My brother in on his Stake's High Council and from time to time we discuss the issues that his Stake is facing in these times of the Internet. His Stake President is concerned about member retention and reactivation and has made it a point to spend every High Council meeting asking for ideas and solutions to the growing membership problem.

This past meeting one of the High Counselors had a brilliant idea. Why don't we make the Counselors in the Elders Quorum and RS Presidency teach all of the lessons and free up the Presidents of the EQ and RS to conduct couple PPI's during class. Here's how it would work. After opening exercises the EQP and RSP would leave their classes and use a vacant classroom to conduct their interviews. If they spent 10 minutes with a couple they could conduct 4-5 PPI/interviews every Sunday. The members would know that the Presidents liked them and after a few months of the interviews the whole Ward would be a happier, closer Ward. They could branch out and the EQP and RSP could travel together during the week and conduct interviews at the less-active members homes and after a few more months the less-actives would know how much the Ward liked them and they would have to come back to church because of their new friends. The Wards' activity rates would skyrocket and everyone would have new friends.

He then bore his testimony that he knew that his program was inspired because he'd prayed about it and received a confirmation to his prayer.

The SP opened the floor for comments and one HC said, "Well, it beats what we are doing now. We can at least try it and see what happens."

So those of you in my brother's Stake can look forward to monthly couple PPI's with your EQP and RSP with your spouse. And all of you less-actives can look forward to PPI's in your home. This inspired program is guaranteed to increase activity and show everyone how friendly the leaders are.

Another inspired program brought to you by the COJCOLDS.

Stupid Cult.

The stupidity of this idea is truly amazing. Hound the inactive members,ask them ridiculous questions and lay on the guilt trip about all the things they should be doing.

Yeah, that ought to do the trick. LOL

...the leaders weren't really inspired at all. It started on my mission, when the previous totally inspired program (accompanied by many testimonies of how it was direct from the Lord and would work miraculously) was ditched in favor of the next totally inspired program (accompanied by many testimonies of how it was direct from the Lord and would work miraculously). Even as the latest, greatest thing was being introduced, ignorant 20-year-old me would be thinking, "Huh? How's this supposed to do any good? What planet are they on?"

An example: The MP got on a big The Book of Mormon Is the Key to Conversion kick. Get investigators to read the BoM and The Spirit® will testify its truthfulness unto them blah blah blah. I had only a couple of months left and was feeling my oats, so I dared speak up. "President, very few of our investigators can read."

"Um... well... uh... Just having the BoM in their homes will cause the Holy Ghost to touch their hearts."

Another totally inspired program (accompanied by many testimonies of how it was direct from the Lord and would work miraculously) involved the then-new idea of splits with members.

"President, Elder ___________ and I are the only members of the church within a hundred-mile radius of our area. The closest others are Elders __________ and ___________."

"Um... well... uh... We'll discuss your case afterwards." Which he didn't, of course.

Of course, when the totally inspired programs failed, the missionaries were always blamed, never the stupidity of the programs.

Nothing like having a stranger show up at your door asking personal questions to bring you closer to Jeebus.

One thing I learned from HTing was that generally the inactives where NOT happy to see us, and that was BEFORE we opened our mouths. I didn't really enjoy going out and annoying people.

Take TSCC which is invasive into members' lives (and drives people away) and attempt to get people to come back by being even more intrusive.

It makes no sense.

about what their ideas are like on the receiving end.
One would think that somebody would point out the fact that members are not interested in interviews!

But they can go right ahead and work this program, and I'll make a prediction that their retention and activity rate will go DOWN DOWN DOWN as a direct result of meddling in other people's lives!!

Looks like the high council and stake presidency search for insight by shoving their heads farther up their arses.

The answer is there! Just shove deeper!

If this wonderful plan fails it's only because the EQP and the RSP didn't have the faith to see it through.

Exactly, and why doesn't the GDF HC as well as the SP and ward BP's get off their GDF butts and go out and conduct these PPI's themselves? Instead of passing off the actual WORK/TIME of this inspired plan on others? These inspired leaders love to come up will all their BS plans, but isn't it amazing how they always avoid ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING...GDF CULT!!!

What is a PPI?
And I thought it was forbidden for a man and woman to ride in a car together. So, why are they saying the EQP and RSP should go together on the visits monthly? We all know they'll end up having an affair! ;)

The idea is that everyone gets interviewed on a regular basis to make sure no one is thinking for themselves.

Once the,"Women who need Jobs" society decided I was a deviant member and took their, "concerns" to the Bishop, Richard, Bishop Dick called me in to do PPIs. Lots of PPIs. It was really confusing, I kind of wondered what was going on.

I found out later. A single woman had convinced herself that my association with nonmembers was a sign of worthiness, "issues."

Guess what happened as they pressed the matter further (up their asses)? That's right! You win cookies! It pissed me off! First, I had done nothing wrong. Second, what the hell right do you have to ask about my details of family life over and over and over? Get to the damn point and say whatever I got accused of. Enough with the probing, this is not a rectal exam (or is it?). There has been enough, "in ass" experience to go around with just the bishoprick you can leave me out of it.

Oh and let me confront my accuser, you know, like Democracies do.

This idea is going to work really well, at driving borderlines right the fuck out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2011 01:21AM by The Man in Black.

The PPI is just one of the many things that members hate about the church. Yeah, have more of them, that will help.

The leaders really refuse to face the obvious. The church is irrelevant. It has a sordid past and is out of touch with the world. So they offer more tired solutions that have been shown not to work. More guilt.

I seem to recall that every priesthood holder was told never to miss a priesthood mtg. So why should this EQP be able to go out of a mtg and encourage others to do the same?

Here goes another change.

Will the morg ever stay the same.

I didn't even know EQPs and RSPs ever did interviews. It's bad enough you're expected to tell the bish all your bidness.

When I was EQP I hated doing PPIs and the people I interviewed hated them too. And we usually only got the more active people since we did them after the 3 hour block on sundays. I was shocked at how much people opened up to us about "sins" and other things in their lives during the PPIs. The TBM members saw me as someone with authority I guess as the EQP. Made me very uncomfortable.

This is just a terrible idea. More interviews, that's all that's needed to bring back the less actives.

Down the road, thedrive, if your brother tells you how this "inspired counsel" turned out in practice, be sure to let us know!

Oh, they love me! They really love me!

What a wonderful, divine church...

What a great way to turn people off the church even more! Gosh, if they turned up on my doorstep, I'd tell them to get lost. Chances are they'd probably turn up without warning too, which would just piss me off even more. Inspired of the Lord? What a load of crap.

Honestly, they need to get over themselves. It seems like the SP and his crowd think more people will come play with them if Mormons make those people feel more wanted and welcome. The only problem is, Mormons don't realize they are the grubby kid on the playground that none of the other kids really want to play with. That kid can be as pushy as he wants to be but he'll still be the kid no one wants to play with. He's not doing anyone a favor by trying to make other kids feel "friendshipped" - it's a burden to put up with him. This whole line of thinking by the SP follows the idea that people will feel lucky to have more Mormon friends, with no clue that people are snubbing Mormon friends in favor of a better class of people.

Arrogant!

If it fails to re-activate a lot of people, it will prove that the plan was not "of God" according to D&C 3:1-3, which says only the "works of men" will fail, not God's!

Mormonism. Stupid cult!

and revamping of their sermons to be less boring and more relatable.

In a promotion test they asked a variant of this question. the question was, "What would best improve unit cohesiveness and foster goodwill between unit members?"

Out of four possible answers, two of them were, "Have the unit sponsor a picnic and fun day with members and their families," and, "Have a reveille ceremony at the base flag pole."

The OBVIOUS answer, probably written by some Mormon somewhere, was the latter. I encountered that question anytime I took a promotion exam because it endured on the test for years. No one I knew could ever figure out how a 6am flag-raising ceremony could be better than a picnic with the families.

Like most acronyms, there are two meanings. For church members, a PPI is a Personal Priesthood Interview. In the real world, PPI is the Producer Price Index. Then there's D&C, and we all know that has two meanings.

The EQP and RSP spend so much time together visiting all the 'less actives' that they decide they have fallen in love and the lard really wants them to be together? Wonder what his inspiration will tell him then!

PPI- is that personal progress interviews??? I am a nevermo.

Lordy be....what in the world would a couple want to sit through that for? And it is to make you feel more loved?

They are going to do interviews during class??? At church??? And this will make the inactives (who by definition, are not at church) more active?

Sure them gold plates is real....why not!

I know the few times I attended the LDS church, one of the gentleman who is "high counsel" walked all the way across room and shook my hand and stated "Hi, great to see you" The irony, I'd been there app. 6 or 7 times, already.

Proton pump inhibitor

that people are gonna LIKE these idiots.

My ex was EQP, when he was beating me. People sure wouldn't like to let that thug into their house.

Again, Mormons are off the track as to what is good and what is bad. An interrogation is bad.

I love the comment about the family picnic.

Why don't they have a mingle between meetings, like other churches do? Why don't they allow talking in the halls? Why don't they allow people to sit with their friends? Why don't they allow families to go to the same ward, instead of the ward in their boundaries? Why do they separate the young singles from the others?

I used to be popular, and friendly in California, but since moving to Utah as a divorced working mother, I was never invited over to any Mormon's home, unless it was church mandated: a musical rehearsal or performance, a planning meeting, a RS activity, Christmas parties for the Primary teachers, or church book club. Only two fellow single women ever said to me, "Let's go to a movie" or "come over for a visit." My children were the ones being hustled all the time I was being marginalized. On their birthdays, each of my children had to go for ice cream, alone, one-on-one with their Primary teacher. They dreaded this, and said it was "awkward." They would rather be with their friends, and get ready for their birthday parties that day. Another stupid idea, to further push people away.

This is narcissism in its group form:

To cheer these people up, they need to have more time with US!

Why don't they offer some real help and support? Because they don't even know what that sounds like. This hustling and sucking is all they 've ever known.

When you love people, you try to lighten their burden. They could offer to suspend tithing for people who are unemployed. They could offer transportation to people without cars or disabled people. They could have dances and potlucks at church so people could meet some social needs at church.

The organization no longer feels it needs to meet any needs of the members and has gradually removed everything that once made it attractive. And this is the natural consequence.

It's called free agency.


Anagrammy

what mormonism must understand,and should know by now people like when your being sincere and when you tell them the truth.

people can tell when you really care about them and when you want to use them for your gain or agenda.

this is insane it is like the mormon cult is saying we will keep treating the lds member like crap and garbage,and still expect them to conform or return.

never ever never ever will mormons who have left ever return to such madness and lies and deception.

freedom sure is sweet and beautiful.

the so called new plan is really the old plan.

which means it has already failed before it even got started,because it is about integrity and character and having high morals,and most lds leaders have none of these values.

their too busy being on a power trip.

people want to be loved and able to think for them selves.

These mindless mormons think they are in charge of people who don't care to attend the mormon church, as in "we have to 'activate' them, or FORCE them to bend to our will."

That doesn't work when the activity is considered optional in a free society.

The ONLY way is to "attract" people into church by making it a valuable and enriching experience. Better music, better programs, more interesting activities, better classes, and more sincere interaction would be helpful. Also, it might be nice if the material taught weren't a pack of lies.

Today's inactives are unlike yesteryear's.

There are few inactives actually, because
once MIA - mormons are 'already out of the cult for good'.

Thanks to the internet. And RFM!

No amount of cajouling by unimpressive Moronic
priesthood is going to bring ex cult members back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2011 10:55AM by joho.

They're going to get an earful. This spells nothing but more folks here on RfM.