I was wondering about something and would like you to tell me if it would work or not. I haven't resigned yet, for family reasons, but would like to disappear from the mighty morg's field of view.

From time to time I travel around. If I were to go to the other side of the country, say the East coast, and look up a mormon church there and tell the bishop that I was moving there and wanted my records transferred to his ward, could I become a "lost member"? I would look up a rental unit and have an address for the bishop, but I would never actually move there.

I could lie my ass off to this bishop and he would already be thinking of all the callings he could extend to me. I know the inner workings and lingo enough to explain any questions he would have for me. Do you think this would work?

Wouldn't the current ward just make one last check of your current address, after you have supposedly moved to the East coast? They'd find you - unless you are planning to move locally, too.

They'd figure out in short order that you gave them a bad address, and they'd send a letter to your old address with address service requested. They'd know then you hadn't moved.

There is no foolproof way to hide. Spending the rest of your life trying to hide is just letting them continue to control your actions.

Find a 'residence drug treatment center' in the East coast city of your choice; you could do this with Google Maps. Give the ward clerk a little note that you're moving at the end of the month. If you haven't been active, they'll be thrilled to get you off their records and probably won't care a whit when someone at ward council mentions seeing later in the year. You're no longer their problem.

When someone in the 'new ward' goes to look for you, they'll either not even go in, or go to the front desk where they are likely to be told, "we don't give out personal information. We can neither confirm nor deny that anyone named Sung Mung Beep lives here."

Maybe, maybe not...

http://tech.lds.org/wiki/Locating_members

That's what the church teaches ward clerks and bishops to do when they "lose" a member.
Using those techniques, they'd probably still find you. So it depends if somebody misses you enough to use those techniques...

Too much trouble. I agree with Brother Of Jerry.

Instead of hiding, lying, and bending over backwards for your Mormon family--do something good for yourself. Really take charge of your own life! That's how you break away from Mormonism.

You can be peaceful, loving, and non-confrontational, yet be assertive at the same time, if you set some personal boundaries. I had to quit all my church callings, temporarily, when I became ill. The ward was nasty about it. I couldn't help being sick. I even showed the leaders a letter from my doctor, explaining the situation, and why I needed to rest and stay away from crowds, etc. I also had to take a leave of absence from my job--and they were very kind and understanding--they kept my office open for me, waiting for my return--they even gave me a going-away party! Not so with my volunteer church callings. The bishop even threatened that if I quit my callings, that I would get even sicker!

What I'm telling you, is that there is no gracious, civilized, reasonable way to leave a hoax cult!

My children left with me, too. When they went away to college, the ward kept pounding on my door, and accosting me in my driveway, and harassing me for my kids' addresses and information. The only way I could put a stop to that was to formally resign.

Still, looking back, I'm glad that I tried to be nice, anyway. I don't feel guilty that the Mormons are shunning me. I refused to compromise my integrity by being sneaky and telling lies.

Don't ruin your reputation. Don't lie that you are in rehab or living in New York, or that you've joined another church, or that you are gay, or that you are dying of an illness. Your family will know you are lying.

You have a right to leave a religion!
You don't owe anyone an explanation.
The Mormons have no power over you.

Whether you go to church or not, is between you and God. You can make your own boundaries there. If you don't want Mormon relatives to know, then go to church once every two months, and bring along your i-phone, or a book hidden in a scripture cover. What counts, is where your heart is. I used to read the Bible during meetings, because I believed in the Bible.

Your boundaries are your own, whether you tell others about them, or not. I had a boundary of not answering the door after 9;30 at night. I lived alone, and felt very uncomfortable when groups of Mormon men would pound on my door. This eliminated 80% of Mormon visits, because they always happened at night, unannounced. Now, I don't open my door to anyone I don't know, and I have a "No Solicitors" sign on my door.

Conversational boundaries are important, too. Plan ahead what your answer will be for questions. Here are some of mine.

"We haven't seen you in church for a while."
---Right. I haven't been there.

"It's your turn to clean the ward house."
---I'm not going to do that
"Why not?"
---No, I won't do that. Just repeat "no"

"Why weren't you at the temple wedding?"
---My recommend expired.

Never explain--it just opens up the conversation for debate.

No Mormon has ever asked me why I left. They probably won't ask you, either. They are afraid to. They will preach at you, bear their testimony, threaten you, harass you--but they will never listen to you.

You can tell your family about your travels (sounds exciting!) and your life, and you can argue about politics, and you can ask to see pictures of their children, etc. With religion, you can be silent and strong.

Congratulations on getting free of the cult. It takes courage!

I was quite easily lost for decades. All I had to do was keep changing my mailing address to various mail agents like UPS mailboxes. They gave up. I did resign this year using a UPS mailbox as the address (it is my real mailing address). I sent the resignation via email but got a physical letter in my box telling me I'm out.

"Lost" is a temporary and relative term.

I went to the LDS website that hie provided in his post. Wow! As a nevermo, I am amazed at the lengths to which the Mormon 'church' will go to locate a "lost " member. It almost reads as though it is instructing law enforcement as to how to locate a wanted fugitive or convicted felon. Certainly, just one more in a long list of indicators to prove that LDS, Inc. is a cult. Unbelievable.

wow I agree crazy to go through all the work... but they are saving a persons eternal soul (sarcasm)

Like Devoted Exmo I managed to stay lost for 35 years. I married (which meant a change of surname) and moved house and they never found me. I only resurfaced in their eyes a couple of years ago when I resigned. Even then I used my sister's address (with her consent), as I really didn't want them to have any contact with my family.

I was once a Ward Clerk. I would get locator cards from the home office to ask the relatives of Bro Lost who lived in my ward where Bro Lost is now living.

If you want to be lost you really can't have an address. The algorithms in use today are so much more sophisticated in locating you.