...that I'd someday like to write!!!

Here's just a couple of mine so far...

Chapter 1...

"I Know That You Don't Know What You Think You Know"

Chapter 2

"Why I Wasn't Allowed To Tell Investigators The Truth On My Mission"

Or so it seems to me...

Chapter 3

Precept upon precept, Lie upon lie.

Chapter 4

Thou throw'est thee under the bus.

1. The mind must be empty to receive the gospel.

2. Taking the milk slowly.

3. You don't have to choke on the meat.

4. How to serve a mission on 5 meals a week.

6. Eternal marriage in 3 weeks or less.

7. Accepting your calling, and what cleaning supplies you'll need.

8. Busy work sets you free.

9. There are no pennies in heaven. How the church will make the most of your estate.

Things that are true are always useful.

Bishop's Chapter

Where did my Power of Discernment go?

Fun: Threat or Menace?

Clean Those Chapel Toilets Because Jesus

You Can't Spell "Starbucks Grande Mocha" without "S-A-T-A-N"

Only Puked Three Times After Chemo--So Blessed!

Extramarital Orgasms Cause Alzheimer's

Itchy Garments Means You Sinned

Quitters Go To Spirit Prison

How to feel superior while appearing humble

"Things we never taught (anti Mormon lies)"

"Things we always knew"

Those two chapters will have identical text.

"I Know the Chooch is Twoo. A Child's Perspective."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2017 12:44PM by auntsukey.

"How to Show Tasteful Disdain for Apostates."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2017 12:44PM by auntsukey.

"How to Gain a Testimony by Chanting"

Aaronic

Apostate

Authorities

Brethren

Celestial

Conference

Ensign

Even (as)

Even (unto)

Evil

Genealogy

Gospel

Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit)

Jello

Kolob

Masturbation (little factory)

Melchisidek

Millenium

Polandry

Polygamy

Pre-existence

Recommend (noun)

Returned Missionary (not Return Missionary)

Righteousness

Salvation (plan of)

Shoulders (porn)

Telestial

Terrestial

Testimony

Worthy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2017 01:00PM by auntsukey.

History of the Garment of the Holy Priesthood

History of the Temple Ceremonies - - what it was like then and what it is like now, even though there have been no changes

How to get nursing home care after giving all your money to God: A Medicaid Primer.

On using FAIR and church provided arguments: "Apologetics-we B.S. so you don't have to!"

Food Storage: Don't Just Ignore It.

Tithing: What Your Insurance Policy Does and Does Not Cover.

Passive Aggressive Shunning

Activities for Teen Girls on $10.00 or Less a Month

Is Your Shirt Truly White? The Uniform of the Priesthood.

J Golden Kimball: Last Human GA

Things we no longer teach volumes 1 through 1572

Lying for the Lord makes you a Lion of the Lord

Songs we never sang in primary

The myth of the gold and green ball

Mission does not equal missing

The Second Annointing Liscence to everything but kill

BYU has Brides for You

Building Self Esteem for women why bother?

It's Sacred not Secret. How and what to share at ward councils

Stalking the Lost. More fun than hunting big horns.

How to turn worthiness interviews into the next romantic best seller.

Hidden Assets : did you pay tithing on them?

Polygamists our distant cousins

Hand shakes for beginers

Hand shakes for the endowed

Burnt offerings: from old testament times to ward dinners

Dodging bill collector while waiting for blessings.

Wickedness never was happiness, why anti mormons are miserable

The forgotten 2 1/2 minute talks

- "The 14th Article of Faith - We Believe In Justification Through Rationalization"

- "Seeing Through Spiritual Lies" (Get it?? "Spiritual Lies" = "Spiritual Eyes")

- "Condemning the Physical, Mental, and Sexual Abusers...Unless They Are Full Tithe Paying Priesthood Holders"

The Essays: Covering Your Butt In The Age of Google


Hating Others From Love, With A Smile


Forever Families Who Pray Together Pay Together, Forever


The Art of Hooking Up With Non-Mormons: Licking Licked Cupcakes

Part I: On The Downlow
Part II: Cleaning Icing Stains If Caught
Part III: Lying For The Lord To The Bishop


Ignoring Your Shelf I
Ignoring Your Shelf II
Ignoring Your Shelf III
Ignoring Your Shelf IV
Ignoring Your Shelf V
Patching Your Shelf I...


Shit My GA Says


Being Green: Eliminating Little Factory Emissions

- You are not the only disbeliever in the pews.

How To Witness to Others (until they explode and reveal their instability)

The ExMormon, Evil or Deluded?

Happiness Is a Warm Check