Posted by:
snowball
(
)
Date: October 03, 2016 12:22PM
I have been listening to some of their video about the "dreaded single adults" a wonderful phrase some of you will remember from a wonderful poster named Deenie. That is interesting, because it was the timeframe that my testimony waxed, waned, and was buried. I went on a mission at 19 full of gusto, attended BYU, at the end of my BYU time I started to have serious doubts (23-24), was fully inactive by 26, and resigned at 27.
They have some weird and probably flawed assumptions about their young people:
1) The young adults are lazy. The attitude seems to be: "Back in my day we ran the church, did our exams, and raised the kids etc. Why don't they do that now?" Well you could point to any number of things. The role of women in society is different--they have exams and jobs too, and can't just do home and church. The traffic is worse in many places that ticks away time. There's less support for university students (looking at the U.S. context). Public funding for universities has gone down--more time working to pay back loans and/or cover current expenses with work (that often pays less for low-skill jobs adding to the stress and time involved). I also think the missionary program is an impediment to launching a life and career.
I agree with fudley that the economic class disconnect between the leaders and the led is quite evident. The leaders in the videos don't see these challenges as much first hand in their own families, because some of these challenges are diminished for wealthy people.
Everything is a moral judgement and condemnation for these guys! They just want you to be like the horse in Animal Farm--always pushing harder. You don't get any empathy from these pigs either.
2) The young adults leave because they are not involved with the LDS church. Or maybe they are not involved with the church because it is not relevant to their life and most of all not true. The rising generation are finding that out online as teenagers now.
3) If only they would marry. Married or single the LDS Church still is not what it claims to be. Marriage only might make the exit cost higher if one's spouse does not want to understand why a someone wants to leave.
4) Packer is right! OMG, I said it. Okay, just maybe not in the way he was thinking about it. They are ignoring the family's role. As one of the recent Mormon Stories podcast series (650-52) shows, sometimes mom and dad are leaving too.
5) Young adults are under their parents jurisdiction until they marry. This gem was also from BKP. That's why they treat singles like children. A 35 year old single person, regardless of their accomplishment is less an adult in their minds than an 18 year old who just got married in the temple.
The solution, in their minds, seems to be that if only we have the young adults more involved and keep them in the structured program like when they were teenagers. Maybe if we could get their parents more involved. Maybe if we could just get them to marry sooner. More interviews. More responsibility. Ugh...control, control, control!
Reflecting on my personal experience (and maybe I'm abnormal), I think that if anything I was involved to the point of quitting. That high level of engagement in the LDS Church contributed to my questioning, and my decision to leave. I think after 2 years of a mission, and 3 years at BYU wards in many high commitment callings, I was burnt out. Additional involvement in the church's mission was the last thing that would have kept me active.
When the questions I'd been nursing on the shelf since my teenage years, the useless guilt over not being married, and the new questions arising from my college studies collided. I really felt like if I wanted to continue to devote this kind of effort to this organization, I would have to resolve my doubts--one way or the other.
Good luck with those plans "Brethren"