Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: January 13, 2017 12:34AM
I just found out one of my husband's formerly TBM, temple-recommend holding relatives was arrested on New Year's Eve for DUI. I knew she wasn't attending church much but last summer she attended another relative's temple wedding. She holds a recommend. Apparently, after her arrest, it came out she's been drinking and attempting to hide the evidence unsuccessfully from her husband and kids.
Already, DH's relatives have started in with the "well, that's what happens when you leave the church" comments. Which is infuriating because she's just semi-inactive and apparently she's active enough to talk her bishop into giving her a recommend just last summer. Also, I left the church 10 years ago and while I have a drink or two a month, I have in no way become Satan's plaything, as seems to be the implication by those sort of comments. I am pretty much the straight-laced person I've always been, except for the occasional drink, the Starbucks app on my phone and a tattoo somewhere none of the relatives can see it.
Most people are pretty much the same when they leave the church. Except for the huge feeling of relief - of being free from the chains. They don't automatically fall into sin, as Mormons teach. And what Mormons see as sin, is often a simple coffee or a tank top. The judgments are unhelpful at best, hurtful more often than not.
Anyway, they are now trying to figure out how to help this relative, realizing that this is more than just one isolated bad choice to drink and drive - she is showing signs of real alcoholism. In fact, any ideas on how to help her would also be appreciated. But I'd really like a response to the next relative that tries to equate leaving the church with utter moral collapse. Help - please!