When I was married to an abusive TBM I thought about running away. I was TBM also. I saw a scenio of getting my records moved, old bishop contacted by new bishop. I was afraid old bishop would tell Ex where I was. Thought about just acting like a convert and getting rebaptized under an alias. I just left him and become inactive. I wonder if anyone else has been thru this?

This is very interesting. I had not previously thought about how Mormon lack of respect for privacy and the whole inter-relatedness of records, wards and bishops would make it so much harder for an abuse victim to get away from their abuser.

There is an entire church apparatus for tracking down inactive members that could expose a victims hiding place to their abuser. I wonder how many victims have been found by their abusers with the help (wittingly or unwittingly) of the Mormon Church.

This would make a fascinating article.

Why don't you simply pack your bags, leave and not tell anyone where you're headed off to? Get a new phone and delete old email accounts. You can always hire a divorce attorney to send him divorce papers without giving away where you are (guaranteed under the attorney-client privilege).

EDIT: I just came across this on RFM. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2016/11/25/delete-internet-website/



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2017 02:32PM by canary21.

I'm older now, retired, and don't have any real worries in my life anymore. However, during the entire time I was submerged in the cesspool of mormonism I always looked forward to the second coming of Jesus or simply running away and starting over somewhere. I totally think I could have started a new life somewhere and not tell a single soul anything about my past. I fantasized about this a lot. I would keep a low profile, find a job, and have absolutely no contact with anyone from where I came from.

Looking back now I can see that a big part of this thinking was fueled by the mighty morg and all of the destructive influences it heaps upon it's followers. Keeping a follower in line is done by keeping the follower repressed. The morg has perfected this to a fine science. I no longer wish to escape, I'm perfectly happy sipping my morning coffee and wondering what is for lunch.

Escaping abuse can be a challenging and daunting task, However escaping the morg is easier if you are willing & ready to pay the price. There could be a whole thread about Paying the Price of Spiritual Freedom.

I work as an advocate for victims of domestic violence. My service area has a few Mormons in it (enough for two wards). The only encounters I've had with Mormons on a professional level were three 16 year old girls who were drugged and raped by an 18 year old in the ward (as a sidenote, their parents dragged them to the Bishop first, and the Bishop told them not to go to law enforcement because their report would ruin the rest of the 18 year old's life. One of the girls' non-Mormon friends was also drugged and raped, she came forward and eventually convinced her friends to as well. By then the 18 year old was on a foreign mission, but he will return to this town someday).

I've helped several women relocate so that the offender cannot find them. It never occurred to me that a TBM woman would likely immediately reach out to her new local ward. I don't know why it didn't -- after all, I was raised that way. It was drilled in my head from Primary that the first place you go is church. I am definitly keeping this in mind if a TBM victim comes in my door. She needs to know not to go to the new local ward, because odds are good they will rat her out, or at the very least, want her records transferred, which makes her discoverable.

For me, this was one of the many reasons I resigned, as I went inactive as soon as I filed the divorce papers against my abusive TBM ex-husband. I resigned before the divorce was final, as I realized that if I moved, he could find out where I was through ward or stake records.

Clever.

So, while petition for a divorce and walk out on him, resign. Don't tell anyone where you're moving to like I said before. You don't want calls from bishops in your new area. You definitely do not want people getting into your personal life and business either.

This is an excellent point. The Mormon church's insistence on tracking members at all costs could have dire consequences for someone escaping an abuser.

You do NOT have to tell your new local leaders your real name or any other personal, identifying information. As other posters have warned, they WILL rat you out to your ex or at the very least, he will be able to get the info.

Better idea: take this opportunity to dissociate yourself from Mormonism as well as your ex -- they're both abusive.