Posted by:
ex SIL
(
)
Date: November 29, 2016 07:49PM
Amyjo, I agree with your assessment of the situation. It seems that her illness has painted you as "the enemy," and there's no convincing mental illness that it's wrong. I would guess that having been a very prominent figure during development, its damaging view focused on you as a convenient target.
Watching my SIL, who also had BPD, scheme, harrass, go from loving friend to lifetime enemy in the space of a mispoken word, self-medicating, the list goes on, I'm here to tell you that reality doesn't matter to your daughter. Whatever it is that goes on on a BPD brain, it has nothing to do with what you did or didn't do or say, in the past, present or future. The illness drives, not the person you once knew as your daughter.
You could throw your last dollar into the bottomless pit of the illness' need, and it will not help her to heal. You would then be blamed for being penniless.
One of the most difficult aspects of BPD is how utterly "normal" sufferers can appear, even charming, to strangers. It is not until that first disagreement, that first slight, the one we hardly noticed, that the obsessions begin to show. We still expect them to "get over it," like normal folk do, but it never happens. Any "niceness" that follows is pure manipulation.
I'm so very sorry that you've lost her to this illness, and just want to offer my understanding as a comfort to you. Peace be upon you, Amyjo.