Posted by:
BYU Boner
(
)
Date: November 16, 2016 07:19PM
"Howdy Bishop Burr!"
"Howdy yourself, Boner! It's been a couple of weeks since I saw you, how's the work on exterminating the nasty vile habit coming along?"
"The nasty vile habit is no more bishop!"
(Bishop Burr's eyebrows raise, he pats his mustache)
"fascinating, Boner, tell me more..."
"It's no more, Bishop! No more Hallmark Channel movies, ever!"
"fascinating..."
"Yep, I quit the movies, yessir!"
"Fascinating..."
(The Boner starts getting wiggley)
"No more movies, Bishop, I promise! Not one! No more Walker's shortbread cookies and milk, ether! I promise!"
(Pause....more wiggles...)
So, how's the other issue coming along, Boner?"
"Other issue?"
"The OTHER issue..."
"What other issue, Bishop?"
"The issue of your issue, Boner..."
"The issue of YOUR issue, Bishop?"
"Don't get smart with me, Boner! The issue of YOUR issue!"
"Oh, THAT issue...it's not a problem! No sir!"
"Fascinating, Boner...you quit issuing an issue, huh?"
"There's no issue from that issue, sir..."
"Fascinating...and here I thought maybe you were polishing the banister, strangling the chicken, bopping your bologna, shining the bishop's mitre...you know what I'm asking, Boner."
"Are you asking me if I MASTURBATE BISHOP,"
"No, I am not able to ask you if you masturbate...do you?"
"Oh bishop! I confess, I jack off while watching Hallmark movies! Have mercy on me."
"Go and issue no more, Boner."
"Is that all? Bishop Burr? Are you okay? You didn't cuss at me once."
"Well, Boner, I've received some sensitivity training recently from the stake president."
"Really, Bishop?"
"Yes, Boner. I've learned to say that's fascinating rather than you're a goddam fucking liar."
(Sigh)
"Okay, Bishop, I'll go buy the beer..."
"Damn straight, Boner. And remember the shortbread. There's a movie starting in about 30 minutes. We can wrap this up and go over to my place to watch it!"
"Fuck yeah, Bishop!"
"No, Boner, remember to say, fascinating."