It has been 4 years since I told the church to go fuck itself. Man it feels good to be free. You wanna know when I knew I was truly free?? When I stopped coming to the recovery board. It took a long time but I seriously have no desire anymore to even think how bad the church is. No offense to anyone. But wow does life get more interesting when you stop thinking about Joseph Smith's lies. Seriously. Think about what I am saying. I tried to trick myself and act like I didn't care but I would find myself lurking and reading and reading and confirming what a fucking piece of shit manipulator he was. Every now and again (like tonight) I think of all the time the church stole from my youth and young adulthood. Glorious years I could have been exploring the world in a much more meaningful way but I will never get that time back. I go years without even thinking about it so I think I am entitled one bitch session every now and then. Anyway, where ever you are at in your journey, it can get better. Trust me I have lived it. The wife had me staring at the abyss of divorce then she saw the light (the true light not that fake shit they teach you in Morglandia). I know I was lucky. The church deserves derision and scorn. How many lives have they ruined with their bullshit stories and dogma? If only I would have figured out the riddle earlier. Till the day I die I will NEVER forget the moment it dawned on me...truly a Matrix moment. ..seeing all the 0s and 1s for what the church truly is.

If you want, I can tell you several other areas of your life that are BS. Probably doesn't pay to be angry at each discovery, or your life will be ruined.

For example, I bet you think your wife loves you for who you are. Haha. Take a job for a quarter your current salary and see how that goes. Return and report.

I haven't been on this board in over 4 years. I was so proud of myself for moving past mormonism. I considered myself some sort of zen master. However, I just moved to a densely populated mormon area, and here I am. Back with a vengeance, and angrier than hell. So, good luck with all that.

One thing you know about this board is that there are people here who understand how you feel. I come and go but am always attracted back by the honesty and humour found here. Like others, I have my favourite posters and often laugh out loud when I read their posts. I hope you stay for a while.

I love this place.

I LOVE it here too for SO many reasons!

If you pull up one of the archived posts, you may see board members from long ago. Many do eventually move on. It is expected. Some come back at a time of stress. And some hang around to continue recovery and/or to help the newcomers.

I'm glad that things are going well for you. :)

I agree, it is great here, I could not have made it this far without this board. You all know the BIC, mission, priesthood, temple marriage etc, and then the realization of the fraud. We are very much tied together. weird.

I am impressed. I wonder what the moment was and how other, like my now, ex boyfriend, can get to that moment. ???
Clearly, I see it but did not grow up with it.
I am thrilled you got out and are happy........enjoyed your post.
Butterfly.

I come and go from the board too.

I have a summer job and a winter job, and I have more time during the summer to look into the board and see what's happening.

I believe I am "recovered" from the initial shock/grief/anger/etc part of learning the truth about mormonism. I am also an abuse survivor, and often, the damage done by the church and the abuse are interweaved. As my life plays out, issues come up every now and again that need addressing. It's not something I feel the need to see a shrink about, as I have seen many over the years, and am pretty much done with that. The RfM is great because I can come here and vent, hear what I need to hear, get advise, and come away feeling better. To outside people (including my doctor) I call the RfM my support group, because it really is.

For example, my mom passed away this year, and I came here to get support, as a lot of issues surfaced with her passing. It was great to come here and cry, be heard, and be reassured that I'm on the best track for me.

Also, this is my "reality TV". I come here to see what's going on with the church, because not much of it hits the main stream news here, and I still want to hear all the dirt. I rejoice every time there's a set-back for them, and so happy to hear how congregations are dwindling, how big wigs in church are having to answer for this-or-that scandal, how prominent members are losing their testimonies and leaving. I know that sounds kind of un-christ-like, but hey, I'm not a christian anymore, so...

I also come here to try to help people who are just learning what I learned about the church 20 years ago. It really sucks to have the rug pulled out from under you, to find out everything you have based your life on is a lie. I hope by sharing my story that I can help ease some of that anger and frustration.

Anyway that's my take on it. I imagine I will come to the RfM on and off for the rest of my life. I hope it will always be here. applesauce

Realizing the church was a lie was the most beautiful moment of my life. It made everything that has happened since possible. I like to draw from the whole Mormon experience rather than suppress it. I can obsess from time to time and other times it never crosses my mind.

The trick for me is to use past experience rather than let it use me.

Being ExMo is a unique perspective that few have.

This is my escape from work when I need one. I got off fb because of the insanity of the election, so I'm back here reading more as a break.

I know mormonism will always have an impact in my life. How could it not?

I only get angry now and then about the lds church, like when my tbm daughter is around more often. I also live in mormondom. My life has pretty much come full circle. I'm rather pleased at how my life has turned out despite the mess it became.

I find this place interesting. Reading here doesn't make me angry. To me, it is more of a feeling of "these people get it."

I like hearing from those who have moved on. I think I'm recovered but the folks here have such great insights. I love reading the posts that help young people who are having such a hard time from family for not believing. Those people need our support.

I also have ongoing troubles with narcissists in my family and have learned that Mormonism attracts these people. The insights I've gained from others who have had to deal with narcissists are a tremendous help for me.

Thanks everyone. I don't need you as much as I like you all!

The TBM lurkers are a hoot. I feel sorry for them but still...their comments show just how clueless they are.

I moved on or so I thought and then found this site and it allowed me to vent like I had not before. I now checkin every so often just to keep up and my mind clear about why I left. It's been twenty very good years without the LDS hovering over my every move.