Posted by:
What's Next?
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Date: December 31, 2016 10:31PM
Wow- thanks to all for your prompt and thorough responses. Very much appreciated and gives me some first-hand assurance that others are indeed facing the same challenges. Before I re: to some of your thoughts, to further elaborate on my situation- I have a daughter that lives, I'll say "out West," with her mother, step father and step siblings. She's being raised in a heavy LDS culture that happens to be, oh, about 10 min from the missionary training center.
What's interesting is that my daughter, since before she became a teenager, began asking me question about the church such as:
"dad, why is the church called the church of Jesus Christ....." but in church no one hardly ever mentions Jesus' name?
My point in sharing this is that at times it seems SO SIMPLE, and SO OBVIOUS. Even I kid can pick up on the smoke and mirrors.
I'd like to re: to some of your much-appreciated comments:
@gatorman- as my wife and I became to come to our realization of what the church REALLY is, we were in the process of moving. We only moved a short distance, but fortunately moved into another ward boundary. We initially started to attend the new ward, but later just stopped all together. For the most part the ward(s) have left us alone. And, part of me doesn't want to go thru the sit-down with the Bishop, Stake Pres, etc...mostly because I feel that doing so would almost (acknowledge) their authority, or importance in disavowing the church. Based on my new understanding, everything is a total fraud, to include their authority, the baptism, priesthood, etc. So, in the eyes of the Lord I feel as though He looks at the organization the same. It's just all based on lies and mind control. At some level, I feel as though I'd be submitting myself to allow local church leaders to (try) to chastise me; tell me the "eternal" consequences, yada, yada. And, I'd (again) have to volunteer more time to sit in front of a bunch of suits who:
- continue to lie about some hillbilly from NY who allegedly translated a gold book with God's help; even though eye witness accounts stated his "translation" method involved sticking his beak in a hat with a few rocks inside; with the gold book in another room; and magically came up with the book.
I guess if I fasted for 2-3 days at a time; broke my fast with nothing but coffee and beer; I'd eventually start to see letters appear inside a hat too and might convince myself it was the work of God and not that of alcohol! :)
@gatorman, I'm not at all trying to being cynical. I have thought long and hard about whether or not to discuss with church leaders. But, I know eventually parents, in-laws, brothers, sisters...they would all be "officially" informed. While they are all already aware, at this point I'm just trying to prevent any more drama.
@getbusylivin- 100% agree with your assessment of the emotional and moral power at home. Like you, I feel it all starts at home. Our kids have adapted very well to the change, and I know they'd like to learn more about religion or church. And, i fully acknowledge the onus is on me to make it happen. My wife is super-supportive and I look forward to the future. Biggest challenge now I'd say is figuring out how to allow the kids to continue to have a relationship with their grandparents, when anytime the grandparents see them they (grandparents) want to help "bring them back to the fold."
In fact, last time my father came to visit he had the audacity to state that "as the patriarch of the (my last name) family," he would have to ask to me contact a local church member to have them bring our kids to church if we weren't going to attend.
Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.
What's unfortunate is that because of his (priesthood authority) he truly felt "inspired and empowered" to say what he did.
So, I reciprocated his display of authority by telling him to get the hell out of the house and if I heard one more word out of his mouth I would follow my prompting caused by a burning in my bosom and call the police and have them drag him out; and request a no-contact order be issued.
He pulled this stunt with my whole family in the house. I followed him to the car, as I politely communicated all the highly explicit and socially unacceptable words and phrases I had learned in my 40 years of life- that explained my feeling towards his BS religion.
He hasn't called since and it's been so much better.
I can keep going but I've already wrote much more than expected.
Another question to you all, as I'm very much encouraged by your responses:
for those of you located in geographic areas with smaller LDS populations, have you had success reaching out to folks in your respective local areas who are in the same situation? If no, are you familiar with how to find these types of families? I've searched extensively online to no avail and with no success. If these message boards are my best bet- so be it. However, if other options are available where perhaps face-to-face interaction can take place that would be great.
Thanks you VERY much for all you support and input!