So, I'm in a couple of online/in person support groups for women trying to conceive. Just so happens that many of the other women are young and Mormon (I'm in my 20s but I mean YOUNG young), which I thought wouldn't matter because we're not talking religion.

So the other day, one woman posted something about her feeling 'betrayed' by her husband masturbating (it's suggested for men to do this to improve their sperm count, and for women to do it as well to improve other aspects of fertility) and asking if we felt jealous when our spouses did. To my shock, almost EVERY Mormon woman said yes, of course, that is 100% cheating and they'd divorce a man for masturbating. The less religious women all said no, that's ridiculous unless it takes away from your own sex life or becomes an obsession.

Lest you call this a gendered thing, I asked most of the angriest women (again pretty much all TBM) if their husband said no to THEM masturbating, thinking of course their husbands wouldn't mind. Again to my surprise, they all said either 'yes of course, he would never allow me to do that' or something along the lines of 'no women masturbate.' One girl actually said that her husband said that any woman who uses a vibrator is a 'slut.'

I was honestly surprised and disturbed. I thought this was a very rare feeling among married couples, even Mormons. How can they make babies at all when they don't understand their own sexuality, set up a situation where they have to lie to each other and they and their husbands feel constant shame, and when female sexuality is totally discarded? Have these women never had an orgasm? Do they not even understand how?

I don't know. But I definitely blame the church.

Sex is devilishly dirty and you should always bathe away the iniquity after you succumb to your base desires. Scrub hard!!

The first time my wife and I were "together" before we married, I had her "scent" on me and could smell it. It was wonderful. I didn't wash for a day or more so I could keep it with me.

HA! Thank you for reminding me why I am thrilled not to be dating a TBM anymore. The most unhealthy sick view of sex and the body. NEVER AGAIN. Go be strong, empowered, healthy. Making shame of the human body makes me ill. Why would anyone want to be part of such oppression?! The Church is evil.
Go lick cupcakes and get away from the little factory idea.....
be free.......and do not share your bedroom with the people of the church that get off on it...

Of course women masturbate! I was in the bishops's office continually from age 13 to 21 confessing and confessing and confessing, certain that I was broken, perverted and bizarre as a female with a (actually pretty normal) sex drive. I was just too naive to know that everyone else lied about it.

I thought so too! I had no idea everybody was just lying!

You post makes me wonder how many of those "angry women" have ever had an orgasm -- either with their spouses or by masturbating...?
I'm betting it's very few.
So sad. :(

I know, right? :( Do they even know women can have them?

I'm not that surprised that there is a great deal of discomfort with the idea of masturbation among these young Mormons--I believe it still is considered a significant transgression that may require confession. However, that divorce from a masturbator would be considered, is just plain sad. Cool Jesus said it best: "Let he who is without sin cast the first sperm."

Just think how good sex feels.

Then think about doing it rarely yet fairly quickly (sometimes with garments on) when you *do* do it, and always thinking about "the church" while doing it. Then, when you feel the urge, you almost always have to sublimate.


That's not f&*king, that's mind-f&*king!

I like to watch.

That sex is something you give into or receive rather than two people engaging in it, does it really surprise you all that much how they think about masturbation? Or don't know that women have the only organ solely for pleasure?

I've read in various religious blogs how "masturbation is one of the most selfish acts out there." Yeah. For reals.

It's no wonder so many marriages deal with sexual incompatibility like this:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1904597,1904597,quote=1

Hijacking someone's normal sexual development is one of the cruelest, damaging acts, not masturbation. I feel sorry for these women and anyone else with sexual hang-ups or misconceptions. They are missing out.

Can you imagine what it's like for these women (probably men, too). All their young lives they hear how sex is next to murder in the eyes of God and that masturbation is wrong, wrong, wrong. And then they find themselves married and their confounded bodies betray them and actually like it. The mindf*ck. The morg infantilizes its members especially when it comes to sexual development. I feel so badly for them if they haven't had an orgasm or if they have and hate themselves for it.

Or they don't like it because they don't know how to make it good or are numb/paralyzed with fear...! It must cause such a freakout.

Both partners need to get off...whenever they need too.

RB

I was married to a asexual TBM wife that would of divorced me in a "twinkling of an eye" if she knew I masturbated.

A a tip to other men in the same situation yoked to an wife that thinks sex is dirty, filthy and unnecessary... do it in the shower and just replenish the conditioner you use as lube to not have her get suspicious and call the bishop.

you're welcome-

I tried my hardest to hide the fact that occasionally the monkey got his little bottom spanked. And I don't know how my wife "discovered" the fact, but I was in a heap-O-trouble. It wasn't like I ate the last of the Praline's & Cream ice cream, this was some serious shit. She sat me down as "we have to talk" and I knew I was toast but didn't know why at the moment.

She told me that she knew what I was doing and wanted me to confirm her suspicions. I still didn't know, there could have been 12 different things, and she was fishing for a confession. I played dumb as a deacon and tried to compliment her on how good dinner was. Nope, she was determined and I couldn't squirm one inch either way.

I learned at an early age to lie my ass off to save it. I applied everything I had learned, but she was relentless. It was her who said the "M" word first, quickly followed by the mention of the bishop. She said my ears turned red first, then when I started looking at the floor she knew her answer. I felt like left over sacrament bread, totally worthless now.

I don't remember exactly how it ended, but the bishop wasn't invoked and I had to make some promises that I knew I could never keep. There was more temple attendances, scripture reading, nightly prayers, and a growing list of household chores that seemed to become my responsibility.

The serious nature of operating The Little Factory without a crew was made very evident to me. I was told that this was not going to happen ever again, ever. Even though I was the President, I had to answer to a shareholder who was not to be trifled with.

I'm not going to say if the "M" word ever happened again, but lets leave it at, Yeah, it happened again and again, too many to count. But, I was more careful about it.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2016 09:36PM by sunbeep.