a policy of LOVE !! in the name of jee bus amens

Has the church issued some sort of guideline on how to write your "faith crisis." ;)

Maybe the Church presumes that if enough people write their experience of a faith crisis ending with a firm testimony and secure activity, others will less tempted to stray...?

I keep reading them. All the same. Each as disingenuous as the next.

Cognitive dissonance at its finest, I think.... I view it as a somewhat self righteous move - she often posts to social media in this way - purporting to have a weakness, or being 'humble', but then ending with something triumphant to show how wonderful she is.... (Although this is the first I've heard of a 'faith crisis', so clearly the rest of the family wasn't passing this news along).
I've found with husband's family, the relationships are pretty superficial, and we never talk about anything of substance.

Way to smother your conscience.

I know exactly what she's doing, I did it too at one time.
Until I got so depressed that I just wanted to will myself to quit breathing.

She'll either come to a crisis of conscience or not. You really cannot debate with people like that because they don't use or understand logic. They depend on a bunch of crabby old men for guidance and believe it is from a loving God.

I pity her.

dogeatdog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Through gut-wrenching sobs I loaded my little
> girls up, parked outside the Provo temple and sang
> primary songs with them until they fell asleep.


Those kids are going to be screwed up. :(

"Through gut-wrenching sobs I loaded my little girls up, parked outside the Provo temple, and sang primary songs with them until they fell asleep."

That's embarrassing!

Nutball....

It seems to me that her desire to have peace is greater than her desire to have truth. I can empathize with that. I love peace, too. The difference is we chose truth over peace, no matter how painful it was. Kudos to all of you who had the strength and courage to choose truth over peace, consequences be damned. No matter what they might say, most of us sure as hell didn't "take the easy way out".

To me what that said was:

I felt bad about it but I'm going to support it anyway.

And don't BLAME me because:
1) It made me uncomfortable to think about it
2) I didn't come up with the answer, God did.

So anyway, sorry.

P.S. Don't say bad things about me, and actually, you should feel sorry for ME 'cause I'm still feelin' really tender about it still, since I really really care.

This is spot on. Like she's trying to absolve herself of responsibility, guilt, and blame.

Well isn't that special!

I love how people think it absolves them of responsibility for supporting that hateful bigoted cult if they struggled with the policy and were left with empathy. "Oh, but look how much faith I have now."

No. If you are still giving them money, you are culpable in this travesty. Period. End of subject.

This sounds similar to some of the church stories we hear about people praying for hours...for days even...until they get the "right" answer.

In other words, the answer the church wants them to have.

They know there are 4 lights, but after struggling with the obvious, they give in--and believe there are 5 lights.

'THERE....ARE.....4.....LIGHTS!'

What a wonderful star trek: the next generation reference. And completely applicable.

People like this decide to drown their conscience in platitudes and sanctimonious feel-goodery. 'I've found my faith, I'm like Alma the younger, BLAH BLAH BLAH'.

The truth is, the church doesn't give a flying fuck how you feel about anything, as long as you keep it to yourself, and keep giving 10 percent, preferrably out of your gross, not your net. I can't believe anyone pays out of their gross. That's like an extra 10 percent for... an older couple who I live with..



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2016 12:18AM by midwestanon.

So she came to the realization that the church is a complete fraud? That is the only outcome where you could feel peace without selling your soul.

It would be exactly like the German citizens feeling bad about putting Jews into ghettos. "It's for their own good. Shouldn't they be with their own kind? We'll all be better off for it. I feel really bad about them losing their homes, but they'll have a new home assigned to them"

Soothe those tender feelings and make the angst go away. Jesus wants it this way.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2016 07:33PM by Devoted Exmo.

I see a ray of hope that this TBM family dared to question a little even if the questioning did not move from the sphere of approved sources. I know some TBM's who would not think of going in a direction that this member took.

Faithful Mormons find it useful to hold their doubt underwater like an unloved child until it stops kicking.

Wow. Great analogy. Drown your doubts.

I still say the best answer is, "Don't worry, another Christian church will be happy to baptize the kids and teach them the gospel." TBMs need to get over themselves.

I had been praying, and crying, and fasting for hours. I realized that the sooner I made a decision, the sooner I could be at the drive-thru for my burger and coke.

I knew that if I remained in the understanding of light and truth, that the Lord would continue to bless me with more healthy children, and a husband to go to work for us every day, and buy me a bigger house. Whew--I almost rocked the boat.

"I am *so grateful* for my heavenly and earthly angels. It's good to be back. (in my SUV on my way to McDonald's)"

The comments she's gotten make me want to barf. All praising her and telling her how wonderful she is.

"You're such a great example to me of being a true 'seeker' of the gospel. Love you and thank you for sharing your deep and beautiful feelings."

"Remember this: it was not a policy 'change'. It was a strong lesson to be learned by His people. A reminder of what are meant to do and become. You learned it and stuck with it and replaced the pride with humility. That is a rare thing. This is just another example of us trying to understand Him and His Plan. Keep on keeping on"



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2016 02:58AM by dogeatdog.