Can I obtain a restraining order against contact from the local ward, stake and mission? Under what circumstances?

Three weeks ago, we were contacted by the exec sec about our 17yo inactive, (no priesthood) son having an interview with the bishop dude. I wrote bishie a clear handwritten note explaining our wishes for a complete no contact policy. He told DW at church that he would instruct his exec sec accordingly.

So yesterday, we get another call from the exec sec, this time seeking my son for his "yearly interview" with the bish.

So they are doing their typical lying for the lord dance. I want to avoid seeing the bishop cuz I am afraid I may do something foolish to him.

The exec sec is a convicted felon, attempted murder of his wife and family. He did hard time in the CA state pen. Recovering alcoholic and drug addict, and known practicing homosexual, possibly pedophile. Their united persistence makes me suspect their motives. I do NOT want my son anywhere near these creeps, much less shut in a private room with one adult male intent on exploring his sexuality.

As a parent and exmo, one of my greatest regrets was stupidly allowing my kids to be interviewed by these weirdo perverts of Moism, the "priesthood leaders". This caused damage to my relationship with my kids, and burdened them with guilt. I won't let this happen again.

Will the courts grant a restraining order in such an instance against harassing church leaders? Do I need a lawyer to obtain one?

if you can get an attorney to lend you his name write a letter to be sent to the Bishop, Stake President and SLC bigwigs stating that any further contact will be met with legal repercussions AND media contact. And I would state in the letter your concerns about the Exec Sec's character as well. I don't think it would cost too much if you type the letter yourself ahead of time -- but I could be wrong about that. :)

Thanks Rebekah.

I checked out my state's procedures on this, and it is simple and free of cost to obtain a 90 day civil court RO. After that you need a hearing to extend, not something I would enjoy. So it's not really a long term solution. Only resignation might help in that case, and I don't wish to push that for DW's sake. I'm still hoping for an amicable understanding with no more fuss from the bish.

Still, it's leverage I suppose. I'll write a page outlining the situation as you suggest, and let the bish have one more try at reining in his exec. If he refuses, I'll copy the SP, and then file for an RO.

This exec bothers me, when I was his home teacher 20 years ago, he exposed himself to me and tried to get me to play. Only time that's ever happened to me, and I won't place my son at risk.

DW is losing it, she's really pissed that I even care about this.

I imagine your wife simply can't get her mind around the fact that one of God's "chosen" could possibly be a sexual predator. Does she know what he did when you were a home teacher? If not, could you tell her? I think it's important that she's on the same page as you about protecting your son, otherwise she might go behind your back and expose your son to something neither of you want for him.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Rebeckah Wrote:
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> I imagine your wife simply can't get her mind
> around the fact that one of God's "chosen" could
> possibly be a sexual predator. Does she know what
> he did when you were a home teacher? If not, could
> you tell her? I think it's important that she's on
> the same page as you about protecting your son,
> otherwise she might go behind your back and expose
> your son to something neither of you want for
> him.
>
> I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Thanks, Rebeckah. Yes she knows about the exec, and she knows there are pedos in TSCC. She even once associated our then-young family with an LDS exed pedo remarried liar, cuz she liked the wife. But like you say, when it comes to the people she knows, she's in denial.

She doesn't think there would be any downside to any activity whatsoever in TSCC, she wants our son back in. She's frustrated cuz our last two boys won't listen to her church stuff anymore.

She can't do anything tho, even tho she disagrees. Our boys are very independent, and don't want TSCC.

I'm so glad you're protecting your child.

That's even more important than keeping your wife happy. It must be hard for her to believe this situation. : (

Yeah, she thinks I'm a crazed devil.

Our local police won't help. It's a rural area, with many residents, but few officers. But an RO is an option. I prefer diplomacy.

I'll phone the bish, and I expect he will at least pretend to cooperate. Especially when he reads the data sheet. I assume he knows about the exec's history, and he may not know the guy is calling us again.

I assume your wife knows about the sexual stuff, right? If not, it may help reach a solution.

As for "Only resignation might help in that case, and I don't wish to push that for DW's sake.", well, what about your son's sake? I would think that it would less psychologically damaging to your wife for you to resign than it would be for your son to be molested.

Also, what I quoted above also indicates to me that your wife is a TBM, in which case, are you sure she is not asking for help in keeping your son in TSCC? If she is, then restraining orders could get messy because one parent wants the contact the other does not.

Don't worry MJ, I and my sons will do all in our power to prevent any danger to our youngest.

But resigning could well push DW into a deep depressive spiral. I think this can be solved without that.

So in the case of a minor child, both parents have to agree and sign the civil RO? I thot maybe cuz it will be in civil, not family, court, that perhaps I could pursue it solo as the father. That could well be a problem, I doubt she would want to do that.

She swears she has had nothing to do with the visits and calls we have been getting, and that she doesn't want to "be in the middle", as she puts it, but it sure is possible that she is partly behind them. She's not always honest, especially when it comes to her church.

Kinda funny tho, cuz she knows how completely anti priesthood I am.

hello Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> So in the case of a minor child, both parents have
> to agree and sign the civil RO? I thot maybe cuz
> it will be in civil, not family, court, that
> perhaps I could pursue it solo as the father. That
> could well be a problem, I doubt she would want to
> do that.
>

IF you are still married, it is still family and even civil courts recognize the rights and responsibilities of both the parents. If one parent wants a restraining order and the other does not, it may well end up in family court. I do not know for certain but your wife is supposed to have equal say in raising the child.

DH and I asked the police for help with mormon harassment. The chief did write a letter and sent it to the bish, the SP, and the MP, telling them to keep local mormons off out property. For us, this was easier and cheaper than going through the legal system to get a court order.

Not all local police departments would step in to help in this situation. It might depend on how busy they were, how much your family has suffered from morg intrusions, and what you've done to prvent it.

You could always go to the police and tell them you want to simply file a complaint to document the harassment and your determination to prevent it. Then you could send a copy of the complaint to the bish or tell him in a letter that you filed it.

Mormons are often wimps. If you threaten public exposure or police action in a forceful, they generally back down.

In this civilized world isn't a simple "Fuck Off" fends off people? I think it works 99% of time.

Military Jag in Hawaii was able to help me get a restraining order against my former bishop when he broke into my home. He says that isn't what it was... but if you enter my home after I have declined to answer the door, without my permission... that's breaking into my home.

Yes it's possible.

Anyone with a felony record like you describe is probably in violation of parole for contacting minors, using the guise of official church business is no excuse.

Then ask the police under what circumstances you may obtain a restraining order because you’ve already identified yourselves as not interested and they persist or if another course of legal action is advisable.

Or does your son need to resign to make their contacts illegal.

The exec is not a convicted pedophile, he was sent up for attempted murder. Does that type of conviction require a parolee to avoid all contact with minors?

I don't think he is an officially recognized sex offender. But he does creep me out, cuz he expressed himself in a graphically sexual way towards me, and cuz he wrote a manuscript, which he asked me to critique (I was his HT, and am a writer). This "novel" was a thinly disguised autobiographical work describing his gay lifestyle in prison. Terrible prose, unreadable, and extremely disturbing, at least to me. After I had a (very brief) look at it, I advised him to burn it, forget about it, and talk to the bishop. (Hey, I was tbm at the time, sorry).

He wasn't happy with that, was offended actually, but he did eventually talk to the bishop, and he has gone thru whatever "rehabilitation exercises" the local leaders have required of him. So they prolly think he is all cool, but he still creeps me out.

He seems stable now, and I hope he finds peace.

I don't know the terms of his parole, but that kind of activity may be suspicious to the police. Many convicts would like to set themselves up with a supposedly legitimate excuse for contacting minors, the problem here is that you already told him your not interested and he won't take no for an answer.