"Like a brass band," said Sir Thomas Beecham, "Out of doors and many miles away." That was a little harsh. But the brass band has its place, as do colonoscopies and Parker House rolls.
They all enter our lives and we may or may not deal well with them. Like Mormonism they might trigger nightmares that last for decades.
Let's let them run their course and look at it again in a few months.
BcE
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/29/2016 11:39PM by Bicentennial Ex.
I have no problem with O/T posts, and often enjoy them. They do build a sense of community. But they were starting to take over the board. I remember looking at the board and thinking that all of the O/T posts might really confuse a newcomer who is here looking for information about the church and support. They were literally half the board.
I think some posts that seem off topic do in fact relate to recovery. But posts about movies, TV shows, computers, recipes, etc. are clearly off topic.
I think for those board members who like to go O/T, maybe a goal of one O/T post per week would be reasonable. In my opinion, that would keep it manageable.
For me, those "off topic" posts remind me there *is* life after Mormonism, and adds levity to this site that would otherwise be missing.
Movies for instance, do in fact play a large role in recovery from Mormonism, and also the psychology that makes us human.
Movie icons likewise, such as the dysfunctional Mia Farrow and Frank Sinatra thread I had here a while back. With her Woody beau having near incestuous relations with his stepdaughter that led to their breakup, amidst allegations of child molestation by his other children. That ties in very much to dysfunction found in some Mormon households from polygamous families to the Ozzie and Harriet wannabes.
For me, many OT posts relate to 'recovery from Mormonism.'
The ones on planetary systems and the cosmos - hell that is Mormonism 101. How can you debunk Kolob without exploring outer space?!
;-)
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2016 05:55AM by Amyjo.
I would grant a lot more leeway to nubes, who may be questioning - everything, but what a headache for admins to watch. For those of us whom might find a different set of folks we respect and care for, with whom to consult / chat, maybe there are other options.
When an exmo asks this board about a colonoscopy, it's possible that there is no equivalent community in his life to whom he need not explain that there is pain in not trusting his abilities with the differences between belief and knowledge. That not asking, just going along with a different herd's advice, feels very similar to the cave of moism.
Is this a real thing, or is it a belief, depends on the herd one asks. You can find an abundance of answers online. Which thundering hooves are to be heard?
Yes, I hear a brass, even tinkling cymbals, but the sound does not come from the direction of a colonoscopy, or the tiny joys found in exmo celebratory leavened breads, having skipped one, a dozen, a hundred fasts.
Question everything. It's the very nature of healing.
I, for one, enjoy the occasional OT post. They help me get to know regular posters. I do appreciate it when OT posts are marked as such, but as a nevermo, I have less to recover from, other than my husband's ex daughters abandonment and former wife's abuse.
We are not stopping off topic posts!! This has become a community and I enjoy them too. We just want to reduce them a few percent. People here trust the advice or at least value the advice they receive here on off topic subjects due to a long time interaction with other posters. I don't wish for that to go away. Just trying to find a balance.
We just had a rough end to a drought here. I volunteer at a print music library with tunes dating back to the 1920's in Athens TN. I was just there working Monday and some of the buildings nearby it were destroyed last night in the tornado. Gatlinburg, 100 miles away, suffered greatly 2 nights ago. A bit tired this morning due to the weather. Did not get much sleep as the weather radio was going off every 45 minutes. Crazy weather.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2016 11:14AM by Eric K.
Eric K Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We just had a rough end to a drought here. I > volunteer at a print music library with tunes > dating back to the 1920's in Athens TN. I was > just there working Monday and some of the > buildings nearby it were destroyed last night in > the tornado. Gatlinburg, 100 miles away, suffered > greatly 2 nights ago. A bit tired this morning > due to the weather. Did not get much sleep as > the weather radio was going off every 45 minutes. > Crazy weather.
I'm glad you're okay! Northern Utah gets severe winds and we had a tornado touch down near Ogden a couple of months ago. The best resource in case of emergency is community. Thanks Eric for your gift of community for us. The Boner.
When 20% of the posts are O/T, then 20% of the on topic posts have been driven to page 2. Just not reading the O/T posts does't fix that. RFM has been in the 20% range more often than is reasonable lately.
This O/T issue has me offended. Yeppers, offended. To me (my opinion) the OP came across as a perfect example of a moron penis holder exerting control over the group. Off with their heads!
Part of leaving the cult church is the fact that you lose you family, friends, and community. Not always but at least 90% of the time.
When something is posted off topic that has nothing to do with Mormonism, in reality it does. We have lost our community and this board has always filled that void for me. It is that profound loss of community that drew me here, taught me how to resign, and how to heal afterwards.
Yes some are frivolous. Why not send an email or contact the posters with a kind reminder. We are all in different stages of healing.
I just skip over the posts that are frivolous. But if this board was a staunch controlling work of art that only addressed certain parts of Mormonism and not the underlying parts, I would still be a member of the church. There would be no difference between TSCC and this board.
I just found the original poster controlling, rigid, and so much like the men of TSCC. That is what I have spent years separating from.
Belief in Mormonism isn't just a believe in Joseph Smith and his atonement for all mankind. It is also impacts virtually every aspect of your life. From your underwear, to your choices of beverage, your diet, your political leanings, your education, your familial choices, and so forth.
I'm not sure that much is really o/t. The colonoscopy thread for example was littered with Mormon/ex Mormon thinking. Much of the way we are today is determined by who we were yesterday.
That said. The internet is massive, however it is very specific. There is only one place I know of that allows me to discuss Mormonism. I don't want to lose that to distractions.
The whole, "but you get ex-mo perspectives on things" argument is a lot like getting funding for some ridiculous pet project by adding "as it relates to global warming" at the end, even when it has nothing to with global warming.
Some O/T posts have their place on this forum. What ex-mo perspectives are you going to glean from a thread on King's Hawaiian rolls? Seems like unpaid advertising to me. (No offense, elderolddog :) )
I agree it would be silly to eliminate them altogether, but some of them are just so far out that a person investigating mormonism might think they clicked on the wrong link. Reducing them is a good idea.
Reducing, not eliminating.
I'd gladly trade all O/T posts for some more allowance on political topics, for example.
Thank you. Yes, there are some silly OT posts. It's called "don't click on them" if you hate them. But this is a community and we give each other a lot of support.
We've had posts about computer problems, health issues, food suggestions, shared good recipes, baby announcements, supporting others during times of grief, book/movie suggestions, and a bunch of other things. It's part of what makes this group feel like a unique community.
I also really like the very on-topic posts, learning things about mormonism and its history, even after all these years. I like to help people who are new and trying to navigate the waters of freedom from cultism but estrangement from friends and family.
The only posts that really bother me are the ones that attack another person. Unless it's an obvious mormon troll with too much time on their hands, we should meet people where they are.
I have no problem with off topic posts. I read some and ignore some. If they start to overwhelm the board in the future, we can deal with it. At the moment, I dont see a problem
People who have found their way, or are in the process of finding their way out of LDS, Inc. is a very small segment of all the people on the Internet.
Most all of us have lost a social environment that was comforting (as long as we paid, prayed and obeyed). We don't fit in very well in most groups, so being here is a rare place where we feel a part of a tribe.
It is very gratifying to be among others who share a common background and are trying to exist in a post-LDS world. I enjoy the O/T's (mostly), because we are a family of kindred souls trying to make our way and it's nice to feel like we can share our feelings and thoughts and not necessarily keep the conversation 'all business'.
This is a unique place and I'm glad I found y'all. It is reassuring to be among my people.
I like the OT posts, for all the positive reasons the pro-OT posters have.
Some of us (until now, I thought most of us) are sick of church-church-church. We have had to leave a lot behind, in order to recover. I lost vitrually ALL my Mormon neighbor friends, and half the friendships with my cousins. My TBM inlaws dis-inherited my husband and our children (their own son and grandchildren).
I would like to LOSE church-dominance, and move on with my life, unencumbered with that fanatic, narrow-minded focus that most Mormons strive to maintain. I am no longer "that." So many good things have been sacrificed, in order for us to become ex-Mormons. Maybe some of us want to focus on things other than Mormon-taught lies, and which lie was made-up when, and was it JS or Swedenberg or Oliver Cowdry--or how old and senile the GA's are becoming, etc.
--I need community! --I need understanding. --I need to laugh. --I want to know which movies are upliftin --Which books have some answers? --How do I deal with shunning, gossip, affinity fraud, Mormons dominating the workplace, Mormon family reunions, etc.? --Which new foods/new traditions can replace the old Mormon poineer standbys?
If we didn't collaborate and grow, we would all still be eating lard, and wearing ankle-length garments, and allowing the Mormons to intrude into our families and ruin our relationships.
I don't think any of this stuff is OT. We have been held hostage by threats and fear, and RFM can often help with that.
Most important, I need you people to answer my biggest question:
I think everypost should relate to mormonism or have the word mormonism somewhere in it, This site is about intellectual discovery, and emotional recovery. Otherwise posts could just as well be posted on 'the mormon house wife blog' or some other such site.