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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 08:00AM

When I was high priests group leader, out of duty I was forced into frequent splits with the missionaries, 4-5 hours per night, 3-4 times per month.

God. Good times. You?

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Posted by: Darren Steers ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 08:39AM

I used to go when I lived in both Scotland and England.

I always found it a waste of my time as they never seemed to have any investigators and we would end up driving around to find a less active to annoy.

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Posted by: westerly62 ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 08:54AM

All the damn time back in the day when we had 2 sets of elders assigned to our branch.

In addition to the elders, we had a set of sisters missionaries and a senior couple all working over our small Texas town. For a while, it was like a proselytizing plague of locusts had descended on this very Lutheran berg of 12,000.

I wasted more time that I wish to remember sitting in the living room of people who obviously didn't want us there but were too polite to say so.

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Posted by: idleswell ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 09:05AM

When I worked nights I became a favorite companion for the elders because I was available during the day. Other (priesthood) members that were available during the day were available because they were too unreliable to keep any employment. I had to limit my afternoons with the elders to twice per week. Otherwise, they would have had me on a part time mission.

I can say (with some pride now) that nobody I saw with the elders ever joined the Church. I insisted on presenting all knowledge about the Church to investigators. I wanted them completely aware of every cost to joining the Church. I took Luke 14:28 seriously ("For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?").

Over the years I had seen too many people join the Church without a full understanding of what would be expected of them. Tithing. Chastity, Word of Wisdom, Sabbath Day, Church meetings, etc. I wanted their investigators to know before they got involved with the Church what their new lifestyle would be.

But nobody I saw with the elders was ever baptized. Many times we would visit an address only to find that their investigator was not home or they had given a false address. "Not to worry, elders," I would say. "At least they are still eligible for baptism. If they had met me, that would condemn them."

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 10:33AM

In Rome, there's a very tiny off-ramp that ties Corso di Francia to a small clover leaf. It doesn't show up by name on Googlemaps, but in real life has a name sign, Via Honduras. It's only about 30 meters long and has no houses or addresses on it. It was the most common false address given to missionaries ever, and real insulting, because the obvious message was, "...and STAY out!" When missionaries are given an address on Via Honduras, they just cheerfully say "Thanks!" I bet that missionaries get referred to Via Honduras daily.

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Posted by: getbusylivin ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 10:59AM

cludgie, that's a great story! I have this image of a missionary trudging around the cloverleaf forever like somebody walking along an M.C. Escher mobius loop, looking for "12B Via Honduras"...

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Posted by: thegame2017 ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 06:15PM

21 jump street

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Posted by: numbersRus ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 11:39AM

1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Washington, DC (too obvious)
1265 Lombardi Ave., Green Bay, WI (Lambeau Field)
1060 W Addison St., Chicago, IL (remember Blues Brothers?)
1313 Mockingbird Lane

many more I'm sure...

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 11:17AM

1. I want on splits a few times and in every case but one, the person joined. This was because I never talked about TSCC but about everything else under the sun. I guess it was because I was just normal and not a TBM at all. I was also well known in the community.
2. I NEVER gave a testimony of TSCC or of JS on any split. Indeed, I never once in 32 years gave a testimony like "The church is twoo!"
3. I did correct the elders on some things.

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Posted by: Amos90 ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 12:24PM

I was ward mission leader right after my full time mission, then a counselor in the stake mission presidency when they still had those.
Then later I was EQP.
Very many times I spend 2-4 hours a week on "exchanges" (a term for splits that has hardly stuck in 25 years).

I even had a stake missionary name tag.

The weirdest part of splits to me was dressing up like a missionary, name tag and all, and tracting in my own neighborhood a few times. Also, I worked in a hospital and I visited inpatients who were in my stake, and investigators (only by invitation, even then I recognized proselyting cold-turkey in a hospital was inappropriate, besides not being allowed), and being in my own workplace dressed in an LDS missionary uniform.

There were a few occasions in which I was uncomfortable with the regular missionaries' obtrusiveness. It's very different when they're your neighbors, peers, coworkers, and customers. Their sensibilities matter a lot more when you know them in a personal or occupational context.

The missionaries could be quite...insensitive.

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Posted by: lifefromanewview ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 01:13PM

I did it was a huge waste of time generally, but when there were decent elders who weren't massive self religious zealots, it was a little fun well until we had to teach people. Most of these people were far too busy or just weren't interested yet these persist guys would harass and harass.
One or two I knew just kind of gave up when a reasonable person would. I got uncomfortable when they tried to get me to drive them to somewhere I knew didn't want them.

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Posted by: bettydee ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 04:28PM

Myself and my ex were both "Stake Missionaries"(had our own black name tag with white letters)and had to do splits. One sister missionary I was once paired with had a prosthesis arm that guess didnt fit right and once when she shook hands with a lady who opened her door the arm came off! OMG a Kodak moment. My ex was 6'2 and did splits once with a "little person" Elder who was 38 inches tall! Another Kodak moment. I still laugh about his experiences .Can't say it was good times but certainly laughable.

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Posted by: rutabaga ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 04:44PM

As a stake seventy about all we did was go on splits. One of the other guys in our seventies group became a local legend.

The missionaries were notoriously late for appointmnets, keeping us waiting around for half an hour or more to go on splits.

Dean got fed up with that. He would wait precisely two minutes for the missionaries. After that he went home. "Tell them I waited!"

24 years later that story is still going around.

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Posted by: nevermo4 ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 05:59PM

Very funny story about 'Via Honduras',lol.

Reminds me of when I went to America for a few months once and signed up for a store card in most of the supermarkets to avil of extra discounts.

We'd often get funny looks from cashiers as I cried with the laughter filling in my zip code as 90210.

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Posted by: spiritist ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 06:18PM

I was ward mission ldr. for awhile.

I went on a handful of splits and significantly critiqued the missionaries and their techniques.

1. I was normally going to other wards ------ sorry not my calling! That stopped really fast.

2. The miss. nearly lit a 'druggy's house' on fire with some demonstration of the Holy Ghost. I told the ward and stake and it got to the Mission Pres. ----- no more 'holy ghost' demonstrations in our ward and probably the mission.

3. I complained they were 'spirit less' the lessons were 'clearly' memorized and me and investigators were falling asleep. Never any discussions with the investigators. How could they when the miss. put them to sleep?

Result after a few months: I was released from ward mission leader and the miss. that I complained the most about went to the Mission home one becoming the 'assistant to the Pres.'.

All is well that ends well!

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: January 18, 2017 08:39PM

Yes! An elder with a Boner, we were quite effective.

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