This past week has been invigorating and saddening. Last week I graduated from High School and left Mormonism all in the same day. The notes I wrote, ( http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,184972,184972#msg-184972 ) detailed to my family why I must leave. Unfortunately they misconstrued what I wrote as hateful messages to deceive them. They reported me missing, accused me of having a fake ID, accused me of being a vile manipulator and many other things. When I spoke to the officer who entered me as a missing person, he accused me of being a felon for leaving even though I'm of legal age to do so. Which amused me in a sense, because I later found out he's Mormon as well.

Throughout all of these events I was in a very dark place. I wasn't quite here but not quite gone either. All of the emotions running through my mind and permeating my body overwhelmed me. Grief, despair, sadness, anger, jubilation, joy, happiness, vindication and any other emotion you can think of ran through me at lightspeed over the past week.

My parents accusing attitude wasn't strictly limited to me, however. They felt it necessary to accuse nearly everyone I've interacted with outside the church of being 'un-christian' and 'manipulative.' Thankfully, they've ceased throwing around accusations and have taken a more laid back stance toward the situation, love-bombing. It's a sneakier method, but I'd rather have them taking that approach than one of brute force.

I'm not sure how I feel about my family now that I've left. A large part of me just wants to forget, to close that chapter forever. I still love them of course, that bond will never be broken. But some part of me feels that in order to preserve that bond a certain distance must be kept for a period of time, the duration of which I am uncertain. I don't quite know what to think about that, or how to feel about it.

But, now I have my whole life ahead of me. Free of judgment, free of fear, free of oppression, free of repression and free of Mormonism! Thanks to all of you for the support and thank you Susan, Eric and others for providing the board for so many. It's value is immeasurable and language lacks the capacity to express my gratitude for the board.

Thank you all.

Best wishes for going with your gut on this one. YOU knew what you had to do and did not hessitate. Now as to distance from your family. I believe it is an excellent idea. Let them calm down. Think through how you will handle family. Some excellent suggestions have been given on this site and some people hopefully will repeat them for you. You do not deserve unkind remarks or harrassment of any kind so DO take a break from those people.

You are starting a new life. They can not help you. So go spread your wings and enjoy the experience. Do you have a job, or are you going to school? I am not sure I recall.Just remember that they will continue the lovebombing so be sure you are direct and firm in your responses as soon as you do reconnect.

You're on your way to a much happier more fulfilling life outside of the mormon cult. Very best wishes.

so much easier just to punt it to the next generation.

But you are saying, "this stops now!"

You sound very mature for a recent high school graduate! Congratulations on making a very grown up decision. I wish I had done what you are doing before I indoctrinated 4 children into the cult. I am out but they are still drinking the kool-aid.

I love that you recognize that you need some distance in order to maintain a bond. Something that I recognize often in mormon families is that parents don't allow their kids to grow up and become independant. They keep them in a perpetual state of childhood and, as a result, never really form adult relationships with one another. In my husband's family I see a lot of adolescent behavior out of grown-ups. I see forty and fifty year olds hiding coffee pots and wine bottles as though they were teenagers afraid of being grounded!

I was in the same boat. I went to BYU after high school for the fall semester. During that semester, I've decided the same as you. I moved to a different town for school, live in a house that isn't my parents, and I don't talk to my family about my decision and such. Being away from them made it much easier and gave each party a time to cool down and think. Things with my family aren't weird at all, it's not discussed much, and I'm free to choose my own life now. You won't regret it at all, I've never regretted my decision for one second since.

What now? What are your plans? Do you have a safe place to stay?

Don't you think it's fascinating how people call others names that reflect only themselves, i.e. your family call others "manipulative" but it appears to me that they are VERY manipulative. It's the same with calling someone "unChristian" when your family is acting extremely unChristian.

I think it's called PROJECTION...you project onto others what is on your "dark side" or "shadow".

It is projection. I contacted my parents a few days back and I told them that I love them and they hung up after that. I can't remember the last time they said they loved me. After what they've done over the past two weeks I don't know if I want to see them again.

There is a rule in recovery that you take care of yourself first...and if people are toxic to you, you need to distance (no matter how others might view that distancing).

That's a fantastic video Davo. I'm glad I don't have to go through everything that he's been through, especially with the bit where he believed he could raise his brother from the dead.

At 18 years of age you can send in your own resignation and sign it yourself. Or you could email it. Resignation certainly gives you back your personal right to decide things for your self ecclesiastically and legally. Just an option.

Good luck. Remember, success is the best revenge. (in an exmo's case success is the best defense against all the coming "yourwrongimonies" and "youwillfailimonies").

Congrats!

Timothy