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Posted by: themaster ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 08:15AM

I have finally reached the stage of perfection where I no longer masturbate. I can watch porn and have no need to masturbate. For the first time in my life I can truly answer the Bishop's question if I masturbate. I am free, free at last of this horrible addictive sin, I can now hold my head high while taking the Sacrament for I am finally able to be truthful.

Only slightly truthful, all the damm medicines I take - all of them have listed as a side effect reduces Sex drive. WTF actually no fuck And no alcohol. What kind of life is this?

I might as well be an active Mormon. At least all their preaching against sex will remind me of the good times I used to have. I still have my memories.

Dang - what was I going to write? I seem to be forgetting stuff which is also a side effect.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/04/2017 01:38PM by themaster.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 09:26AM

themaster Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can watch porn and
> have no need to madturbate. For the first time in
> my life I can truly answer the Bishop's question
> if I madturbate. I am free...

So you are no longer the MASTERbater?

Dear friend, pornography is still sinful, dangerous, addictive, and DEADLY! Forsake your smut collection, change all your on-line porn passwords to gibberish, and rip them all into tiny pieces. Here, poor afflicted sinner, is proof positive that PORN KILLS!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4278524/Man-dies-six-ton-pile-porn-magazines.html

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 10:03AM

A friend told me last night that a doctor told a woman friend of his it was good for her. Its part of hygiene, like brushing her teeth. I tend to believe professionals, over amateurs, fools and master manipulators.

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Posted by: dodo ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 10:08AM

I applaud themaster and I too can truthfully say that I haven't madturbated since last Thursday morning when I woke up to a magnificent glorious woody that I just couldn't ignore. As for the going back to church part, naw, I'll keep my church handshakes to myself.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 10:12AM

dodo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'll keep my church handshakes to myself.

Can we consider masturbation a secret handshake with one's own self?

Strange BYU Boner hasn't weighed in on this thread...

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Posted by: themaster ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 01:43PM

Perhaps BYU Boner is busy - dang - forgot what it was. Mormonism just does that.

I am going to church tomorrow so I can get my 70 minute nap in. Nothing puts me to sleep as quickly as Sacrament Meeting. Is tomorrow Fast & Testimony? No church for me. That is just too boring.

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Posted by: getbusylivin ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 01:51PM

I still masturbate. However, I stopped wearing neckties.

So, these things have a way of evening out.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 03:00PM

Not only can you go to the temple, but you won't have to wash your hands before going to the veil.

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Posted by: kairos ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 03:04PM

Bishop to young man: david do you have a problem with masturbation?

Young man: No, bishop i dont it works great everytime- do you have problem?

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Posted by: incognitotoday ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 04:01PM

Your carpal tunnel syndrome will improve quickly. Serendipity!

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 04:53PM

So, I log on and what to I see...

I'm going to answer this seriously, if anyone if you is offended by men talking about their bodies and being men, I suggest that you quit reading...

First, Master, I greatly enjoy your sense of humor, goofiness, irreverence, etc. But, in this post, I suspect that there may be something going on, so here goes.

Some things you probably don't know about me. Due to cancers, treatments, and surgeries my little factory has to go through some big downsizing and upgrades. I doubt that what I have to say will be hardly news, but you might feel some camaraderie with this.

My body no longer has the ability to ejaculate. It's difficult for me to get and sustain erections. Part of it is age, much of it is treatments and surgeries.

A couple of years ago, I finally had a talk with my TBM, RM urologist who saved my life. I talked with him about lack of semen and no ejaculations. He informed me that for many men, this was not an issue, but for many other men, it was. He suggest the name of a therapist who could help me sort things out. So, I'm going to share this with you--

1. Loss of libido may be due to low testosterone levels. Mine are so low, I get weekly shots. My libido is not at all like when I was 17 (a good thing), but the T helps with depression, muscle mass, mental health, and general well being. It also helps me feel like a man (more on that below). So, Bro, get your T levels checked. If they're low, get your ass shots and you may feel a lot better.

2. Men have a lot of interest in our bodies and have a great curiosity about how we love and reproduce. What I learned about me was that like most men, I'm interested in my semen. Sexual studies have revealed that some men don't like the feel, look, or clean up associated with emission. They are in the minority. Most men, myself included, see our semen as part of being a man and we like to see it. And (mild shock) many men have tasted our own semen. Mormonism taught us that even talking about this was extremely sinful. We were made to feel that we were unnatural perverts, far from what scientific studies have revealed. Humans are biological creatures and reproduction is a biological function (see, you already knew that!). And, as a believer in
God, I have a healthy sense of the beauty of my body and my god-created sexuality.

With counseling, I had to get comfortable with the FACT that my body was not going to spasm and ejaculate. I also had to realize that although I missed it, semen was only one small facet of being a guy.

3. Watching and jacking off to porn may have effects for older men. Why? Watching porn causes the body to produce large amounts of endorphins that we find pleasurable. However, eventually, the body figures things out, and what initially gave us a big shot of endorphins no longer does that. Scientists simply do not have enough longitudinal data to develop scientific theories as to the long-term use of porn on the brain, impacts on social structures, and effects for older men and women.

4. I'm at the age where porn no longer gets me aroused. Part of it is satiation, the other is I'm no longer able to fantasize about things that never have been nor never were. Even as a young guy, porn was attractive because to me because it was forbidden fruit. And it was an outlet for my repressed Mormon sexuality.

5. Cialis and Viagra may give me erections, but they don't affect libido.

So, Master, here's my serious suggestion--if you're are, in fact, concerned about the things that you alluded to in your post, get into a urologist and get your T-levels checked. If they're low, get replacement therapy. If you have libido but not boners, challis or viagra will help (personally, I don't use them because of headaches associated with the meds). If your wife/partner is open to it, I also suggest you buy a vibrator. It's a lot of fun when you may need a little help.

If you have concerns about libido, aging, being a guy, etc get some counseling. Seriously, our generation went through many major social changes regarding human sexuality and those changes are far from over.

The last thing, Bro...define what it means to be a man to you.

For me, I like being a man. I like that my body is more muscular than my wife's. I like having a low voice. I have facial hair because I can grow it. And yes, Master, I love that bulge in my Levi's! But, that bulge really isn't that important.

To me, part of being a man is caring about other men and women. Because of my job and interests, I associate with a lot of people. Younger men like having older mentors. I'm friends and a mentor to a lot of younger men I work with. Mentoring is being available when they need to talk, telling them they're fucking awesome when they're down, celebrating their successes, and being a genuine guy who has made it into geezerhood and just wants nothing more than to listen, drink beer, cuss, and cheer the younger generation on. Along the way, I find myself happy when some of the guys tell me I've made a difference.

Being a guy isn't being mean or rude to women, children, or those more vulnerable. Being a real man means loving life, smiling, helping others, getting choked up with intimacy with a guy's significant other. I love ballet, opera, symphony, romance, dogs, literature, trucks, beer, friends, and long great talks! Fuckin-A!!!!

You, Master, have been a gift for us here with your vulgarisms, humor, earthiness, and irreverence. If this post was too over the top, you know what you can tell me. And, Bro, I'd respond that you know that that is anatomically impossible!

Here's to older men and women who know who we are and that we have wonderful younger people in our lives whom we care about!

The Old Wanker's Boner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/04/2017 05:11PM by BYU Boner.

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Posted by: themaster ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 05:18PM

Wow BYU Boner - that was awesome.

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Posted by: badassadam ( )
Date: March 04, 2017 05:28PM

I hear you brother I hardly masturbate either and I'm worried about myself I too take a few meds with side affects.

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