I just checked my mail (to see if I got any Christmas cards from anybody I failed to send a card to) and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a copy of the Ensign addressed to me.

I suppose (at least in the eyes of TSCC) I'm still a member--I haven't resigned or been exed, but I haven't attended for years, and haven't paid for a subscription to the Ensign for many years. Even when I was still attending, I saw no point in having a paper copy of something I could readily access online.

Did anyone else here get an unexpected copy of the Ensign with gordo's smiling face on the cover? I never received a notification of a "gift" subscription--if anyone were clueless enough to buy me such a gift.

Maybe it's a message from God that I need to return to his one true church.

You are blessed indeed.

There is jussst nothing more uplifting than settling in your coziest chair, with a tall glass of what-ever you please, the fireplace blazing, and pick up that Ensign and toss it in the fire for instant fuel as it will blaze with true light, and then pick up your favorite novel and enjoy the rest of your evening.

Happy Holidays to you.

:)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/21/2016 09:40PM by CrispingPin.

I'll bet it was a gift.

Some Bozo probably thinks it would be a great thing to send to someone who is inactive.

Then whoever anonymously did it will feel all warm and fuzzy at the wonderful thing they did. They will be expecting you to thank them in the CK someday for the thing that brought you back to church! Haha.

Choke. My mom used to do crap like that.

No doubt there will be some inspiring story about how Gallant does what Jesus wants and Goofus doesn't. Oh wait...wrong magazine.

I'd love to see an LDS version of Goofus and Gallant. It would make me gag, but I'd still like to see it.

I'm not all that familiar with "Goofus and Gallant", but I'd imagine an LDS version would be awfully close to Laman and Nephi in the BOM.

I still get mine, but my subscriptions don't run out until summer
I'll see what happens when I stop renewing them for the first time since 83. I do see a lot of changes in the church on a lot of issues since then

Maybe it was on the list for the "light the world" PR stunt this season.

Jesus sent unwanted magazine subscriptions to unbelievers, and so can you!

Probably an anonymous gift (possibly a new way to love bomb the less active) but I'd call subscriptions and make sure this isn't some new scam to get money for LDS, Inc. You might just get a bill in the mail for all those copies you threw in the trash. How sad if they are conning the converted and getting them to buy subscriptions for all their apostate friends and relatives. Sounds like an all time low for LDS, Inc.

I opened the mailbox, and what did I see? Gordo, the Salamander, smiling at me.

Oh, and the Ensign is all about his legacy! I smell a whitewash!

Here's a good description of what whitewash smells like, even after several years.

https://www.bobvila.com/posts/85462-strange-paint-smell#.WFtkRneZPVo

There's no mistaking that smell.

Read it cover to cover and if you feel the "spirit" the church must be truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue.

You aren't the only one! I started getting an ensign too. Except my husband is still active but he says he didn't order it and he never did before. He doesn't read it and I just throw it out right away. Brings me pleasure to know I am wasting some of the cults hard earned money but at the same time feels wasteful.

Apparently the bishop and missionaries can send ensigns to people and have the church cover the cost for certain circumstances. Likely inactive family members, short on money, etc. But the church has a "campaign" right now to encourage members to do an act of service a day or something and I bet people are ordering ensigns for others too. Yuck.

Call and ask them to stop sending it to you.

but they're too embarrassed to admit they're giving you this subscription.

You can look through the rag and find a phone number to receive a reimbursement and to stop future issues.

I'd be embarrassed for the postman to have to touch that thing or find out I was receiving it.

Spend the reimbursement check on coffee, tea, or some other nonm-o product you like.

Another possibility . . .

Magazine publishers often send out free magazines as a way to boost sales. I actually received Playboy for years because I got on some list like that. I am gay and actually did love the articles. I have received at least three other magazines out of the blue in the past decade. They hope you will like it and subscribe when they quit.

A second reason publishers do this is probably the reason the Ensign is sending out the free magazines. Like all magazines,they like to be able to boast of a high subscription rate. It is important in the business. Everybody loves a winner!

The church is fudging its numbers on members by claiming inactive, and even dead I believe. The ensign is probably really hurting with all the Mormons leaving the church and not renewing subscriptions. They do not want to admit that sales are down. Its like anyone on the losing end claiming to be winning big because if the public knows they are losing they are going to lose face. And losing face is not good for business. Especially when you are Mormon and your facade is all you've got.

A New Era magazine (the church mag for the youth) was one of the final things in my shelf coming down. My daughters never touched it, but I read an article about Joseph and Emma's wonderful marriage. Emma was so wonderfully supportive of Joseph and they never quarreled. My head was screaming, they are lying to my daughters! Not one word about polygamy! Nothing about how hard this would have been for Emma?

All of those magazines are just bullshit cover to cover. I'd make them stop.

You mean such illuminating articles this this?

https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/10/when-emma-met-joseph?lang=eng

You may have someone in the phamily that 'cares' - to send [that pre-activation crap] lds's hopeful dope, to save (waste) you.

Don't throw it in the woodstove all at once. Take it out a few pages at a time to start the fire, savoring it each time.

My Mom, bless her ancient heart, has decided that she loves me more than tscc. Damn, I love and respect her hard work and tenderness. No tricks. No bait and switch. Just love. I think she knows, but it's hard to give up everything at 85.

When I was a 'gator, someone did that to me also.
I joined, but that was at a vulnerable period of my life (early teens)

sic transit gloria

Passive Aggressive approach to reaching out.

I read the December Ensign. The first article was an encouraging guide to teachers to not ask rote questions to get rote answers, but ask questions to elicit thoughtful answers. Then, the next article was the normal blah, blah, blah pray, pay and obey or else you will lose the spirit and celestial glory. No mention that a primary reason people leave is that the entire momo message is fabricated.