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Posted by: FreeRose ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 08:51AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXlgs1rfybw


Hey, Y'all. Thousands of people are receiving visions of Christ coming in the clouds with his angels and trumpets playing. Also, of doom and gloom and martial law in our world. Please search Jesus coming rapture and watch videos. This is NOT about religion. This is about Jesus!

Watch the above video in it's entirety. Have Kleenex ready.

Love you my Brothers and Sisters in Christ!

FreeRose

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 08:56AM

LOOK BUSY !!!

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Posted by: jacob ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 11:37AM

I just clicked on the minimize button on my browser. I don't want Jesus seeing that I'm futzing around at work.

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Posted by: AmIDarkNow? ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 08:57AM

This is why I fear for the future of the human race.

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Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:09AM

He will need 3 years of tax returns, a utility bill and two forms of picture ID to prove who he is...

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:21AM

whatever....

RB

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Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:27AM

They've been saying that for over 2000 years now. You can even read it in the new testament, where the Apostles refer to their time as 'these last days'.... Whatever... it's all just cult-talk.

I hope he shows up soon though. He needs to explain to me why he allows cults like the mormon church to bring harm to people's lives in his name.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/06/2016 09:31AM by azsteve.

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Posted by: Puli ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:33PM

In one of the Gospels, Jesus says that some standing listening to him would not pass away until his return. Mormons turned it into a "trick answer" when Jesus supposedly allowed the Apostle John to live on without dying - everyone else thought they would see Jesus return during their lifetime. Since then, nearly every generation (and certainly every Mormon generation) thought and were taught they would be the select generation to usher in the age of Jesus' return.

Now, I understand the lack of evidence is not evidence that something doesn't exist; but at the same time, we need to wonder if we should center our lives on something that has been predicted as immanent for more than 2000 years especially when considering all the failed predicted dates of when the event would occur.

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Posted by: Xyandro ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 04:14PM

Don't fall for the apologetic lie "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence". Absence of evidence where evidence would be reasonable expected to be is INDEED evidence of absence.

"In some circumstances it can be safely assumed that if a certain event had occurred, evidence of it could be discovered by qualified investigators. In such circumstances it is perfectly reasonable to take the absence of proof of its occurrence as positive proof of its non-occurrence."
— Copi, Introduction to Logic (1953), p. 95

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Posted by: getbusylivin ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:39AM

Is He still doing the miracle-cure thingee? Because the toenail fungus on my right big toe is really unacceptable. I like to wear my sandals without socks but it pisses off my wife because my toenail is so disgusting.

It probably would take Jesus, like, five minutes at the most to cure my toenail fungus--it's not like I'm blind or something and need the whole megillah. Is there a sign-up sheet going around?

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Posted by: Exmoron ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 10:51AM

I had the same issue stemming from a botched toe nail procedure in Europe when on my mission. I finally had the nasty thing completely removed and the medicine they used to stop nail bed growth works. However, if Jesus would please make my original nail reappear - I would really appreciate. I too, like you and Jesus, wear sandals. As a fellow sandal wearer - Jesus will empathize with us.

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Posted by: getbusylivin ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 02:16PM

Maybe if we show up at His apartment at dinnertime, he'll wash our feet? That would probably take care of the problem.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 03:48PM

I'm not Jesus so it'll take me 10 minutes if you want that shit gone. Seriously.

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Posted by: michaelm (not logged in) ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:51AM

I don't believe in human sacrifice or ritual cannibalism, nor do I believe in the coming of zombies.

It would be amusing if He came and whipped ass on money changers in Mormon temples and cursed the prophet and apostles with a skin of blackness and destroyed the mall but I threw those kind of fantasies away when I discarded the Book of Mormon.

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Posted by: seekyr ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 06:44PM

you mean BLESSED them with a skin of blackness?

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Posted by: seekyr ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 06:49PM

We should be very worried about Jesus.
He's like the guy in the horror movie that says, "I'll be right back."

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Posted by: michaelm (not logged in) ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 07:35PM

I'm just going from the Book of Mormon.

2 Nephi 5:21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.

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Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:45PM

I like how you think. But pick a different color. Let him turn the prophet and apostles green. That way, we would all know to shun them for their false use of his name and authority, without any racism against anyone with white or black skin.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 10:18AM

"Jesus" is imaginary. He wasn't ever here in the first place, and he's not coming back.
Deal with it.
Start living your life for now, instead of desperately waiting for some imaginary "savior" to return and fix everything.
Seriously.

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Posted by: katrax ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 04:27PM

Buzzkill!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 08, 2016 11:47AM

Guilty as charged :)

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: December 08, 2016 10:06AM

I don't know, for about 2 months now, that antichrist thing has been making a lot of sense.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 10:46AM

I saw a bumper sticker once that read :

Jesus is coming soon and he is pissed!

Made me laugh.

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:55AM

> Jesus is coming soon and he is pissed!


Can't be - he only ever drank non-alcoholic wine :)

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Posted by: Darren Steers ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 11:22AM

I think the OP made a typo. They meant to say SANTA is coming very soon.

Easy mistake to make at this time of year.

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Posted by: quatermass2 ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:56AM

Darren Steers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think the OP made a typo. They meant to say
> SANTA is coming very soon.

Which always reminds me of the old joke about the dyslexic devil-worshiper who sold his soul to Santa :)

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:06PM

And after 2000 years, he's gonna come hard.

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:15PM


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Posted by: 64monkey ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:13PM

I hope she lives a good and long life so one day on her death bed in her old age wonders why her magic sky daddy never came back.
I always ask hard core TBM and Christians what will happen to Christianity when sky daddy does not come back. It's scary how devoted they are to this myth. They are sure he will come back and for me not accepting him dooms me to hell.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/06/2016 12:14PM by 64monkey.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:33PM

That's the question for me. The year 3000 or 5000 will everyone still be saying JESUS IS COMING VERY SOON?

The sell by date has passed centuries ago, brothers and sisters in Christ.

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 12:33PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvoJHjbiXr0


Who can deny these facts with the abundance of youtube evidence we now have available?


More questions:

Who will arrive first, the Extraterrestrials or the Head Holy Guy?

Who will be able to burn more people alive?

And will there be a power struggle for earthly domination?


This could get ugly, folks!

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Posted by: Agnes Broomhead ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 01:46PM

FreeRose Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Love you my Brothers and Sisters in Christ!
>
> FreeRose

Are you the "Cele Comedy" girl in the video? Even if you're not, please we beg of you:

You should know Jesus's suggestion during His resurrection to make new disciples of new peoples. So, why not get your butt off straight to Utah and do just that? Invade their temples where PAGAN ceremonies are performed! Couldn't think of a better birthday present for Him!

Go visit the GAs, haven't one or two of them claimed they've seen Christ? And if you visit Bednar, please ask him why he thinks April 6 is Christ's true birthday.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 02:27PM

I heard that Jesus got fired for not showing up for work ......after 2000 years!

My (mentally ill) wife at the time really did believe that Jesus was coming back with Y2K. I know that sounds funny. Having to deal with it was not funny.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 03:06PM

"Look busy, Jesus is coming?"

I love Jesus as much as anybody. I'm also pragmatic enough to know he ain't returning to this mess in a handbasket anytime soon.

He didn't make it. He sure as heck doesn't want to clean it up!

Jesus' message wasn't that he was coming back very soon.

It was to instruct us how to live so we could channel his love and compassion into the world more, not less.

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Posted by: adoylelb ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 03:13PM

I think Mormons and evangelicals would want to crucify Jesus again because they would be shocked that he's not the Nordic type they were hoping for. They would label him a Middle Eastern terrorist because of his olive skin, dark hair, and brown eyes.

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Posted by: acerbic ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 05:00PM

No trumpets existed when Book of Revelation was written.

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Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 05:02PM

acerbic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No trumpets existed when Book of Revelation was
> written.

Vuvuzuelas, perhaps?

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 05:04PM

csuprovograd Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> acerbic Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > No trumpets existed when Book of Revelation was
> > written.
>
> Vuvuzuelas, perhaps?

:D :D :D

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 06:36PM

And has been for a long, long time.

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Posted by: Exmoron ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 06:45PM

Actually he already came last week and fixed a broken pipe in my house. His name was "Jesus" and he was an excellent plumber. I will recommend him to others.

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Posted by: Princess Telestia ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 06:57PM

I thought he moved to California to go to Berkeley? Wait are we talking about my friend Jesus or mythological Jesus? Was so hoping it was my Jesus damn he and his boyfriend made the best frickin' steaks ever.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: December 06, 2016 09:54PM

To the OP: I assume you're joking. If not, you certainly picked a bad audience if you're looking to scare people about Jesus.

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Posted by: jaded ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 03:11PM

OMG, y'all. I'm sitting alone in my office and having to laugh into my elbow so as not to alarm everyone around me. How Jesus is coming (everyone look busy) managed to turn into a conversation about toenail fungus, dyslexic devil worshipers, and vuvulezas (Jesus booming a soccer ball downfield and everyone screaming GGOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!! immediately sprang to mind) has made me laugh like a madwoman.

Y'all totally MMD.

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Posted by: yamsi ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 09:11PM

I saw many different rainbows in 2016. Maybe he's schedule for 2017.

A year with no rainbows is a prerequisite ... right?

I know that is what my mother taught me.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 09:32PM

IN ~

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:35PM

I just know he'll come when I'm doing something naughty on my computer. Burned like toast with my browser open to RfM. Or with my little factory out. How embarrassing.

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Posted by: escapee nli ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:37PM

I didn't know he was even breathing hard.

Other Susan

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: December 07, 2016 10:44PM

FreeRose Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thousands of people are receiving
> visions of Christ coming in the clouds with his
> angels and trumpets playing.

Mass delusions.

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Posted by: katrax ( )
Date: December 08, 2016 01:37AM

Duh. We can never tell if he is coming because he always fakes it.


Let's hook him up with an fMRI.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: December 08, 2016 10:17AM

If he is coming, he's late to his own party.

If he isn't, he's wise to let things be.

Heck, if I had my pass off this planet for the next life, would I want to come back? Nope, nada.

There's a reason why death is final, including for the resurrected. If there is a heaven, it has to be better than here.

Jesus is surrounded by heavenly angels, and cities of gold. His work is just beginning and never ending.

There is only one God, whom he serves. He never, no never, said he was God the father. That is the main deviation I still have with some mainstream Christianity who sees him and God the father as the same personage. They're separate.

That is maybe one of the very few teachings from my Mormon upbringing I still hold intact.

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Posted by: kentish ( )
Date: December 08, 2016 10:54AM

I am not aware of any mainstream sections of Christianity that see Jesus and the Father as the same person. Without getting into a debate on the Trinity, one god manifest in three separate "persons".

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