A TBM died today at the hospital. He had a stroke and was taken to the hospital where he was kept alive. The doctors removed life support and he died a couple of days later. None of his TBM family members came to the hospital. None of them. I just learned his TBM family is not giving him a funeral service. His body is being sent to the graveyard and no service.

Is it the money?

The money, and they are all just so busy?

That's a super-big crap sandwich of TBM hypocrisy, right there. I hope his TBM family doesn't expect him to send them all birthday cards from the Celestial Kingdom.

And when they all meet up again---awkward!!

(By the way, how DOES one send birthday cards from the Celestial Kingdom? I bet snail mail takes forever. Probably better to just send an Amazon gift card or maybe say happy birthday on their Celestial Facebook page?)

When I die I plan to have my corpse fed to wild jaguars (I live not far from the Amazon jungle). But I wouldn't mind a stone something or other back in the family plot in Pennsylvania. Maybe I could get one of those marble boys pissing, like they have in water fountains? Have him piss on my tombstone for eternity. I'm pretty sure my surviving friends and relatives would fall all over themselves paying for that.

Fed to wild jaguars, eh ? Better choose someone to make sure you're really dead before that goes ahead.

I'm sorry, Master, I know he was your friend. (((HUGS)))

We don't know the full story so it's difficult to judge but I can't help feeling that every human deserves to have his/her life acknowledged.

Family could be out of state. The guy could have been horrible to them. There's a lot of what ifs. Really hard to know without knowing more.

sad

I learned long ago that families handle grief in different ways. Not every family holds a funeral or memorial service when a loved one passes. I elected not to have a funeral nor memorial service for my mom when she died because at her age, she had few surviving friends, and those who were at a distance would not have been able to travel. Plus, in all honesty, I just didn't feel up to planning a service. It doesn't mean that I didn't love her very much. I had been her primary caregiver at the end of her life. I was having a difficult enough time coping as it was.

We had her remains cremated, and held a private burial at a time of our choosing.

I would not judge people for the decisions they make when a loved one passes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2016 11:06AM by summer.

Did the deceased even want a funeral? I don't. I don't even want the burial. I've left instructions to that effect. Some friends going out to dinner and hoisting a pint works for me.

That's so terrible. I wonder what the reason was, unless he was adamant against his family and friends seeing him in a certain condition, they should of taken some time out of their days to visit him. They're never going to see him again .
( No CK comments). As far as a funeral, he could have it in his will that he wanted no funeral.
He could of also disowned his family , or they knew he didn't have much money.
Sad that no one came to see him, a person shouldn't have to go that way , hopefully he had compassionate nurses and doctors

Knowing of a similar situation I would say that there is more to this story. I think it best to let lay. We probably do not want to know the details. May he now RIP.

Also, two of my high school friends who took their own lives, were simply put in the ground. No service or acknowledgement of their lives. One was an RM the other attending BYU at 18 (before he was suppose to go on a mission). More to tell but it makes me too sad to even write about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2016 12:49PM by dejavue.

I also think it's possible that the family lives out of state, and couldn't afford to visit him in the hospital. It's also possible they couldn't afford a funeral or memorial service, or that they knew the deceased didn't want those things. It's also possible that he was so awful to his family that they don't even want to deal with funeral or cremation arrangements.

In a way, I'm surprised he's going to be buried, as in many areas, unclaimed bodies are cremated because it's less expensive and it takes up less land to bury cremains. Outside of Utah, burials are done because the families pay for it, or the deceased bought the plot years earlier and paid for everything.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2016 07:57PM by adoylelb.

You can bury cremains. I was surprised to discover that my mother left directions that her body be cremated. Since she was a born-and-raised Catholic, I had expected that she would not want that. Her cremains were buried alongside my father.

It was interesting to see the cemetery where we had laid my father to rest back in the early 70s. It had looked rather new and raw back then. In the intervening years the trees had matured beautifully, and it was a lovely resting place beside a river. I am considering being buried there myself.

I will probably get blasted for this but here goes anyway. It would not be possible for me to care less whether or not a funeral service is thrown for me when I go.
A funeral is for the living and not for the dead. The dead are somewhere else if anywhere at all.
A funeral is so the living can sit around and lie about how much they cared for the stretched out corpse.
On the other hand if someone wants to throw a wake and everybody get drunk and have a blast I have no objection to that .

I won't blast you.

What do with do with the corn cob once all the kernels are gone?

That would work for me for dead bodies... In and of themselves, dead bodies are worthless. Medical science can find uses for them and their kin can revere them, but those empty husks are, in and of themselves, a bother.

They should be gathered up and turned into fertilizer.




(I love the outrage!)

I have found, from experience, that some people do not want anyone to know when they are dying, don't want anyone at the hospital and don't want any services. That is their choice. I'm fine with their decisions.