I just know with the way they think and never give up and never back down that they are never going to lay down and quit and I'm never going to live a normal life because it will always continue till the day I die if I have children they are going to go after my children and that pisses me off so much just to think about. No way in hell I'm letting what happened to me happen to them I'll take down the whole church myself ill figure out a way somehow. But its just an observation I had over the week I'm just never going to be happy when mormonism is pushed so strong around me constantly its drowning my thoughts of my future. People just let people live their religions well I can't because they constantly try to convert the kids so I gotta be aggressive against mormonism in the future its a problem. Its something that I just can't sit back and just let happen especially if I have kids that changes the game entirely cause then I care more. Does any of this make sense to anybody?

They do target kiddies who have had the mormon blessing ritual done to them as infants. They will go after any nonmo or exmo kid walking home from school or playing in the yard, but they don't usually send them gifts and invitations or knock on the door asking for them. Parents can always step in and tell mormons to stay away from their homes and their kids.

Uuh I'm worried about my parents targeting them not just the church Its going to be a war to protect my kids if I ever have them I just know it. But I gotta fall in love first which is another thing I never learned how to love properly growing up they screwed that up as well.

You will have to set boundaries with your parents, when you have kids. They will want to have the grandparent relationship with the kids. That is great if they can do that lovingly and within your boundaries. If they won't honor your wishes, it will help if you can live far away from them. Relax, you'll do fine.

stop worrying about something long before it has even happened - that's a mormon instilled behaviour.

As you say, you are unmarried and have no kids so why are you wasting energy worrying about how your parents may or may not treat these non-existent youngsters at some time in the distant future? You have quite some time to lay down the law to your folks about how to treat you, then when you do meet your lady-wife, you will lay down the law about how they treat her and finally, if they have not learned yet, you lay down the law if and when kids arrive.

Live now, don't worry about a future that is not even close yet: deal with what you have going on now and cross bridges when you come to them and see what state they are in. Becoming a parent is a normal part of life, leaving a religious cult behind is not. Deal with the matter at hand so you can then move forward to getting closer to dealing with other more 'normal' parts of life.

Keep in mind that your parents are brainwashed cultists without the benefit of the amount of information available that you had. It is not really their fault they behave the way they do, no matter how infuriating it might appear. You can be cross with them for trusting and believing and indoctrinating your, however, getting cross doesn't really solve anything, nor does it do your health any good. Alternatively, you can thank your lucky stars that you have had your eyes opened and will be ending the cycle of fear by not indoctrinating your kids.

You are correct in the title of the op that your life is not over, but the church has not completely ruined your life since you are still young and are not even midway through yet (by estimate). Sure, the church has been and will probably continue to be a massive influence in your life (thorn in your side?), but your life is in no way ruined: you have shaken off those chains that kept you in the bondage that is mental slavery.

I was determined to also keep the freaks from my kids also. Worked most of the time. TBM Inlaws still tried to throw in a blow when they could and a bigshit tried scaring the hell out of two of my daughters but it back fired on him. (I didn't learn of his attempts until years later, lucky for him.) Kids are all out of the Cult and have joined the light side with me. Love it!

Just be vigilant and in keep the boundaries in place and as secure as possible. Sometimes the best thing to do is to completely cease contact or restrict it to a bare minimum.

Good Luck

I, a nevermo at BYU married an RM TBM. We moved to a small northern UT town surrounded by his TBM family. Mormonism was sort of manageable since I was my own person and could hold my own with TBM's. After son was born things began to go downhill. I suddenly developed this (what at first I thought to be) unreasonable dislike and anxiety around my MIL. I realized I was experiencing fear but was unable to identify (even though the reason was staring me in the face). It took me a while to come to grips with what was going on but after taking a step back from the situation I realized what was going on. I realized she was after my kid (yes, I know that sounds paranoid) of course she didn't want to take possession physically (although among her promises of "helping" after his birth her-none of which she acted upon, she had suggested leaving the baby at her house for a few nights after we came home from the hospital(!?). She was, however, after his soul and that became crystal clear to me as time went on. Things went on for a few more years-as our eldest approached school-age the mother bear really came out in me. DH and I realized how it would be for our kids to go to school in a small town that was 99.9% Mormon and we packed up and got out of dodge.

The church can't get your kids unless you let them. Help them make lots of non Mormon friends and do not allow them to participate in any Mormon activities. Teach them critical thinking skills. If you are in a Mormony area, teach them the real church history.

Move away from Mormon populated areas / states. Problem solved..

Okay, Bro, it's time we talk about where the bear shits in the woods :) First, the church didn't ruin your life and mind--they fucked with it. They fucked with mine, and probably everyone else's here too. That's what Mormonism does.

You, Adam, have figured it out. And, the Morg can only fuck with you if you let it. You're not going to let it do that any more. You don't have to be a jerk about it, I have many TBMs that I work with and are am friendly to. Most know I have taken a different path. If they judge me for that, fuck them!

Yeah, I know I'm an old fart, I'm about twice as old as you. But, what you don't know is that I was about your age when I figured it out. My problem was that I was temple-married with kids and the Morg tried to get to me through them.

Even though I probably lost a wife, I gained wonderful relationships with all my children, including the one on the mission right now. I've never shoved my opinions and experiences with Mormonism in their faces because, Bro, they wouldn't have listened. That's right! They wouldn't have given a fuck as to what I said--that's the nature of folks in their late teens and early 20s. How do I know this? Well, guess what, a lot of folks tried to talk me out of Mormonism and only my experiences and maturity enabled me to see how dangerous and destructive the cult was in my life.

So far, all my children are moderate TBMs. The boys sometimes ditch the garments, get involved with edgy music, cuss, and still hug and kiss me. The girls think I'm the best grandpa and Dad that ever was. Sometimes they tell me with struggles they're having with church policies (esp. for LGBTQ people). I listen, they're in their 20s, they'll figure it out. But, because I've not been a jerk to them, they'll feel free to talk with me when they do.

So, let's be clear on this BADASSADAM, you are one amazing man who is figuring things out very quickly. Like all of us, you've been hurt and have things in your life that have been out of control. Okay, that comes with being a human. You're in recovery for whatever issues there are. You NEVER have to share anything you don't want to share. There are things about me I'd never share here.

You have made yourself a very welcome, funny, and powerful voice here on RfM. You have already reflected maturity and a broader world view than I possessed at your age. You, friend, are truly fucking awesome and I look forward to reading about your successes, struggles, and ultimate recovery from a cult that hurt you and others very much. The Senior Citizen's Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2017 04:32PM by BYU Boner.

Damn Boner I feel like I can take on the whole God damn world right now.

:) Adam, that thought make me happy! The Bone.

I agree with Pathfinder that you should strongly consider moving away from a Mormon part of the country when you are able. Where I live (central Maryland,) absolutely no one cares about your religion. There are lots of areas like that. Western Washington or western Oregon would still put you fairly close to family while removing the Mormon influence. I think that you would find living in a non-Mormon area to be refreshing.

I have thought about Arizona its less dense with Mormons than Idaho I think, and I have friends there so it may be a good option

AZ has some strongholdings with a whole lotta Mormons. When I moved to Yuma, I thought for sure I escaped them, and nope! Still infiltrating all over the place. The bigger cities are better, though. Even NM has a lot of Mormons, especially in the Corners area.

You're probably right I haven't been there in four years but I don't really know anybody in any other states I'd be going blind basically which isn't too bad of an idea.