Sorry. I red some stuff on this site, then i read the CS letter. I still believe the prophet but I don't know what to do now.
I think I was lied to...

You certainly were. That was brave of you to read.

If you don't mind, give us some of your back story. It would be great to help you out, but I would, personally, need to overcome my skepticism after your last entry. :)

I don't want to post my name, but im 14. I am a Miami in the ward and the 2 counselor in YW. My dad is a bishop.
I have a aunt who left the church. I am the 2 oldest in my family. I have 2 younger brothers.
I promise I am real.
I can see now why you thought I was fake. It was a dumb thing I did to post.

I don't always thing things trough.

I don't have good grammar because my daddy won't help my homework. I do what I can to study on my own but I do nt have the time. I think my mom is taking too medicine because she is depressed. She is always dazed when I get home from school. She doesn't clean or anything and my old brother is on a mission so it's just me taking care of my brothers so I don't have a lot of time to study.

I meant I am a miamaid

Of Escaping Polygamy where two sisters from the FLDS escape. One clearly still believes that Warren Jeffs is the prophet and is imprisoned wrongly.

http://www.aetv.com/shows/escaping-polygamy

When you start to marvel at how they are so brainwashed, that's how we see a lot of people still trapped in the mainstream Mormon cult.

Then read up on cognitive dissonance.

Keep reading and learning

Take your time, this is a journey. No one makes a fundamental shift quickly. Also (since I think you are young) keep in mind at all times the impacts on you and your family. Do not make a hasty decision that will jeopardize your future.

You need to process the information and draw the conclusions that work for you.

I do believe you were lied to, but the people telling the lie truly believe what they are saying. Just as you did when you came here the first time.

Yes, you were lied to, by people whom you had come to trust. That can be very painful. Almost all of us have been where you are now - confused and wondering "what now?"

You are to be complimented for your integrity and honesty in admitting and apologizing. There is no need for you to apologize to us - your previous posts were the product of your (involuntary) indoctrination. If any apology is necessary, it should be the apology to you by those who (perhaps even unwittingly) misled you.

In the last 20 years of my involvement with exmormons and mormons, I have seen many young people like you go through this same anguish after having loudly asserted that they "knew" the church was true, and having firmly borne their testimony, ultimately realizing that it was false.

My advice to you: take it slow. THINK about what you have now learned. Keep searching and examining the facts. The FACTS. Use your brain. Rely on your common sense. Do not be misled by your emotions (either into continuing to believe or into abandoning your religion).

Good luck!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2016 12:52PM by RPackham.

Perhaps it's time to shift your trust to yourself first? There is no point in being if you put all of your trust in something outside of yourself.

You can obey or you can explore. You can't be truly Mormon and do both. One brings growth, one inhibits true growth.

Please see being expected to get all your information from one approved source as a big red flag and then, trust yourself.

I want to get a username and join the site but I won't if people are mad at me. I understand of you don't want me here

Proudmormongirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I want to get a username and join the site but I
> won't if people are mad at me. I understand of you
> don't want me here

No one is mad at you...

...this site was created as a support site for "you"---and for everyone who is questioning...or is in the process of leaving (whether you are consciously aware of this or not)....or for anyone has any of the many questions, and problems, and dilemmas that this extraordinary group of disparate people has proven to be so good at helping with.

Pick a username...register...and make a brief post saying that you used to be "Proudmormongirl," and now you are "XXXXXXXXX."

What many of us find is that RfM can become like a second home, in the best sense of "home": supportive, caring, and helping.

Maybe this might be true for you, too.

:) :) :)

What you will get here is information to consider as you make your way to form your own opinions. And some, good humor once you find the funny side of all of this. You will always get a big round of opinions too instead of just being agreed with. We don't get all of our information from one approved source. We seem to like our truth "free-range,"-- if I may speak for others. Always think for a second about the ones you don't agree with before discarding them.

I hope you stay. I wish I had happened onto a place like this when I was young.

post away proud(soontobeX)mormongirl - ignore the haters; they only hate what the church has done to people they care about, they do not hate you. They may feel extreme dislike towards some things you write from time to time, but it's only directed at the words used, not you personally. Some of them were you and some of them wish they had been you.

Good luck with your exploration of mormon doctrinal history

About you're not getting enough help with homework. Is there some program for tutoring after school hours at your school? Or can you have a study buddy you can do homework with?

I don't know. I will see if there is but I don't know if I have the time. I just had my birthday so I am not in the 9th grade yet and my grades don't count. But they will next year and I need to catch up. I am working on my math grade because it is worse than my English grade. I need to figure something out before my grades start counting. My dad is the bishop and is gone a lot of the time. So I have to clean and cook and stiff for my brothers. I work on homework when I can.

Consider talking to a school counselor, honeybootsnsweater, formerly proudmormongirl. In middle school, things may seem very daunting, very bad, very unsolvable, but they aren't! You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a good sense of what needs to be worked on and improved. These problems did not arrive in a big hurry, and they aren't going to be solved that fast, either.

Start slow, and try and fix what is reasonably fixable in the short term. Like your room, if it's a mess. Clean up a little bit of it (or your school life or your home life) at a time. I'm using your room as an example; it could be neat as a pin for all I know.

You would start by making your bed every morning and organizing your desk. That gets a few things done: you sleep better, you can study in a more organized way, and you feel better about yourself. Then move on to something else that is do-able, like clothes on the floor. That means laundry, you get the point? One thing leads to another, and another...you start getting more control over more parts of your life.

Don't unload everything all at once with a counselor. Maybe you should concentrate right now on your math grades, then your English. (And yes, that needs work, but you know that.) As things begin to work out, see what you can do to be more helpful to your mother--she needs it.

One thing after another, little by little. You can (and I think, WILL!) get more done if you're patient and don't expect too much too soon.

Don't spend TOO much time on this board. You have to go to church, but listen with a careful ear about what makes sense and what doesn't. Try to avoid callings if you can--you've got a lot to handle. You'll learn lots more, in time, so don't get upset by being confused.

I would just like to say welcome and please share your thoughts and doubts....

Gatorman
3-1

I'm sorry, but I still have a fishy feeling about all this. Your answers keep making me skeptical. Skepticism is what led me to question the church, so forgive me. But I don't exactly have the best feeling about this yet (call it the holy ghost ha). If you're sincere, I sincerely welcome you. I guess time will tell.

I am sorry too. I dont really know what to say and I understand why you dont believe me. I dont think you are the only one. I dont think I would believe me either. A few days ago I tried to tell you that you were wrong and now I was the one that was wrong. So let me know if you have questions and I will do my best to answer. I am trying to think through and read through my posts better.

Just an observation - your writing skill has improved dramatically!

I am googling the words I am do not know or the ones that I have wrong to make sure I spell them right.

Elders Quorum Drop-out Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sorry, but I still have a fishy feeling about
> all this. Your answers keep making me skeptical.
> Skepticism is what led me to question the church,
> so forgive me. But I don't exactly have the best
> feeling about this yet.

I say give the poster the benefit of the doubt. Time will tell if honeybootsnsweater is a troll or not. Better to err on the side of being helpful, than not.

PS (on edit): I also suggest that we try to address her needs and problems rather than throw heavy posts about why LDS is wrong. At 14, she has plenty of time to learn more and make up her own mind. Let her remember that it was the ex-mos who helped her when the ward didn't.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2016 04:38PM by caffiend.

I agree, and plan on giving the benefit of the doubt. :)

And yes, milk before the meat.

OK, I'm going to say "real", and advise that two of the good things about Mormonism are self-discipline and getting people organized, so HBS, take a deep breath, get a game plan to help your mom and brother and settle in to homework. A few simple chores here and there and things will fall into place before you know it.

You mentioned two of the *bad* things that Mormonism creates: even though "It's all about family", your Mom is on anti-depressants and your dad is gone so much of the time helping other families that his own family is neglected. Where's the sense in that? 99% of the Mormons I knew/know are super-cool, but so are the Catholics, Episcopalians, Methodists, Jews, Wicca, non-religious and atheists I know. You've got real integrity even after you find the real truth about the history and doctrines of TSCC.

Keep us updated.

Proudmormongirl, always feel welcome here.

You haven't done anything wrong in coming here or questioning your beliefs.

What you are feeling is very normal. There is nothing wrong with anything you have said or are doing. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong or a bad person for reading the things that you have read.

Always remember this as you grow older. You have done nothing wrong and you are always welcome here.

We don't control your feelings.

Your parents don't control your feelings.

The church doesn't control your feelings.

You control your feelings.

Choose how you feel.

I am sorry but yes, you have been lied to. Just like I was lied to when I was about to get baptized and asked about the "rumors" of JS practicing polygamy or when I was told he translated by the power of god watching at the plates.
From then on, many good things happened but also I came to see a lot of bad things happening to good people. And the lies and cover ups kept coming. I am out now. Just take your time to digest everything. Continue studying and finding out by yourself all that is under the carpet and make your own decision. Remember you have no doubts, you are finding out about real facts.

Here's the thing, honeyboots, if you are sincere, it is ME who is sorry. All are welcome here, especially sincere doubters.

I know I didn't want to be hurt by a mormon, and some mormons come here to do just that. I'll take you at your word, and offer my deepest apologies.



I have a couple of suggestions for you - I agree with tackling one area at a time, like your room. Also, if you are being used as "the mom" in looking after your younger siblings, like I was, it can be helpful to act like it. Set a firm bedtime when the have to get ready for bed, then a strict bedtime. It will free up your evening time to feed them and settle them down early. Put a schedule on the fridge.

I'm not saying it's right or okay when you should be building your own future, but if you're stuck with it, might as well organize it so you can have some time to yourself.

You can also ask homework questions about stuff you don't understand - just put "homework question" in the subject line, because there are some real experts on this board. Either they will answer or not, but doesn't cost anything to ask.

There are other tricks for getting through chores more quickly, too. For example, something like a table full of clothes that need to be folded and put away -

Say you have 3 little bothers, so you get 3 candy bars, onr big and two smaller. You all fold clothes, and whichever brother folded the biggest stack gets the big candy bar (or whatever - gets to stay up an extra half hour).

Others will have better ideas for time managememt.

The point is, even moms can work, have kids, and still get an education. You are very young for this role, but your immediate goal is FREE TIME TO STUDY. Get the chores knocked out and the kids to bed. If your parents made you the boss, then BE THE BOSS.

Even your brothers will thank you. Again, I'm sorry, too, and sorry you are so crushed for time.

Sorry to say it but i think your drowning here if things are as bad as you say...ive seen children in care with less family issues than your dealing with...and care can be a dam good thing for a fourteen year old trying to be mommy to siblings...or dad whose so gone hed rather be bishop than dad...this is the damage...say its about family then keep dad out of the house for hours...say its about family then make people feel so hopeless they withdraw into addictions or just withdraw...if its as bad as you say...you need help girl and not just encouragement here...guidance counsellor or phone your aunt...what your dealing with is asking way too much of a young person...some of us have been there...ive been there...its no way to waste what should be fun years of your life...i hope your just bsing us...cuz this brings back an awful lot of bad mojo for me...call your aunt NOW!!