I guess when the women were asked to "boldly" speak out against anything that offends them at women's conference, this bishops wife decided it was her duty to become judge, jury and executioner. Hope this link works....it made me so mad I had to learn a whole new technology. A friend received this yesterday!

http://imgur.com/6lMJkg9

"I hope to see you at church and pray you will understand this note in the way it was meant and intended."

Let's see, the bishop's wife wants to shame and judge, but it's up to the supposedly immodest dresser to see the note as something other than that. Yep, set things up so that the offender doesn't have to take responsibility for being a complete jerk.

I sure hope your friend responded to that note.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2016 05:08PM by want2bx.

This type of shit makes me so fucking mad....

I think I would have to wear the very thing she pointed out as being immodest every Sunday from that point forward.

Exactly. If she brings it up again, ask for "where" it says you can't wear what you want. The Handbook? The BOM? Where?? FU

"We missed you today"

Well, you can miss me next week, too. And the week after, and the next, and the next, etc. I'll come back when we get a new bishop with a decent wife....

The content and the condescending tone were very infuriating!

I did laugh out loud at the next message that said, "We missed you today."

I think the targeted young woman responded with the best reply ever--absence! LOL!

They fancy themselves personable. They practice passive-aggressive behavior and call it helpful conversation. I know their kind.

This is exactly what was preached to the women on Saturday night! Speak boldly because you are the only person in the entire world who knows what is right and what to wear...Barf!! But be sensitive and over the top condescending while doing it!

Good morning this is (insert here),
I hope you are having a great weekend. I wanted to reach out and thank you for your pious and self righteous text. It is wonderful. If I may because I am self righteous and must put my nose in everyone elses business, I will ask you to consider something and that you take it in the best way possible, even though that isn't the spirit that I am intending to convey with the following text. Respect is earned and the way you behave and treat me deserves zero respect. The way you treat others makes other brothers and sisters uncomfortable. Especially when you set yourself in a self appointed position above others. May I ask you to consider to keep your opinion's and judgments to yourself. I hope that this doesn't offend but if it does it is totally your fault and not mine. While the Lord looketh on the heart I find that you are not. Thank you for understanding.

I love this!

Nice working! I especially like your use of "brother and sisters.

Yeah, this message was racist, as well. She is arrogant to take on the title of "ward Mom", riding on the wave of her husband's work as bishop. I read pathology, here.

this kind of behavior ("I'm the ward Mom") was referred to as "Wearing your husband's stripes," and was MUCH frowned upon, especially by the junior officers' wives.

I see the same kind of behavior here and I don't like it. SHE does not have a calling. HER HUSBAND DOES. She needs to get over herself.

I like how she called herself "Sister Bishop" at the beginning.
Sounds like she should join the "ordain women" campaign, yes? :)

Just doing what comes natural and what she has been taught from the pulpit all these years.

Be judgemental
Be condescending
Be passive aggressive
Be unkind
Be unsympathetic
Be threatening
Be authoritarian


I could go on and on. But I'm glad to see the young lady in question didn't show up for her next round of judgement.

Devoted Exmo's list explains so much...!

Didn't Hinckley write a book about "bees" based on these very principles?

I feel like it was okay to say something about it, since it sounds like she was new in the ward?, because many places DO have some sort of dress code. Personally, I always ASK if I am visiting another person's church, because I know this is the way it can be. I still remember pinning doilies to the top of our hair (AGES AGO) when visiting a Catholic church.

But the "respect" part should have been left out. That's what was offensive to ME. She was implying that the outfit she wore showed a lack of respect.

She might have said, in person away from others, "the members in our ward are very conservative when it comes to dress. Young women are guided to wear dresses or skirts that are near knee length and that have some sort of sleeve to the top. It's not absolutely required, but that's mostly what you will see here, and I just wanted you to be aware of it."

Well, I think I was only "barely" less offensive.
I guess that's the best I can do with a stupid LDS pioneer dress code.

Can you imagine having this woman for a mil? OMG.

She probably has a son that has the hots for this girl and she's freaking out about it. If this is the case, this girl could have some real button pushing fun with this.

Are you Tongan?

It appears that the ward is a Tongan Ward (at least from the letter). I don't know Tongan culture, but it is possible that there are some types of dress that are inappropriate for that culture which you normally don't think about.

I know of ONE MAJOR IDIOT who came to a formal function in the South when I was there, dressed in a baseball cap, sleeveless shirt, and pants with holes in them. Sure, we may have offended him by asking him to leave, but he offended the entirety of the rest of the function by disrespecting the formal occasion.

In which case, you should be thanking your lucky stars she sent a private letter rather than publically shaming.

Then again if it is simply a church function that is outside the Tongan culture, probably out of line I suppose. I was under the impression that the bishop's wife in a LDS ward had NO authority whatsoever. That she is basically just another ward member. So, if that is true, does it even really matter what she said?

I looked up Tongan culture and clothing and it appears that at dances there are quite a number of strapless dresses or something that the woman wear in their dances, along with sleeveless shirts and such. The men also seem to go bare chested with some sort of wrap around and briefs under that.

In more formal attire it appears woman wear some sort of long dress (it has sleeves). They also seem to wear decent blouses with frilly sleeves and stuff, and blouses while the men wear button up shirts and slacks. Everything seems to go to the elbows or knees in those instances.

So, perhaps dressing formally to the church services for a Tongan ward, whilst wearing the tongan traditional to other ward functions (it would prove interesting to see the reaction to have your husband/brother/son go to AWANA or whatever LDS have during the week dressed in one of those wrap around and bare chested). That is if they want traditional Tongan attire?

On the otherhand, if you are not Tongan, it would seem that it would be most appropriate to respect their customs that they have, whatever that is, in their ward or area. Something that drives foreigners totally crazy are pompous americans who come in and dress, act, and behave like Americans with no regard to the customs of other locations.

I have been guilty of that in other nations, speaking of myself, and though it can be funny to see them go into convulsive compunctious fits, it's also very disrespectful of them and their people.

If you are Tongan, and know traditional dress and culture, perhaps point that out to the bishop's wife and have a quiet little argument in private with her. Meanwhile, if those bare chested fellows and woman in shoulderless dresses for their dance are traditional, perhaps go in traditional dress or whatever the traditions dictate for Tongan culture?

I don't care if this girl is from Timbuktu. There's NOTHING that makes that condescending, self-righteous, email ok. Sister Bishop is so full of herself that she should be in the bathroom with her finger down her own throat.

The uber self absorbed morons presume these people need guidance and instruction in everything from how to dress in extreme heat, to how to be humble. If anything, they're corrupting the perfectly fine culture of Tonga. If the mormons would get over themselves, they would find they have a LOT to learn from the people of the islands.

I've never met kinder or more humble people than I did in Tonga. I could have cared less what they were wearing. The people I met exuded love, acceptance, and humility. I was embarrassed to be a mormon from the States.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2016 01:19AM by madalice.

I once spent some time in Rarotonga. The mormon kids put on a show for the local hotel. The guys wore sarongs. The girls wore coconut shell bras and either sarongs or grass skirts. They were fabulous. This was a dance performance, but they were mormons.

Later on I saw some of the kids in town. The girls were wearing short shorts and tank tops. The boys were wearing pretty much the same. So was everyone else in town.

It's hot and humid there. I was TBM at the time, and didn't wear G's or anything like unto them. I wore my swim suit and a sarong with flip flops the entire time I was there. If i'd went to church, I probably would have put on a top with sleeves, and a sarong with flip flops.

The bishop's wife wants to blame her so called loving message on the Togan culture? Disgusting.

It wouldn't occur to anyone to say that if they were minding their own business.

Sister Bishop does not look very Tongan, could be she is so righteous her skin became white.

Well I am from Viking descent so I take offence at your objection to my battle axe and sword.

Just setting the rules for our Tamed Tongan brothers and sisters, since they need guidance and teaching to act like white and delightsom mormons.

I wouldn't be so sure. She signed her admonishment "Sister Pakalani". There's a Christopher Pakalani that's a Tongan bishop in Provo.

I think a Tongan sister would have had that discussion in person, if at all. Uppity self righteous Sister Bishop's Wife(TM) may get can of asswhoop opened on her by the Tongan sisters.

She is easily found--and she works for LDS philanthropy..surprise, surprise!

I like her even less. Give us your money islanders. The Church needs it.

Put on a pair of jammies - full length flannel. Thick fluffy slippers. No hair combing or makeup. Take a teddy bear. Bathrobe if it's cold. Scriptures in one hand. Tell the nazi you're just trying to be humble like Jesus and not draw nasty thoughts your way. Tell her how grateful you are for her pointing out what a slut you are. Almost forgot. Work out for three days, but don't shower or brush your teeth. Wear the same workout clothes every day. Hug her several times during the 3 hours speaking right in her face. Should help.

What a sanctimonious, self-righteous phony. Must have taken lessons from my ex, but it's such a common moron trait that it could have come from anywhere. Most likely her anal retentive mother. It's genetic. It's sad and pathetic.

Perhaps a question to ask is, 'did Jesus visit you to instruct your Pharasiacle piousness. Hey your phylactery is getting so huge and is slipping over your right eye. Have you noticed the gray skunk stain down your hair part? Time to phony up and get it dyed again. I only say this because I love you, dear bigshits wife.'

Her and sister Bednar

....... Why are not these holy women leading the way in eliminating the exposure of nasty female form by having their breasts surgically removed, especially since they are past child bearing years, and only wearing burkas in public, its the least they could do considering how they feel about the disgust of female form.

Wow! Re: the person who wrote that self righteous letter
Is there any way she could be a bigger bitch? On Halloween she will not have to buy a costume. She already has a broom and a pointy hat. She is treating this young lady as if she wore pasties and a g string instead of a sleeveless top.
"Ward mom" my big ol' ass!

Dear Sister Bishop:

I am not responsible for other people's thoughts or comfort.

Right???? I think this is one of the more damaging things the culture teaches to girls. ' you have no right to do as you please. It's up to you to make sure everyone else - especially those poor helpless boys - are happy/comfortable. '

Makes me angry.

I think that I'd go for the slightly less elegant...

Dear Sister Bishop,

Fuck off.

Hey guys/gals, she is just practicing being a 10 cow wife..

the phrase "Mind Your Own Business" isn't found in LDS scripture, so Mormons have Free Reign on this sort of conduct.

just sayin'

Oddly enough. "Mind your business" was the church motto under Brigham Young.

I often quote Oprah...."If someone has a problem with me, it's THEIR problem and not mine."

The comment about gender differences makes me wonder if this girl was wearing a sleeveless blouse with dress pants or something similar.

So? There is NO excuse for this. Period. If she is wearing pants then she is probably an investigator and therefore may not own nor know that she isn't supposed to wear pants.

But again, so?

I mean a really scantily-clad photo. Her husband posts the same type of photos making references to her "hot" body.

Why such blatant disconnect from Mormon standards?

Tout your temple marriage one day. Proudly, publicly parade your (mostly) naked self the next. What am I not getting here?

Nude isn't Lewd.

"...Making Others Feel Uncomfortable (with the way you dress [or address others]) is JUST AS IMPORTANT".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2016 03:14PM by moremany.

The TONGANS made me do this.

It's not church policy, my husband's position, my personal beliefs, imaginations or preferences, or directions or inspiration from above.

It's from below: The devil wants you to dress like that, and/ or STAY HOME! In fact, he told me to say this: you suck!

I HATE YOU - but doesn't it look like - I Love You? You're sick! LDS gives intrusion power to the least useful in the community - those at the top.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2016 03:11PM by moremany.

That is quite the opposite of an experience I had a couple weeks ago when I attended church with my wife.

After the sacrament meeting, I was approached by a member of the stake high council who was visiting the ward. He started chatting me up as though I was either new to the ward or visiting, as he was.

I explained that I was not a member and that I was just tagging along with my wife to keep her company. He nodded at his own confusion and explained that he naturally assumed I was a member since I was an unfamiliar middle-aged man dressed in a dark suit, white shirt, and tie, so I must have been new to the ward/stake; otherwise, our paths would have no doubt crossed in various priesthood meetings.

He complimented me on passing for Mormon, and said that as a non-member I really could just show up in jeans if I wanted. Just then my wife walked up and I made introductions. I then said, "Brother So-and-So was just telling me that I could wear jeans if I wanted." My wife's simple response was, "Yeah, no."

I said you looked like a TBM but could have slacked off since you're not a member? What a silly vapid discussion of nothingness.

I would think the TSCC would be happy to have anyone come - regardless of dress. Isn't Church the place for the sick - like those in need of sleeves ;-).

Maybe speak out (or call the authorities) if someone attended only wearing only a thong, otherwise beggars can't be choosers...and the leaders and missionaries should be begging for Sac. Mtg attendance.

My city of 370,000 has a university and a college

If the bishops wife walked up Richmond Street Friday or Saturday night at 2am, when the bars close, she would have heart failure

Just sayin.

I would love to have witnessed her telling my mom or her close friends in the ward how dress. All were fashionistas (before that was a thing) and liked to show off a bit. Mom would have put her in her place.

RB

What makes me crazy is that the woman who wrote this honestly believes she is doing a good thing. One of my pet peeves about Mormonism is that it teaches people that bad behavior is actually good, righteous behavior. Mormons can't see why people don't like them when they mean well - but their values are so twisted by the church that they can't even see why what they are doing is wrong.

+1000

Toward the end of the text: "...making others feel uncomfortable with the way you dress is just as important." I understand what she means, but she actually wrote the opposite! My answer would be, "Done and done! Thank you!"

What a self-righteous b|+(h. I'd love to see the date of the first part of the message! The message sent Sunday evening really clinches the story: sent the girl an awful, judgmental, shaming text; girl does not come back to church!

"We missed you." Right. You miss having someone to look down upon so you can feel good about yourself.

I hate this woman. It is UNacceptable! She is shaming the young woman and then trying to make it the young woman's fault if she feels sad or offended. What a bunch of crap.

Using the modesty standards of 1830, Rewrite the letter as a letter to her. Explain what kind of woman she would be revealing herself to be in her sunday attire in 1830 and what a negative effect she is having on the others.

Standards of "true" modesty should be historical age independent. I hear fig leaves were initially the preferred Sunday attire.

If i'd of received that, this would have been my reply:

Dear Sister Bishop,
Thank you for all of the phony condescending compliments.

I think it's amazing that you think the way I dress makes the YM uncomfortable. If they felt that way last week, I can't wait until I see them again. There's nothing I enjoy more than making men a bit uncomfortable by dressing in a way that makes me happy.

May they think about me in their dreams, because that's the most connection they'll ever have to me.

Love, the ward slut.

P.S. Your frumpy outfits and big clunky shoes make me uncomfortable. I think it's sad that you think so little of yourself that you have to wear a canvas tent everywhere you go. And your lingerie selection! Those long johns have got to miserable here in Tonga.


Just an added note. The average temp. in Tonga is 91 with very high humidity. The short cool season may average around 75º, also with high humidity. The bishops wife is probably just another Utah mormon trying to control people they know nothing about. She's probably jealous that this person isn't swathed in nylon underwear from her neck to her knees. God forbid someone dresses according to the temp. and weather.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2016 09:23PM by madalice.

This looked like a Facebook message that was sent to the individual and shared. It was private until it was shared, probably unexpectedly.
I can't imagine anyone wanting to return after receiving that message.

It makes me wonder why any grown woman would take orders and criticism from another grown women . ? why? That is sick .