Mormons love touting how they view sexuality as a method for "loving procreation" and how Porn is Satan's favorite form of entertainment. How true is this? While many acknowledge the high rate of cheating among male spouses, yada yada yada, there is another different secret fetish happening among the Mormons. What could it be? If you guessed BDSM and other such things you are actually freakishly right. For those who don't know (all 2 of you) it stands for Bondage (typing people up, slavery play, etc.) Domination (One partner is the Dominant or in control one) Sadism (Loves to inflict pain) Masochism (Loves to receive pain).....Several female friends said their husbands bought them copies of E.L. James trilogy to learn from (?!?) They became submissives instantly, only to find out it spilled out from just the bedroom to all areas. Turning into the worst kind abuse ever, they aren't allowed to leave the house without their husband's (dom's) permission or reveal too much about any abuse....I went through this with an ex as well (we broke up thank God)...So why are so wholesome and pure Mormons practicing "deviant" sex? Control! I believe it was a just a stepping stone for the spouse to gain control over his "weaker" wife as his sick religion cult mix preaches. Thoughts?

You are incorrect that the Dom is in control. That's not the case at all. In fact, the Dom has a responsibility to honor the Sub's "hard limits;" this is why there are safe words. Safe words are used to stop the action in the event it gets too intense for the Sub. The Dom also has a responsibility to provide aftercare (cuddling, fetch a drink of water, whatever is needed). The Sub is the one who dictates these terms and what the limits of activity will be.

The E.L. James trilogy is horribly written and has been castigated by the B D S M community because the consent is a bit coercive and the usual safe, sane, and consensual agreements aren't really honored or stressed in the books. My theory is that E.L. James knows exactly dicksquat about this lifestyle and merely wrote up some of her or his own personal fantasies without having done any research whatsoever with the B D S M community to find out what standard best practices are.

Why are wholesome pure Mormons practicing deviant sex?

Well, how do you know they really are? How do you know? Even if they told you first-hand, that doesn't mean any mormon woman has enough life or sexual experience to even understand or know wtf she is doing in a B D S M context. And, as I pointed out, that book series is FICTION and possibly one of the worst "resources" one could consult if one wanted to explore that lifestyle.

If it's even true that these women's husbands all bought them this book (which I strongly doubt because we are talking about mormon men here, quite possibly the most uptight, sexually repressed, vanilla demographic I can think of), it was just a smokescreen to continue their domination, abuse, and control of their wives. If, in fact, anything in your post is factual at all. It's written like you heard some things third-hand and then made up a bunch of bullshit to go with it in your own head to make this post sound better. This ain't my first day on these boards.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2016 03:46PM by dogzilla.

How funny for you to pretend there are absolute rules for dom/sub couples, and that they all follow them.
No, really, absolutely hilarious :)

There are rules that most poeple follow. Maybe not all of them, but since when have "all" of any group followed the rules? Most people in the BDSM lifestyle understand that safety and consent are important. There's a huge difference between consenting to kinky behavior and being forced into something you don't want to do. The OP assumed the latter and I'm glad dogzilla presented the other side of the argument.

"Well, how do you know they really are? How do you know?"

How do you know they aren't? How do you?

Her mormon friends told her....why the immediate doubt?

Jeez, this post seems to have touched a nerve with you. No need to topple building and smash the subway trains dogzilla.

The immediate doubt is because I know mormon women. Very, very few will break out of their baked-in mental constraints to indulge in a novel that, by their standards, would be considered porn. So I don't trust the storyteller in this case.

Fair enough, thanks for replying. I get nothing but entertainment from this bulletin board, so trusting the veracity of a post doesn't really come into play for me.....it's more like....is it entertaining enough for me to jump in and play along, spout my opinion, poke a little fun, do a little wordplay, etc.

Yeah, I wasn't all upset, trying to smash subway trains or anything, I was simply trying to encourage people to think critically about what other people tell them. As Dr. House says, "Everybody lies."

I do use the board to offer opinion and advice now and then, not just for entertainment. Your post let me use a cool Godzilla metaphor with the toppling buildings and smashing trains stuff...so thanks for that and have a good day! :)

"Your post let me use a cool Godzilla metaphor with the toppling buildings and smashing trains stuff..."

But you left out the best part: the fire-breathing!

You guys can be so doggone funny!

:)

When I was in YW and asked what "deviant sex" meant, BDSM was the first thing that came to mind.

There really are rules in the BDSM culture about how scenes are supposed to play out. I mentioned it in the other thread, but responsible couples and whatevers in the culture practice safe, sane and consensual activities. 50 Shades is possibly the worst resource to learn anything about BDSM.

When hard lines are crossed and safe words ignored, it becomes abuse. Does everyone practice the SSC rule? No, there are abusive people in the scene, just as there are abusive people in every subculture. It is up to a responsible educated Dom to respect the limits of a Sub, whether it's his or her first scene or 100th. It's up to the Sub to screen out abusive Doms and refuse to play with them. Crossing the line once might be an accident, doing it a second time is a warning.

I strongly recommend people talk to people in the subculture and learn about it before making snap judgments. Not everyone in the scene likes the same kinds of activities and there's a whole lot of variety within the subculture.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2016 06:02PM by Itzpapalotl.

BDSM is not abuse. That said, there are many people who want to use BDSM to find vulnerable people to abuse. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them were members of the mormon church.

Others have already talked about how awful 50 shades is, so I won't even go there. Just know that as a member of the kink community (yes, I practice BDSM) I can vouch for the fact that most of the community sees that book as a laughingstock. The author knows nothing of the lifestyle and obviously didn't do her research.

I don't think the problem involves any kind of pornography or fetish or sexual lifestyle in and of itself. The church's teachings about sex are very repressive to most people's sex drive. Repressed people don't tend to respect the boundaries of others. Sexually repressed people tend to have the minds and social/sexual sophistication of children, with the bodies of adults to modivate their childish and truely boundry-violating behaviors. How can you teach healthy boundries to a person while agreeing to do an activity with them that has been taught to them as being dispicable, and in some cases, next to seriousness of sin, only to murder. Believers in Mormonism make the worst sexual partners under most circumstances. So how do you keep a mormon from drinking all of your beer when you take them fishing with you? Bring two of them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/01/2016 12:59AM by azsteve.

to mormons deviant sex is wearing plaid pajamas.

Cacao!

Ha!

I knew a few mormon women who were into bondage 25 years before 50 Shades fad. Not all mormons follow all of the rules all of the time. Stereotyping all mormon women as TBM Molly Mormons without brains, bodies and passions is a mistake.

I think that's true, but what also may be true:

1. Maybe 1-2 TBM women in a given ward would be willing to explore outside their preconceived brainwashed/baked in notions about what is okay sexually.

2. I sincerely doubt most mormon women would confess activity like that to anyone aside from their spouse. We all know how mormons rat each other out over the dumbest shit, like drinking coffee or whatever. You'd have to be really stupid to talk about something that could get you hauled into the bishop's office to some random at church.

3. Mormons think of sex as sacred, so I can't see just blabbing about whatever goes on in one's bedroom.

4. The OP really reads like one of those faith-promoting rumors, or just made-up gossip at best. "Well, all my girls in RS told me..."

Wrong! When they aren't around their husbands you will here very sex act they've done.....even when I didn't want.

My experience as a 30 years member of the Church (all as an adult - if that's relevant) was that the men never discussed our sex lives at all while if my wife's reports were consistent the sisters talked about sex frequently.

According to my wife, sisters could be broadly divided into two camps: prudes and liberated. The prudes expected the Church to reinforce their choices as prudes. Other sisters openly stated they would set their own standards about sexuality.

On many occasions my wife would come home after yet another of these conversations when a group of sisters would not agree with her that some sex acts were "against Church standards" - even for married couples. My wife expected other sisters to just fall into line with her interpretations for "a great sex life." They must never challenge her as a prude.

(Of course, the same applied to me within the home.)

Eventually I told her if she couldn't cope with what she was likely to learn from other sisters that she should stay out of these discussions.

The Mormon women I knew from my years as a young woman and then young adult were not "evenly divided." They were ALL prudish.

Maybe it's a generational divide. I'm from the bottom rung of the Baby Boomers. Perhaps the Generation X and Millenials are more experimental? My generation and the ones who came before, nope, nada.

Sex was for making babies, in the missionary position, with one mate for life. Negligees were given as wedding shower presents, and were temple garment "worthy."

Women didn't see it as being prudish from that era. It was viewed as "sacred." While we may have been sexually repressed, being monogamous and practicing safe sex is still nothing to snicker at IMHO.

IN 4 links to pics ~



wait ~ ¿ wut is thred about ? ~



¿ how is ziller going to explain this thred to his 15 year-old niece ? ~

¿ so ~ putting a collar on a chick b 4 you have sexy times with her is ok then ?

It started out as Twilight fanfiction. Very poorly written.

So might there be tale tell markings; even visible for Mormon Victorian era standards?

Restraint marks on wrists and ankles might be hard to hide.

Ok....

The first thing to note about consensual BDSM is that it is NOT about abuse (and never was).

The presence of the 'safeword mechanism' ensures that.

In fact, it has been rightly observed that the true locus of control rests with the submissive.

I haven't read the book myself, but as a BDSM practitioner (male subbie), I can attest that being a submissive does not mean you are open to any and all kinds of physical, sexual and/or mental abuse.

The keyword is 'consent'.

As for porn being Satan's favourite form of entertainment - he really needs to get out more :-)

OK how many Doms actually listen when you say the safe word over and over and over? 0....I don't get how you can't see that.......Don't defend it, it's crap and all about control and abuse. No offense Dogzilla but that's stupid to think it's a fine happy way to live. I bet you never had to wear the collar or be beaten so bad that you were forced to wear high cut shirts to hide scars and bruises from your family....

I have used my safeword 4 times in the three years we have been together: Each time, He has stopped what he was doing immediately, asked me what was wrong, and taken care of me. In fact, when I safeword, he will not continue any sort of BDSM activity until we've actually taken a real break, had a snack or a meal, and makes sure I really feel good, not just okay, about being physical again.

>>OK how many Doms actually listen when you say the safe word over and over and over?

You shouldn't have to use it over and over. Once and done! If not, walk away from that relationship. Someone who ignores pre-agreed upon limits does not have your best interest in mind. That person does not care about you and your needs.

Quartermass is one of the lucky ones, my ex doms were extremely abusive...I swear no Dom I've had the displeasure of meeting was ever consenting or when I did it was out of terror pure terror.

I have been in a collared BSDM relationship with the same man for almost 3 years. We spent a lot of time discussing limits, preferences, past experiences, wants, likes, dislikes, etc. before ever entering a bedroom. There are people in the lifestyle who use it as an excuse to harm others. This is no different than people who use internet dating, trolling bars, or other ways people meet to victimize people. I am so sorry to hear that you were harmed. That should NEVER happen to anyone!
FSOG is 50 shades of gross. Nothing about that book reflects the way the lifestyle SHOULD be practiced. It's a perfect text for what not to do!

Dogzilla, the OP was consistent with exmo doctrine, so I don't think you are allowed to question.

Haha. The joke is on the OP then. I don't GAF what I'm "allowed" to do. If I wanna question, I'm going to. :-D