A long time friend and recently called stake missionary came by today to "warn" me I better come back to church OR ELSE. The big message was Jesus is on the way and the cleansing could start soon.

He started off the conversation asking me about my "happiness factor." I am guessing he asked this because the church likes to preach that happiness only comes through the church and full fellowship.

He then "counselled" me not to listen too much those scientists or take science too seriously. He then proceeded to tell me that before the fall of Adam the earth spun horizontally on its axis rather than vertically like it does now. This info presumably should convince me that the earth is 6000 years old etc.......

I really like this guy and have known him for a long time, but he apparently now thinks he knows what's best for me and felt compelled to warn and counsel me of impending doom. Its sad to see someone I like so much get so brainwashed that he starts accepting idiotic ideas like the earth spinning horizontally and start behaving so self righteously.

About half way through his spiel is when I would have said,
"what's the difference between you and a crazy person?"

baura Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> About half way through his spiel is when I would
> have said,
> "what's the difference between you and a crazy
> person?"


Yeah I'm with Baura... I have to agree. He's a loony toon.

"happiness only comes through the church and full fellowship" AND paying a full tithe.

The cleansing?

(shudder)

I did a lot of that last week before my colonoscopy :/

When Jesus comes he will first clean up TSCC.

"The big message was Jesus is on the way and the cleansing could start soon"

All the TBM's better grab a scrub brush and some comet and get over to the chapel and start cleansing...Jesus doesn't like dirty toilets.

No disrespect to your friend, but I had to chuckle when I read this. The threat of, "Come back OR ELSE." The arrogance of the, "Happiness only comes from being a member of tje church and full felloww, blah, blah, blah..." Like nothing else could make one happy? And Jesus is coming to cleanse the Earth and ONLY Mormons would be spared?
As for the latter part of your friend's message? Wow...just wow! I'll leave it at that.

Like I said, I have know this guy for a long time. I was in shock. He walked a little miffed because I did not say much or agree with anything he said.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2016 06:43PM by perky.

He "walked" a little miffed? Maybe if he ran, he'd feel better! :-)

Maybe he cares about you too much to leave you this way? He's trying to save you by evangelizing his brand of doomsday.

Would I take it as a compliment, or be more worried about his mental state?

It sounds like you're worried more about him, as you should be. How could you lovingly say to him, dear friend: I really hope you're going to be okay and will get through this. Here's my plan for you. And see how well that goes over ....

You know, if we turn the solar system onto a vertical plane instead of a horizontal one, the earth would still spin on a horizontal axis. It is all a matter of perspective.

So, what difference does it make if the earth spins on a vertical axis vs. a horizontal one anyway? This is what happens when someone decides to ignore science (reason and logic). They become susceptible to all kinds of irrelevant nonsense.

Next time he tells you that the earth used to spin horizontally, just say: "You mean like Uranus?"

...that planet sounds dirty.

Your anus -- incorrect, but common pronunciation
Urine us -- correct, but uncommon pronunciation

Ironically, the name Uranus means "heaven". It makes you wonder what the afterlife is all about. Are we all going to live in a scatological environment that has its axis skewed at a right angle to the rest of reality?

Hey East Coast....you're pretty funny. Seriously, I like the " skewed axis" angle you're coming from. Good material.

hahhaahhahahahahhahahha

I believe that many hardcore Mormons can successfully detox, given time and the right counseling and information.

Unfortunately, your friend sounds like he might need more. I'm thinking medication is the place to start.

This is an occasion when you walk to the kitchen, obtain a piece of tin foil, hand it to him and say,

"I believe you'll know how to fold this".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2016 07:17PM by AmIDarkNow?.

Yes indeed - great idea

The last time someome said this to me,they moved into the mental hospital a short time later. Oh yeah, that was about 40 years ago.

So glad I don't have any long time TBM friends.

Jesus (and Tomatoes) [is] coming soon!

You took it? What did you give him?

Picture: https://www.flickr.com/photos/7271721@N03/5563242366/lightbox/



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2016 08:17PM by readwrite.

Mormons can be very nasty. When my family and I were exiting Mormonism, our home teacher, our bishop, and a neighbor all came to our house, at night, with someone else (Mormons travel in two's, so they can gang up on an individual), when I was home alone. On three separate occasions, they THREATENED me with worsening health (I was sick at the time), financial ruin (if I didn't pay tithing) and that my children would fail in life (if they didn't attend church)!

The first confrontation shocked me. The second made me mad. With the third threat, I stood up and said, "You are threatening me!" Please leave, before my husband and sons home and throw you out!

You can expect other similar visits. My family and I had to resign (together), in order to make the harassment stop. What a mean cult!

My family and I have since prospered in the land, and it is fun to know that the Mormon fanatics are aware of this! Mormonism is the way to UNhappiness.

Maybe you should stop liking this guy so much. He doesn't care about you. You need to turn away and run, run fast.

perky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He then proceeded to tell me that before the fall
> of Adam the earth spun horizontally on its axis
> rather than vertically like it does now. This
> info presumably should convince me that the earth
> is 6000 years old etc.......

Apparently this genius doesn't know that an axis is defined as the center of spin of an object...so no matter which way (relative to the plane of its orbit around the sun) the earth spins, it *always* spins on its axis the same way.

The stupid is strong with this one.

Sounds like he's fully assimilated. Just because you've known him a long time doesn't mean he's your friend. I mean he can be sorta, but his empathy is hijacked by his religion.

This message is to all of you who have contributed to this thread...THANK YOU !! This has been the most entertaining thread I've read for a long time. Just so my comment will be within the rules...I consider this thread to have greatly aided in my Recovery. Thanks again.

Once we start ignoring their whole "obedience to authority" game, they got nothin'.

I mean, what's left? Do they have evidence? No. Do they have reason? No.

All they have is obedience to authority, until we disallow it.

Then? They're screwed. They'll troll us for awhile, because it feels good to troll somebody. For awhile.

"...the cleansing could start soon..."

Well that's easy, if you read The Essene Gospel of Peace:

"Seek, therefore, a large trailing gourd, having a stalk the length of a man; take out its inwards and fill it with water from the river, which the sun has warmed. Hang it upon the branch of a tree, and kneel upon the ground before the angel of water, and suffer the end of the stalk of the trailing gourd to enter your hinder parts, that the water may flow through all your bowels. Afterwards rest kneeling on the ground before the angel of water that he will free your body from every uncleanness and disease. Then let the water run out from your body, that it may carry away from within all the unclean and evil-smelling things of Satan."

Let's grab our gourds and meet Jesus down at the river!

With fiends like that who needs enemas?

Ba-Da-Bump!!

I remember a garment story that in hindsight is pretty creepy. Missionaries went to a laundromat and the owner of the mat hung their garments for everyone to see. (I guess they were in the bathroom when their garments were stolen?) So the elders dusted their feet of the mat. Then the laundromat burned down. I think the Mormons went back later and burned it. Then said God did it...

When I hear an "or else" my responce is usually "or what" or "bring it on".

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2016 06:51PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

I would have stopped, given him a long, disappointed look and said "You know, I would have thought after all these years, you respected me as a friend and a human being too much to attempt this kind of manipulation and condescending behavior."

Allowing him to do it and sitting there silent gives him confirmation that it's okay with you. Call him out on it, and make it clear that it's not acceptable.

Oh...I love this!

I would have said...wait...we have a couple of more generations of "choiced" generations to go...

Me too. I'm re-reading this thread just before I die.

myturn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh...I love this!


Me too...I'm re-reading this thread just before I die...it's too funny for words

Good. Let's get this cleansing shit over with.

Why is it taking so damn long?

Sounds like the plot and title of a poorly made church movies by a struggling film company. Maybe (hopefully) he's advertising it.

You should have changed places.

He should have received the talking to/ at.

You know better.

I feel sorry for this guy but I feel more sorry for you having to listen to him.

perky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A long time friend and recently called stake
> missionary came by today to "warn" me I better
> come back to church OR ELSE. The big message was
> Jesus is on the way and the cleansing could start
> soon.

It already has in the ward house restrooms.

42

The OP just gave a good example that fits the advice I got from "dad," (my maternal grandfather who helped raise me), when I was a teenager.
He used to say: "Susie, if you want to keep a friend, don't talk about religion or politics."

I didn't know the level of the truth of that advice for many years until I had a better understanding of power of the emotional attachment to religion and politics!

The fanatical believers are so "off" it's hard to be friends, once they reveal their true nuttiness!

Mormonism:
Giving Jesus a bad name since 1829

Crazy is as crazy does. Mice come from rags in the corner, right?

If Jesus is "on the way," what's taking him so long? Does he need a starship to get him through the barrier at the center of the galaxy? Or maybe he needs new dilithium crystals. There are some generous hortas on Janus VI that could hook him up. Oh, I know, his hyperdrive motivator is broken. Perhaps he needs to stop and pick up Rey for a copilot. She was pretty good at hacking the hyperdrive on the Millennium Falcon. Maybe he's just "Lost in Space." When he finally gets here, I've got a few questions for him.

You will never go broke investing in aluminum foil producers.

Good news: Jesus just arrived.
Bad news: He is in Rome.

All my life I've heard the warnings. Jesus is coming ANY DAY NOW. I was in such a bad state when 2000 came along, I was sitting on the sofa HOPING the world would end at midnight. It didn't.

Even as a mormon, I got to a point that I'd laugh at all the people who would tell me these warnings. Not a one of them has happened.

I'm much less worried now about what is to come than I was as a mormon.

just like MORmON Jesus is not much of Jesus, MORmON "happiness" really is not happiness at all !!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzMMCA3mmGk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSMqp1sU49U

It's your job to warn him! Do it well... and never let up. Got it? Good. Real good!

I took the "Jesus is coming" warnings seriously in 1989 and spent over $700 on canned emergency rations. Still trying to get rid of the stuff, some going to my chickens and dogs.

If your friend is interested, I could give him a good deal.

"Jesus and Tomatoes Coming Soon"

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IFFSiVzlV3I/UCfe7gE48YI/AAAAAAAADto/CADBw5LwiDI/s1600/photo-753852.JPG

If he's wrong, tell him to pound sand.

This is the dilemma we all faced. The church said one thing, and we decided it was wrong.

If the church is correct, we are damned. If not, we salvaged a wasted life.

If I believed the LDS Church was "true", I'd go back and play by their rules in a heartbeat. I'm pretty damned sure it's a lie, and the church keeps proving it.

axeldc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If the church is correct, we are damned.

Actually, we get to have our pro-creative bits smoothed over and party forever.

A Dogzilla Parable:

The other day, I was talking with my guy friend. He was telling me about this dude he owed money to who just randomly showed up where my friend works, while he was working, to demand repayment. Who does that? Who just shows up somewhere where someone is working and stands there, despite being told, "I don't have your money and I won't for a couple days until I get paid. I can't give you anything right now because I have nothing to give you."

Despite this, and other really awful behavior my friend has told me about, his very last sentence was, "He's a really great guy, but..."

And I pulled a Womansplain on him, interrupted and said, "NO. This guy is NOT a really great guy. You have to stop making excuses for other people's shitty behavior. anyone who has pulled all the bullshit stunts on you that this guy has cannot possibly be a 'really great guy.' He is a deeply flawed, damaged, sick, sad, pitiful individual. He needs therapy and meds, if not just a good old-fashioned ass-kicking. This guy has done nothing but treat you like complete shit since the day you met him. He might be fun to drink with at the bar, but that does not make him a really great guy." Usually my friend treats me like I have nothing important to say, but he shut up and really listened to me and then finally agreed.

Same story with this mormon. Anyone who would threaten you with death and destruction simply because you refused to conform to his religion or even his idea of how you should be behaving... is not a nice person. There's nothing redeeming about a controlling, manipulative bully.

... and boy, he is really pi$$ed off.