If the lawn wasn't baptized before its untimely demise, hopefully the bishop will arrange to have it dead-dunked. (I don't know about you, but for me the Celestial Kingdom just isn't the same without a nice bright green heavily fertilized and well-manicured lawn to ease my eye and reinforce my self-esteem.)
Does this lawn have a name? If so I can submit it to the nearest Temple and have it placed into the magic prayer bag. Maybe we can bring it back to life?
...I will through the veil. Health in the roots. Marrow in the fescue. Power in the sprinkler be upon me and upon my bluegrass through all seasons of time and throughout all mowing season.
>That is correct. Knock, knock, knock. "What is wanted?" John Deere, having been true and faithful in all things, desires to enter the Lawn's presence. "Let him enter"
John Deere proceeds to frolic in the manicured fescue...
Sounds like he's gone down the rabbit hole of no return lol.
The church drove him to madness!
His behavior is extreme and bizarre to say the least.
I'm not sure who to feel worse for, him or his bishop? Making death threats is not a rational response to not getting an ecclesiastical indorsement to the college of his choice.
The lawn didn't do everything it could to protect itself from the attack, so it has to bear some of the blame for it.
Now, the lawn is in the spirit prison yard.
While there, the lawn will have time to reflect upon its earthly actions and repent of its sins and wrong doings.
If the lawn is truly repentant, and comes before the lord with a broken root and a contrite stalk to ask forgiveness.....the lord will sent a righteous TBM family swindle the house out from under the bishop that caused all the trouble in the first place.
And the new TBM family will make their priest quorum president son water the dead lawn, yea verily a baptism for the dead, that the dead might rise again and be whole and receive its glory.
at the end of the article it states that the 30 year old claimed the 'altercation' was the bishop assaulting HIM and he has now resigned from the church.
Methinks he and bishop's daughter may have done something she felt guilty about, or she twisted some circumstances, or allowed her father to incorrectly misinterpret something she said - why else would he express a desire to hurt both of them? I would wager she confessed something, daddy interrogates man and assaults him (probably finger jabbing or pushing or something similar to begin with), denies him his application (actually did him a favour there) and probably caused untold problems for the young lad in ways only bishops can.
My son and his friends crashed into onee of the bishop's walkway lights, and broke the bulb, and the bishop demanded that my son son to pay him $2,000. The other boys got off the hook, because they had Mormon fathers. The bishop claimed that my son destroyed his whole lighting system. I went over there with an attorney I was dating, and we found other broken and missing bulbs up by the doorway, a missing lamp, corrosion and water damage inside the lamps, and rusted broken wires, proving that the lights probably hadn't worked for many years. I handed the bishop a light bulb, and told him I was not going to pay for him to have a new lighting system.
I wonder why my story wasn't in the Deseret News?
Exactly what chemical did the guy use to kill the bishop's lawn, and where do you get it?
It could've been as simple as lawn stalker buying a bottle of weed killer, then spraying the whole lawn with it. That will kill grass, not only the weeds.
they (LDS Inc) used to have to pull every underhanded gimmick they could come up with to get some people to go to that Piss Poor post High school seminary posing as a college. It was such a crappy school and crappy arrangement that CES sister school BYU would not even accept a lot of credits from it. state schools had a big problem with Rick's credits too, just as they should. There are several substantive examples I could give, but in summary, Ricks college, just like so much of the rest of MORmONISM and LDS inc institutions and programs, is basically a SCAM.
wow there are some strange comments on this board this morning. This victim was getting stalked, getting death threats on facebook. The boy hates the mormon church and was taking it out on one man apparently.
It's like if a Syrian hates America and decides to do acts of terrorism against a white girl. Is this ok?
poopstone Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It's like if a Syrian hates America and decides to > do acts of terrorism against a white girl. Is this > ok?
Really, it's like that? A lawn is like a white girl (though for the life of me I can't imagine what a girl's skin color would have to do with any of this)?
It was a lawn. And there's enough in the story to implicate the bishop in being an ass. That doesn't mean he "deserved" it, and destruction of somebody else's property is always a crime... but this was a minor crime that has a lot of humor potential. Against a lawn.
So, if both the lawn and the family dog go to the CK, where does the dog poop? On the lawn? That doesn't sound very heavenly from the lawn's point of view.
I found it very interesting that the Criminal Mischief charge was a felony, but Stalking is only a misdemeanor. I suspect that's because more women are victims of stalking than men, and Mormons have the "she did something to deserve it" attitude that likely overflows into Utah's criminal code.