Oh hey! Nice of you to ask. It's going okay for now... for the calling, I've just been trying to bring up little things during meetings and classes, like how women aren't a lesser species, and questions about things in the bible that contradict lds teachings, to hopefully make some of them open their eyes a bit. I make sure all of it can be backed up well. I don't think anyone suspects anything because I'm just your friendly neighborhood mormon girl. We had our seminary classes rearranged this semester, and I now have it with my apostate buddy, which is nice. Smooth sailing for now. I'm going to see if I can convince my parental unit to let me skip out on seminary next year. I can give more updates if anything big happens. Thank you for the thought! :)
It's only been a month since I told my oldest that I no longer believe. She is seventeen and that helped her tell me she's been agnostic for three years.
But I am proud to say that even before this I agreed to her stopping seminary after Christmas break. I'd asked her to give it a chance and she did and didn't want to continue and I kept my word.
I am proud of her for thinking for herself!
Kudos to you, Ruby, for doing the same!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2017 04:38AM by windyway.
It was relatively easy because we talk and are rather close. I started by mentioning being troubled by doubts. I described the process and she was extremely receptive.
On the other hand, it was different for my fifteen year old son. He was extremely disturbed by my doubting and he exhorted me to seek answers in the Church. We then talked for an hour and basically each had a chance to respectfully stake out our positions. He is a very obedient, dutiful kid who deeply studies the scriptures. I cannot blame him for being disturbed and disappointed! I also think his age and Asperger's makes it hard to think in nuance.
My thirteen year old daughter was shocked and asked me to repeat, but then interested and sympathetic. My twelve year old daughter listened and didn't seem bothered.
In each case I waited to speak privately with each child. I haven't told my ten year old son yet...I think that can wait and I think he is picking up on things already and I want to let him process privately first. My six year old twins will be thrilled to not go to church.
I forgot to say: in each case I emphasized with each kid that they are allowed to believe what they want , to still go to Church, that we would take them when we could, etc...
In the case of my 12-year-old, the subject came up because she thought my green tea was herbal tea. I corrected her and handed her the herbal tea. That night, she asked about it and I said I would tell her later. Shortly after I explained to her my doubts. She didn't ask much so I kept it short and simple. But I did explain to her (and later her 13-year-old sister) that since they had temple recommends and were using them, I wanted them to be know to be able to choose whether or not to drink the tea. I said, that even though my beliefs are (presumably) now different then theirs, I still want them to live with integrity, so if they're promised to keep the WoW, I think they should.
I also explained that I am figuring out what to do at church gradually.
That said, we live in the mission field, far away from any TBM family. Granted, our closest friends are three TBM families we love very much, who love us. I'm pretty sure they'll stay friends after they know, but of course the uncertainty is there....anyways, we don't have the same kind of pressures that many other LDS families have.
Yet I am not looking forward to telling my parents. I think I will start out with my approach of "I've been having doubts," and then feel my way through the rest according to their response. I don't need to spill it out all at once. But it's touchy...we have our family reunion in a few months and I don't want to steal the show by dropping the bomb then.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2017 03:07PM by windyway.
I do have some plans... I'm trying to get a good GPA and ACT score so I can get good scholarships, probably to an in state school. Luckily I'm not a guy so I won't be expected to go on a mission, thank goodness haha. I don't plan on telling my family I'm not mormon until after high school, since it's risky. And canary, I'm not sure when she stopped believing, but I don't think she has background knowlege or knows anything about church history... it seems like she just wanted a boyfriend and didn't like going to church and that was enough for her. Better than nothing, though. Thanks for the concern c: