Sorry, I need to rant for a minute. I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown.

I've tried college and failed horribly, mostly due to my own stupid choices of taking out student loans and trying to go into majors that I couldn't do.

Tbh, I never really planned on making it past high school anyway, so when I made it to graduation, I had no idea what to do. I went to a ridiculously expensive school to major in a subject I didn't even care about. And then I failed my classes year after year because I barely had the willpower to get out of bed. Some days, I just slept all day.

I wanted to be in the sciences, but lacked the ability to do math no matter how hard I tried or how many tutors I got. I've failed so many semesters and now I'm close to $20,000 in debt with no degree in sight.(I've switched majors too many times. Now I'm years off-track for graduation). Every time I try to start over, I fall into the same habits.

I'm really close to calling it quits. I see no point in going on with huge amounts of debt for classes that I keep failing when I'm years away from completing any type of major.I wish I could start over. I've completely screwed up my future.

You wanted to be in the sciences, but you didn't care about your major?
What science major did you pick, if I may ask?

And yeah, math is a big part of most of the sciences. If you're really not math-capable, most of the sciences probably aren't for you. At least not at a college degree level.

My suggestion: take a deep breath. Relax. You haven't screwed up your future...heck, I wasted two years, when I could have been in college, on a stupid mormon mission, and I managed to finish. You can, too.

Just take the time to really figure out what you WANT to do, what you LOVE to do, and if you are CAPABLE of doing it (and all it entails). You have lots of options. And if a full-on degree isn't for you, look at getting into some "lower" levels of the science you're into, ones that don't require a full degree, like being a lab tech (still pretty good money).

Rant away. Then relax and figure things out, plot out a reasonable course for yourself, with goals you really can achieve, and a plan to achieve them.

If you want to give a bit more detail on what sciences you like, I might be able to offer some suggestions.

Hi, thanks for your reply. My passion has always been astronomy, but it's the most unattainable for me because of all of the math.

You bring up a good point about lab technicians and areas like that. That would definitely be good to look into.

What on earth (no pun intended, haha) do astronomers do? The only thing I come up with is Aerospace Engineer, or Rocket Science. Those are both tough fields. You say you like Science, but the thing about math is that most engineering is up to about a 1050 level and a couple of calculus equations occasionally. Your not having to write proofs or get into Abstract Algebra. Calculus I can be tough and Calculus II is tough. After that it gets very easy, all the complex ideas are right there. Linear Algebra and Differential Equations isn't too hard, Its' basically the same formula over and over and over again just different numbers.

I'm not a scientist but I would think the Engineering classes are what bites. Math requirements are a piece of cake. Engineering takes an average person 7 years of full time misery.

If your emotional health is deteriorated I would start looking for work in industry or a factory. And start paying back some of the loans. Remember that $20,000 isn't the end of the world, lots of us have done things similar. It was an investment and sometimes investments don't pay out like we planned. Wishing you the best.

Also remember how the game is played in College (saddly most don't know how things run, and what academia actually expects). The science classes are designed to be too damned hard, so the professor gives two tests a term. The professor has already planned what kinds of grades he's going to give. They use the Bell curve to distribute what's that going to be. Strive for Average. Which is a B or B-. This means you showed up to every class, took notes, did everything asked of you. Asked questions. Finished every assignment and did your best. They won't/can't flunk you if you do that. The dean will be after their ass if they do. So don't worry too too much, come finals.

I'm going to make a suggestion, which may or may not work for you, but it's based on lots of experience :)

I have a home observatory, and do astrophotography as a "serious hobby." I also used to be a docent at Palomar Observatory, because I love astronomy and doing tours for people there is a blast (having a new baby led me to suspend being a docent for the past couple of years).

The guy who was the public affairs director at the observatory for many years (recently retired) set up the docent program 16 years ago, which is how I met him. He didn't have an astronomy degree, he didn't even go to CalTech (which operates the observatory). He has a journalism degree, but like me (and, I suspect, you) has always loved astronomy. The job he got working as a writer/journalist/PR advocate for the observatory was his dream job. He did public outreach and tours, wrote the press releases and did interviews about what the observatory was doing (turning the scientists' technical jargon into readable copy), and lived on the mountain most of the time.

So consider an angle like that...are you good at writing? Go to the community college and take some journalism/public relations classes. Keep your interest in astronomy. There are lots of jobs in science writing and public relations for observatories, NASA, JPL, etc. Or science writing for print/web companies. Your knowledge of astronomy will be a big boost, even if the math to do the science is a bit much for you.

That's just one example. There are ways you can be involved in astronomy without doing the actual science. If you find something like the above appealing, or think of other areas that would suit you, follow your passion and go for it.

I considered being an astronomer when I started college, too...but I also loved computers, and the job market seemed better, so I did BS degrees in computer science and electrical engineering, and an MS in Mathematics (don't mean to rub that in!). It's worked out well, and I still get to indulge my love for astronomy as a hobby and as a volunteer at the observatory.

Good luck!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2016 09:33AM by ificouldhietokolob.

No you haven't screwed up your future. Now is the time to be exploring what you want to be doing, and ruling out what isn't a fit for you.

So you don't do well in math? Join the club! I didn't either.

I majored in Liberal Arts with a focus on Political Science and International Relations that didn't involve any math requirements, and a minimum of science.

I waited until I was 22 to start college because it took me five years to decide to enroll. I kept procrastinating during those five years, and working whatever jobs I could find until I went to college.

College isn't for everyone. There's so many other things you could do that don't require a college degree.

Consider a vocational degree in something you might like doing.

Plumbers and electricians for example, make lots more money hand over fist, than many college grads do.

One of my cousins went through four years of college to earn a degree in Latin. And what has he done since, for the past 40 years? Drive a taxi cab. He loves what he does for a living, not because it was his first choice, but because it suited his personality.

Look at life as a journey rather than a destination. It isn't easy to get through schooling or find a niche that is right for you. If college isn't for you though, that may be what this past several years is telling you. Or at least not right now. Maybe you need to be on a different trajectory than college.

((((Hugs))))

You have the option of military. You can pick a job that interests you and will have a civilian side application and they will pay off your student debt. It's a great way and you aren't sctewed.

I've known several people who are in your same situation. The problem being that they were told they could DO ANYTHING! Yeah, the big American lie. I could break my neck year after year and nothing would have made me capable of being an athlete of any kind. It wouldn't have mattered how much money was thrown at it, I would never be an athletic champion. Signing up to do that would have landed me in a mental hospital.

Be realistic about your talents, passion, finances, time,and energy. Start from there. You're still relatively young and have time. You can fix this, but you must want to fix it. Your future has to be top priority. That means putting everything you have into it. No more skipping classes, partying, not studying, etc. You have to have an attitude of "no matter what it takes". When you get that, you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Everything, and I mean everything else has to go on the back burner until you accomplish this. You have to find your passion.

I went to school to be a Dental Hygienist. I'm terrible at Math and Science, but I pushed my way through what I had to do. The Hygienist motto is: I don't study Calculus, I remove it.

I still had to take Life Science, Algebra and Chemistry for two semesters. I tutored these subjects because that was the only way I could know them like the back of my hand.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2016 10:26PM by madalice.

Try a community college, a general major and just a couple classes at a time while you work. If you get a job, it will motivate you to go to school at night or whatever and you can pay as you go.


Try looking at the book What Color is My Parachute (most libraries have one that isn't too outdated). Maybe you are looking in the wrong place for your passion. Maybe you need maturity.

Maybe you have not really connected to anything you have studied. For me, it was microbiology that was my ah-ha class. I didn't even know it existed when I took my first micro class. Take a variety of classes that give you exposure to all kinds of areas. Maybe you can find a general studies major or something that isn't heavily dependent on math.

Good luck and remember that every failure teaches you something that didn't work. Keep optimistic. There is a niche for you. You just have to stumble into it maybe

You can stop going to college now, do something else, and go back later if and when you are more focused and prepared. Work and save money, or travel, or do something else. There is no point in paying for an education from which you are not benefiting. There's no shame in admitting that you tried it, it wasn't for you right now, and now it's time to try something else for a while. Life is about figuring things out as you go, not about getting it all right because you had all the answers from the start.

There's a whole world of stuff you have never even heard of. Do some exploring and figure out what works for you.

Community college is a good idea. Right before I left the church I transferred from BYU to community college and it's pretty manageable to work throughout the year, depending on your classes. This quarter I don't have a job but I'm taking 19 units, and it still feels pretty relaxed.

There are some sciences that don't require too much math. I'm an environmental science major and the only math class I need to take is biostatistics. Depending on which area of environmental science you focus on it can involve lots of legislation or mathematics, but it doesn't have to.

You sound pretty depressed, so looking into some psych counseling is probably a good idea. Most colleges have free sessions for students.

I like the military option. Some of us, me included, can't 'learn' discipline, but we can be taught it, if you get my drift.

The future is malleable!

BF received his earth sciences degree and is a geologist for the BoR. He, of course, had to put in the work to get to that position (including being a concrete monkey for a few years) but hard work and education were the key to his success.

There are plenty of science fields that you can look into at the tech level. If you want to go further in a field, you have that option, too, and sometimes employers will pay for it.

Astronomy is a tough one. Getting a degree and doing something with it other than teaching requires a LOT of schooling, plus a specialized sort of intelligence. (I'm not saying you are dumb,just that it can be difficult and rare to get in that field and make a living without being Neil deGrasse Tyson or Neil Armstrong or Carl Sagan or Sally Ride).

Look into your options, people have given you some decent ones here. Sometimes intelligence is not enough nor are hard-work and determination.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2016 10:52PM by Itzpapalotl.

If you do stop going to college (I don't like the word "quit"), you can look at the debt as "finding out money." You'll know that you tried and you won't have any regrets about not trying. There are lots of careers that don't require college. Stay positive.

>>I went to a ridiculously expensive school to major in a subject I didn't even care about. And then I failed my classes year after year because I barely had the willpower to get out of bed. Some days, I just slept all day.

Usually if you are failing that badly, the school kicks you out. Something is not right with this picture.

Definitely take a breather from your current studies. It's not working out for you. You might try asking your professors or the career counseling office at your school for suggestions for types of work to which you would best be suited.

There seems to be this romantic ideal that work should be something that you love to do. For some this is the case, but for many people, a career represents a balance of various factors. I would aim for something achievable and reasonably satisfying.

You sound depressed!

Before you quit college, change schools!

Especially if you are at a Mormon-run school.

I went to BYU, and enjoyed the skiing and the social life, but something about Provo depressed me. The BYU classes and teachers didn't inspire me. Being new at college, I thought it was my fault. You are taking blame, too. I plugged along, but no one subject interested me enough for me to major in. The fiancee of a dorm-mate tried to rape me by the mail boxes, and broke my arm. My assigned roommate stole money, jewelry, and clothes from me (she later confessed, but what she took was priceless.)

Then, on a whim, I decided to be roommates with my best friend at the University of Utah. What a difference that made! I got straight A's, because the classes held my interest, and and I went on to graduate school.

Try a change of scenery--it can change your life!

Maybe you aren't the "specialist" type. I was interested in many things, and found business to be a very broad and creative field of interest. When you're working with people, you are never bored. A variety of situations arise, and you need to be creative--and educated--to solve real-life problems. Business requires a working knowledge of finance, psychology, simple math and statistics, history, sometimes a foreign language, culture, travel, lots of teaching skills, humor, patience, etc. Try it!

I love astronomy, too, and it is my passion, as a hobby. Music is only a hobby, too. You can still do all the things you love, even if you don't major in them.

Please, get out of wherever you are now, that's bringing you down. Go to a junior college. Get a temporary job.

It's not the end of the world if you lose a semester's credits. It's not the end if you lose credits when you transfer out. Do whatever it takes to restore your hope and happiness.

The future belongs to you, and it's constantly changing.

You CAN start over!

Life's too short to waste doing something that makes you miserable. College isn't for everyone. There are plenty of options out there that don't require college. Figure out what you really enjoy. If you dread getting out of bed in the morning, you need to find something else to do. It's your life. Enjoy it.

Check with an advisor at the local community college, see if they can craft a major for an associate's degree using the credits you already have. That piece of paper can open doors for a job that pays the bills. Then pursue your passion, as a hobby. Maybe something good will come from all this.

"Everybody should/must go to college" is a myth that has been perpetrated over the last 5 decades. College administration costs are at an all-time high and so are college administrators salaries. Who runs mosts these colleges? Governments. Is it any surprise that you continue to hear the drumbeat that every kid should go to college, and pay the tuition.

Hey, guess what, the local coffee shop owner thinks every young kid should pledge to buy a cup of coffee everyday for the rest of his life, too. Get it?

The "everybody should go to college" line isn't about what's best for YOU, its about what's best for colleges.

There are TONS of fulfilling and/or well-paying jobs out there that don't require a college degree.

I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life. I don't know you. You'll need to make the best decision for you. For me personally, I liked college, I'm a numbers nerd. But just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it'll work for you.

A vocal advocate for non-college careers is Mike Rowe. If you want more information you can check out his foundation that gives scholarships for trade schools where people learn valuable skills. I'd strongly suggest you listen to some of his interviews and speeches. He's got a unique perspective and he's in-touch with the non-college crowd. Maybe you'll find you like it. Maybe you won't. Either way, you'll have more information to base your decisions on.

profoundlydisconnected.com

mikerowe.com/category/blog/mikeroweworks/

Lately he's been talking a lot about the massive need for welders and large equipment mechanics. Some of these jobs are paying 100k+ after 2 years of work. (I can attest to that as I'm personally familiar with a company that was paying 100k+ to diesel mechanics). But hey, maybe that's not something you would enjoy, its up to you to decide what's best for you. I just want you to know there are other options.

Life isn't all about your career. You aren't your job. Find a balance of what you like and what supports you. If you find fulfilment in your career- great! But guess what, most people don't. That's why its called "work". And if you turn out to be one of us that works for a paycheck, not fulfilment- well, that' fine too. It just means you'll need to find fulfilment OUTSIDE of your career- what you do at home, your hobbies, your community, volunteer work, passions, friends, etc.

You're still young. You can change paths at any time in your life. I have a friend that started dental school at age 45.

May you find peace and happiness

As the mother of a young woman who has learned to deal with depression, I would suggest that you hook up with a good therapist to help you work through your depression.

Clinical depression is a real thing. Your description of what you have been growing through is a classic depiction of what depression feels like and looks like. A good therapist can help you with medication, if appropriate.

S/he can help you to address negative thought paths that spiral downward and weaken your ability to take part in your own life and make decisions.

In addition, don't obsess too much about lost opportunity. It is not really lost because you are learning about yourself. It took me 10 years at 4 different colleges with lots of screw-ups and good times, too, but I graduated with 2 majors, a career I loved, and a good life.

Best wishes to you on your journey!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/14/2016 01:21PM by bordergirl.

"I've tried college and failed horribly, mostly due to my own stupid choices of taking out student loans and trying to go into majors that I couldn't do."

In my opinion, every American high school student should be given a copy of this during their sophomore year:

http://college.usatoday.com/2015/08/20/report-federal-aid-rising-tuition/

"Federal Reserve report finds link between increased federal aid, rising tuition"

Also:

https://fee.org/articles/student-loan-subsidies-cause-almost-all-of-the-increase-in-tuition/

Of course, the federal government doesn't want high school students to know this information, because the government itself is the cause of the problem.

If I were you, I'd consider cutting my losses, consider it a lesson learned, and go for a degree or certification in either a computer-related field or health care. Alternately, go into a trade or get into some kind of sales/service job.

My oldest daughter got a full-ride scholarship to study theater in 2001. My wife and I were all for it. Our plan was for her to just get a degree in something, it didn't matter what field. That was back in the day when common wisdom was to just get a bachelor's degree, and you could get a good job. She got her degree, and worked in several low-paying theater jobs for a few years, but she didn't make much money. So she decided to go to another school to be a pastry chef (?!?) It was a one-year course that cost her $11,000. She never got a job in that field. But at least while she was in that school, she met her husband. His degree is in building science. When the recession started, he was laid off, and he bummed around doing different things. About two years ago, he finally got back into his field, and is now making decent money. He's 36 and my daughter is 33. It will still take them years to pay off all their student debt.

A suggestion would be that if you're going to take out anymore loans, take enough out to go through a good trade program for a year. Then you may be able to at least get a job that you can support yourself on, even if not t the degree you hope to be able to later in life.

Then you can take a class or two at a time online, at a local college etc., and keep working on a degree that you would rather have. Tuition assistance is one of the fastest growing benefits offered by companies. I know, I work in benefits law for my company and see many benefits newsletters everyday. And I'm always having our operating companies calling me and asking if they can do this or that with tuition assistance because they desperately need people for positions that really don't require much education, but they can recruit better people if they get ones who are trying to get through college on the side.