I just got back from visiting with Mom and she seems to be in a decent mom today. She is still a bit loopy which is causing some concern for my sister in law. Mom is not actually liking the facility to well. The facility itself is a complete 180 to what their home health care is like. Mom is wanting a transfer to something closer to home. They have not done anything with mom since she got there. All she has done was lay in bed the whole time which is not a good thing when you are already have two bed sores. Not only that, they have not even attended to a sore that she has on the bottom of her foot and she has been there since Thursday after.

Tomorrow, they are start her physical therapy and my sister in law says that if she is not satisfy with what is going on with that, she is going to be having mom moved to a facility closer to home. My brother wants my home but that is not going to work because she can't even get up and transfer from a bed to a chair yet.

Hi Kativicky, my Mom dealt with bed sores. They have to be attended to immediately. My Mom had refused to move and the sores developed quickly. Eventually, one became horrific and was staged as a #4. The facility needs to provide your Mom with a wound nurse, antibiotics, and to encourage her to move, otherwise, the sores will quickly worsen. I'm not saying this to scare you, but your Dad needs to get on this right away and encourage her to move even if she lashes out.

When you go in to the facility, ask to see an administrator and then ask that person what are the policies, laws, and reporting required. That ought to put some pressure on them to start helping.

Your Mom needs to move, remind her that the sores will get worse and develop gangrene. My own Mom eventually needed a pump in one to cleanse it.

Pressure sores are entirely treatable and preventable. I'm so sorry your family is going through this!

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Make sure that you stay on this with the facility administrators.

When my mom needed a nursing home for a number of weeks following her stroke, I chose the closest one to our home. While not being the best regarded in our area, it had a decent quality of care. I was able to visit her every day and keep an eye on her progress. I think that meant a lot to us both.

Yeah, we are not happy about them not helping mom with the bed sores. There is one of her foot that she got from over the summer that we have been trying to deal with and it was getting better but I am scared that it will get worse because the facility is not looking after it. My sister in law had me send her a list of the medications that mom is getting because she has been so loopy the last few days because of the concern of her being over medicated with pain medications. I was looking over the list and there was a note on their stating that she was to be transferred from bed to a chair during the day and it hasn't happened which I wasn't happy about. I told my sister in law about the notation and she was also concerned about it.

We are going to wait to see what they do tomorrow and go from there. If we are not happy with what is going on, SIL is going to have mom transfer somewhere that will be a better fit for mom.

Kativiky , I live in Missouri now , but most of my life was spent in Utah. I have worked for 3 Utah Nursing Home Association Presidents. I don't know if you are in Utah or not , but most Nursing Home Association's are governed the same. If your Mother's Bed sores ( Decubitus ulcers ) don't appear to be started with treatment the VERY next time you visit her , REPORT THE NURSING HOME !! THIS is unacceptable , along with the fact that, they should be getting her up every single day unless she is really ill or dying. Then other measures are taken. I used to be sent to check nursing homes who received lots of complaints. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen. This is your Mother you are talking about. Don't hesitate to fight for her rights. I grew up by the Director of the Salt Lake City Health Dept & we used to swap health dept./ nursing Homes stories. He'd always say if you have complaints........we have health inspectors go out & if they validate anyone's complaints , they act on it immediately. ( My job was to inspect the care given by the nurses and general care by everyone to the patients. Bed sores can be hell to clear up ~~~ act on it immediately. YOU are your Mothers best warrior.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2017 04:29AM by nitrameequc.

If it is not taken cared of by tomorrow morning, they are going to have some problems because my sister in law and I were really abominate about it happening because she has been there since Thursday afternoon. We have worked very hard getting the sore on her foot healed up and I don't want all that progress to go to waste. I am extremely unhappy with the care that she is getting there and it is an complete 180 from the care she was getting with them through their home health care services. They are suppose to start her therapy tomorrow which I don't understand why they didn't start Friday since she was getting therapy at the hospital. Like I said earlier, all she has done for the last 3 days was lay in bed when she could at least be getting up and sitting in a chair.

If we don't like what happens tomorrow, we are going through the process of getting her moved to another facility that is going to be willing to be more attentive with their patients and their needs.

(((You and your mom)))

Very well said! Topping for Kativicky!

So Mom is not a happy person this morning. She just called the house wanting dad to bring her home. I am not even sure she started therapy yet. AND they have even change the damn bandage on her foot. So I am going to be making some phone calls because she is not quite ready to come home yet but there is no way we can keep her at this facility. Dad is getting ready to go up there and I am going to make sure that the first thing that he does is to make sure they change mom's bandages. Call my SIL and told her about all this and she definitely thinks that she needs a few more days somewhere before coming home.

It sounds like the nursing home isn't living up to the standards that NC has in place, or should have in place, for residents in those facilities.

I'd be trying to remove your mom from there ASAP, if at all possible. Whoever has the POA or legal guardianship to do so. Make sure it's done legally so the state doesn't usurp your rights to her access.

Then file a complaint w/NC nursing home health department. They should be informed of the neglect ongoing there. If it's happening to your mom, you can believe it's pervasive.

My sister in law and I have been working on getting mom to another facility that is closer to home that is willing to actually take care of her instead of leaving her in bed all day. SIL has tried to call her this afternoon but she hasn't answered her cell phone and she doesn't have an actually room phone that we can call. I am not very happy about what is going on and I am going to have to do a little research about filing an complaint about this place because I don't want this happening to someone else.

So in order for my not to go loco on my poor dad and SIL, I have to vent about the current issue that I just had to deal with about poor mom. My mom is in a very altered state and no one knows why. Her meds list that I was given yesterday matches up with her list here at home. I talked to mom and she sounds horrible which is very troubling. She had the surgery last Sunday and was transferred to rehab on Thursday so there is something terrible wrong somewhere and SIL and I can't figure it out. I had to call EMS to go and get her and take her back to the hospital. SIL is on her way there now. Not only am I pissed out of my mind, but I also don't understand why she is in the state she is in. She was doing well until she was transferred to rehab so something in happening there.

Well, it sounds like she will get a thorough evaluation at the hospital. And when she is released, she can be released to another rehabilitation facility.

I agree. I am starting to worry about infection somewhere

We have mom at the hospital now and we will not be returning to that rehab facility again. I will keep you updated once we know what we got going

Thanks for the updates. She may have something simple like a UTI that's causing problems. Along with the other posters, I feel that your family is handling this very well--a thorough evaluation, then to a better skilled nursing facility.

We support you and are glad that our collective good will helps you deal with the frustration. (((HUGS)))

Very glad to read that your mom's in the hospital. I went through something similar with my mom and it is complicated, time-consuming, and heart-wrenching. I only wanted to murder about seven people--I would have argued in court that it wasn't really murder because they weren't really human beings.

Please keep us posted as you are able. Here you have a place to vent and seek advice.

And tell Mom some friends are pulling for her!

I want to thank you for all your kind words and allowing me to vent. I have been so mad with what has been going on with the the rehab place.

Mom is going up to the ICU tonight. She has a really bad infection somewhere. Hopefully we will fine out where it is soon. SIL will be staying with her tonight and dad and I are going home for the night.

good 4 you !!

I just got some news about mom. She is bleeding somewhere in her lower intestines somewhere and they are not sure where it is yet but they sound like they are being very aggressive about treating it. My SIL says she has been out for most of the night and morning so at least I know she is sleeping.

So when we finally got her to the ER, she had a fever and her blood pressure was in the 70's which is extremely low yet the nurses at the rehab place said that she was fine. This right here makes me very angry so today's project is to find the people who I need to find and have this place reported. Not only that, they refuse to believe that my SIL is one of my mom's power of attorney's and refuse to do anything at all.

That's maddening! So sorry this is not going well and you're getting grief from those who should be helping!

Glad she's in better hands now.

Katvicki, the infections and bleeding were probably causing the loopiness. The waiting for information and diagnosis is very difficult. My best wishes for you and your family.

My SIL and I had that feeling yesterday before we got her to the Hospital because she was really out of her mind. We knew something was wrong the whole time she was in the rehab center because she was getting more loopy as time went on and her meds didn't change at all while she was there. I did find the place where I can make a complaint about the facility and I am going to type and work on that this afternoon.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/24/2017 11:55AM by kativicky.

In Illinois you can report abuse and negligence to Ombudsman. Not sure about other states but I'm sure they all have something very similar. My mother was in a "place" like the one you describe and it was literally the death of her. I wish I would had kept more documentation so I could sue their asses off. The patient nor the children should have to endure these things. I pray to God that I never end up in a nursing home. I don't have any children so don't even have anyone to watch over my welfare. Watch over your mama and get her to a safe place. The bed sores got so bad on my mother's backside when she was bedridden from a bone break that her skin was rotting and falling off. Get your Mom away from that place pronto and file a COMPLAINT.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Stand up for your mother. If necessary cause a scene. She can't advocated for herself right now and you and your SIL are doing the right thing.

I almost got a Social Worker fired at a hospital when my Mom was sick. She wanted to send her home (Mom lived alone) after being in bed for 18 weeks and having 4 surgeries. Why? It was taking too long to find a bed at a nursing home I approved of. So, I called the top one on my list, found out this woman had never called and raised hell. Mom was transferred to my selection the next day. Was 16 years ago and still makes me livid.

Call your state and report that facility. They should have spotted the issue and sent her back.

I got an update about mom. She has something called Ischemic colitis which is a result of her body not getting enough blood to her intestines because of her blood pressure dropping so low for to long at the rehab place. We found out that because of this, part of her intestines have been damaged which is not good with her already having Crohns disease. All I want to do right now is cry because this could possibly kill her.

I'm so sorry, Kativicky. So sorry. (((Hug)))

In time, you may wish to consult a lawyer about this. Document everything.

This is very stressful for you and your family. I wish you the best.

Sounds like another facility might be better for her.

Good luck.

It's okay to cry, Kativicky, but things may get better. The doctors now have a diagnosis and your Mom isn't being ignored. Big ((((hugs))))!

So mom is going okay today. My SIL text me this morning saying that mom was awake and asking about my dad and whether or not I am making sure that the cats are being taken care of. It is a good sign but we still have a long road ahead of us and anything can come and disrupt this.

Glad to hear, that at least for the moment, things are good.
I do understand the caution, though.

I'll echo what angela said. Keep us updated.

It is so difficult to have to deal with this kind of problem. I hope that your mother does continue to improve, now that she has better medical care.

Please, ask all of the family members involved to document everything. Write everything down and date it (both the date that something happened , and the date that you wrote it down), if there is no printed copy. As summer says, legal assistance may well be appropriate at some point. And right away, documentation for your complaints will be essential to be sure that the complaints are not just swept under the carpet.

kativicky, my best wishes for your mother, and also for you.

Yesterday mom had a great day considering what she just went through. Her mind is back enough to where she wants to do her sudoko puzzles and read her books on her kindle. And they even had her up and in a chair for a while. She is not out of the woods yet, but this is a very good sign.

I am planning to go she her tomorrow so I will have a better idea of how she is doing.

Indeed, that is a good sign. I hope that she continues to improve.

This is wonderful news Kativicky! Health, healing, and happiness for you and your family!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2017 01:42PM by BYU Boner.

I'm so sorry your dear mother is going through all of this. I have been through this with both of my parents,and both of my in laws. You are facing our country's nursing home crisis head on and it is devastatingly incompetent. Fight as best you can, advocate for her constantly and file complaints...I wish I could tell you that all of this is enough.