Posted by:
Stray Mutt
(
)
Date: May 15, 2011 08:57PM
Back in my early adult life, I participated in a small study about relationships. One question was, "What are you looking for in a woman?" If I had still been in the church, I might have given the stock LDS answers about wanting a righteous woman, good mother, etc. But since I had left the church, I had to actually think about my answer.
I was still in a bit of a reactive mode, though, and mostly the things I DIDN'T want in a woman came to mind, and those things were personified in the typical LDS woman -- as I perceived her. And my perception of LDS women was formed by mother and sisters. They didn't seem happy. They weren't lighthearted. There was no spark. They seemed to be plodding along, doing their duty, and little else.
So I wanted a happy woman, one who greeted life with excitement. If possible, a funny woman, a sly, imaginative jokester. Someone who could make me laugh. Someone who could pull me out from under the baggage of a way-too-serious Mormon culture.
As a result of that little study, I had a clearer view of where I wanted my life to go. I found myself dating women I wasn't all that attracted to physically because they were fun to be with.
Even if I had still been a Mormon, would there have been anything unrighteous about wanting a happy, fun woman? Do LDS girls have that trained out of them, or did I just have bad luck? Was my sample an anomaly? Well, good thing I had bad luck with Mormon women, otherwise I might have ended up marrying one and being trapped in the church. Or, worse, had my brain so messed up that I wouldn't have realized I was trapped.