And when I say true, I mean the hard , irrefutable evidence that their church is BS.

Their whole life, their whole existence, every step they take--all overshadowed by TSCC.

No wonder they blow a fuse when faced with it. It makes accepting the Santa Claus thing look like a walk in the park.

How did you handle it?

Howdy CnB, it wasn't easy. As I've written before, my wife and I went to a life endowment session and the young man sitting next to me was getting his endowment. He was scared shitless (this was in the "slice and dice" bloody penalties period). His Dad slept through most of it, but the kid was having a meltdown when he needed to go to the veil. I told him someone would be there telling him the words.

He said, "I have to remember all that!?!"

I went through the veil and watched him enter dazed and confused and then greeted happily by his family. I sat down, looking ridiculous in the temple clothes, and said to myself, "I'm in a fucking cult!"

I told my wife on the way home that I no longer believed in Mormonism. She told me the marriage was over.

It took me a while to stop attending, doing home teaching, and wearing the garments--but I realized the Morg had no control over me.

Slight tangent, or maybe just a view from the other side of the mirror; the devout Mormon's perception of reality is an almost palpable force.

I remember during the courtship with my wife, listening to her explain Mormonism to me. None of anything she told me sounded "right" based on everything I knew from my own experience and education (both in school and a continuing interest in what's going on in the world). And yet, hearing and feeling her earnestness, I had moments where I thought, "Am I the one who's wrong? What is my casual, instinctive skepticism in the face of such a force of faith?"

Those thoughts were fleeting, but still left an impression on my skeptical worldview. I know, of course, that it's all a lie started by Joseph Smith and perpetuated by his successors; but I can see how easily one can get caught up in it, and how difficult it can be to break free without some internal turmoil.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2016 11:26AM by GregS.

It's like the rug being pulled out from under you. Your entire identity goes into free fall. It's not pretty. The trip down the rabbit hole is a wild ride, and you eventually get your footing and establish an identity without Mormonism.

Yes!

The foundation built with lies upon lies disappears. This leaves no foundation. So with some it it far to scary to fall into what they think is utter darkness spinning out of control.

By sticking to the lie. At least it is a foundation and since our perception of that foundation is real in our minds the lie works.

For me re-cognition of the lies and all that comes with it quickly built a new foundation.

For others it is the place they cannot look. They are trapped by fear.

The question it seems to me is this. Are you willing to risk all to know if the life you've been taught is based on lies or not?

I looked. I was fearful and trembling but I could not tear my eyes away. The more I looked to less fearful I became. then came the realization, anger, loss and worry for the future.

WE were the liars! The church elite ARE the wolves!

Talk about baptism!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2016 10:55AM by AmIDarkNow?.

My elderly parents who have managed all of their lives to deflect the facts about the church as the clever work of Satan are finally being bombarded with the facts they can no longer get to slide off. Like the rest of my family, they will bury their heads in the sand even deeper, but, I will say there are times when you can see such fear and even panic in their eyes for a few minutes after a confrontation with the truth that I really feel bad for them and wish they hadn't found this new information. They are too old to handle this after a lifetime of devout Mormonism

Funny thing though. A few weeks later after these incidents and they are all good. They have found a new compartment to put it in and their Mormon world is once again hunky dory.

Doubting your doubts works brothers and sisters. I am here to testify.

On the other hand, I was thrilled to find out the church was one big lie.

I don't have to imagine it, I lived (still live) it. I felt like my brain exploded, and I had to look for the pieces that were still good and put them back.

I still go through some days of tears and depression, but the time between those episodes is getting longer.

That is why Mormonism is an inherently cruel and dysfunctional way of life. Thankfully many are waking up to this reality, but the wheels turn slowly.

I don't have to imagine it, I know it...

I obviously heard about polygamy (although I always imagined it was just a few unknown members having 2 or 3 wives, not actual prophets having 20-70 wives) and the priesthood ban, and a few other small rumours which I weren't sure were true, but there was one particular day where I found out a LOT all in one go.

The feeling is difficult to describe, and I've only felt it once in my whole life. It felt like I was being pulled into a black hole. Like I was exploding and imploding at the same time. It was a feeling of horror, but not like the feeling of "horror" you get when you hear about a traumatic event on the news, it's different (probably for selfish reasons if I'm honest, because it's my life this time, not someone else's).

I remember the feeling well, as it was probably the most extreme I've ever felt, but it's difficult to put into words. And I've only felt that way once before so I can't say "It's the feeling you get when X, Y, Z happens".

I think "horror" is a sort-of appropriate word to describe how I felt, but I don't think it does it justice because most people will just think of feeling scared watching a horror move. Also, the feeling felt physical as well. Even though nothing was happening and I was just reading and thinking, it felt like something was happening to me. Getting dragged into a black hole or imploding is the closest I can use words to describe it. I don't believe in spirits and things anymore, but it did honestly feel like there was an evil spirit in me. Kind of like my insides emptied, I collapsed in on myself then turned into another being.

I was one of those people who if you'd asked me, "If the church isn't true, would you want to know?", I'd have said, "You better believe it. I'd be out of here faster than you can say Joseph's Smith's pecker." But I thought there was no way to ever know for sure, so I'd err on the side of choosing to believe it so I didn't spend eternity in Hell (or Telestial Kingdom which now sounds like heaven to me.)

When I found out that it was extremely easy to see that the whole thing was a con job from the beginning (all you had to do was look) and that there was absolutely no question in my mind--I believed that 1,000 times stronger than I ever believed it was true, I was outta there. OK, that's stretching the truth a little, I crawled away rather than ran. I was a little trepedatious about how to get my son out unscathed, but I figured it out and never looked back.

So lost. I'm a 15 year convert, my husband is a 40 year old member. We feel embarrassed, cheated, pissed about the money because we love to give to charity. Charity is not where that money went. We feel like we are a project now. Missionary's dropped by last night. Now we want to figure out how to be taken off the project list. We'd like to leave the Chuch but not ready to come out to his parents which are devout Temple workers. We are trying to process this, I guess our big word would be "Dupped".

My wife and I are at a crossroads in our lives. We both realize that what was presented and taught to us is not true. However, we do not like what society has to offer as an alternative. So we are working through this transition but it feels great not allowing others dictate to us how to live or to live in fear.

Exploration. There are more than two choices in life--Mormonism or Society. The rest of the world is varied and no two lives are alike. No two sets of values are alike. No two cultures are alike and no two people in any culture are alike. You find your own new life. You look at the options and consider, choose, accept or discard and move on. Growth. Exploration. Never afraid to change your mind over and over until the day you die.

Your post made me say that. I could not help it. That is what I found after Mormonism. Just wishing you the best when you may feel like the rug was just yanked out from underneath you.

There isn't really "society', just lots of people all across multiple spectrums. Tastes, beliefs, standards of behavior and so on.

It was NOT earth shattering for me at all. I was so happy to find out about the dark underbellied truths that had been hidden from me for four decades. I was almost giddy with excitement. I said to myself, "I knew it..I knew it...those fudgers had been lying to us." I was like, "no more boring meetings, no more throwing my money away, coffee, beer, a cigar at my granddaughters birth, yippee." Although a very stalwart TBM, I hated that church, and dreaded going on Sunday's.

My experience was similar to yours.
More "relief" than "earth-shattering."

I had been trying so hard to "believe" what I really didn't believe (and in some cases knew was false) for so long that when the moment came that I could simply say, "Yeah, it's false!" it was relief. That I didn't have to pretend to believe. That I didn't have to dismiss facts to believe. That I didn't have to lie to people and tell them I had a "testimony." That I could go have a beer or a cup of coffee and not feel uber-guilty about breaking some kind of "law of god." That I could not go to church on Sunday, but do something useful that day (including sleep in!).

I'd already figured out that people had been lying to me about the church most of my life (one reason, in another thread, I'm so against lying to my own kids about ANYTHING)...I just finally gave myself permission to be honest and not "believe." That wasn't earth-shattering, it was blessed relief.