Posted by:
sonofperdition
(
)
Date: September 08, 2016 10:54PM
Of course for national suicide prevention week. Gotta prove they aren't a cult, so they do what is hip and #trending.
Quick Summary on how to prevent suicide
1. Pray
2. Bake someone cookies
3. Bear you testimony and fake cry so people will think your spiritual
4. Read your Book of Mormon
5. Pray about the Book of Mormon. Repeat, Bang head against wall.
6. Go to the temple.
7. Get Xanax or some other antidepressant.
8. Pay your tithing.
9. Talk about how BYU will win the National Championship this year.
10. Go to McDonald's for FHE. Bless the food that it will give you nourishment and strength.
11. Read a Greg Tremble talk. That'll do the trick!
Do Not:
1. Look at porn. This will definitely kill you
2. Get get plastic surgery or fake boob job like all those apostate women in Highland.
3. Caffeine is a gateway drug. The next step is heroin. They are one in the same. They both kill people.
4. Do not watch movies that are rated higher than PG.
5. Dust that old Skousen book off the shelf. Start hating the government. Believe that flu shots and fluoride in the water are bad for you.
6. Home school your children. Save money on textbooks by reading them out of a hat.
that's all i got out of it.
https://www.ksl.com/?sid=41400264&nid=148