and I found myself so desperately anxious to share EVERYTHING with these people that I tripped all over myself. I wanted to spew out all the ugly truths in 10 minutes (I knew that was about all I had). Later, I gave it some deep thought, and decided that I need to calm down. If someone is really interested, they will ask ME questions. I think my biggest fear is that others will get "sucked in" to the church like I was, and I feel a great responsibility to warn everyone I can. I DON'T WANT the church to gain power. Not that I really believe that will happen, but I am sure that right now, the rank and file are meeting behind closed doors to plan their next strategy to bring on more dupes...er...converts.

I did that with a friend I hadn't seen in a few years. We got together and I spent the entire time telling her about everything I'd learned about Mormonism. I just couldn't seem to shut up.

She'd left the Church a few years before I had, but she didn't know anything about the proof I'd found that it was all a fraud. She'd left for more personal reasons after she had a conflict with the leadership.

But anyway, maybe I just finally had an audience that I could share it with, since my still-TBM friends obviously didn't want to hear about it. I finally had someone to talk to about it and it just all spilled out.

Later I felt a little embarrassed, although she never said anything about it.

Greyfort, that's sort of how I feel. This isn't the first time I've "let loose". I feel like, besides at this board, there is no place for me to truly vent. I would LOVE to be able to discuss my experiences face-to-face with someone who was either: (1) feeling like I was or (2) truly interested in hearing my story. Maybe therapy is the only answer!!

Mainly, I'm scared about what a conversation like that could do to my career.

I think you were right for calming down. Phew...that would scare me :)

Good luck.