Posted by:
Breeze
(
)
Date: March 16, 2017 02:40PM
This happened to me, too. My children and I resigned together, about 9 years ago. My parents were deceased. My in-laws were critical of me, when we were still members, and blamed me for my husband's "inactivity." My SIL was a fanatic, and used to criticize my parents for not going to the temple, and for not wearing their garments. She criticized me for not having perfect church attendance. What I'm saying is that the nastiest relatives were already nasty, even before we resigned from the cult.
One side of our family is headed by a prominent GA, and at one of their funerals, Gordon B. Hinckley, himself, said that he was looking to our family to provide future General Authorities. My cousins are all bishops, stake presidents, mission presidents, temple presidents, etc. It is an over-the-top arrogant, wealthy GA family.
The exact thing happened to me, that happened to you, except no one sent me any e-mails. They just cut me off completely. They wouldn't speak to me at funerals and weddings. At first, no one knew we had resigned, but one of the cousins is in our ward, and I could see the difference in behavior, when someone found out. Now, I don't receive any reunion invitations or Christmas cards. They have an annual luncheon for women, and I'm not invited to that, either.
It might make you feel better (though a little angry) to know that this is Standard Operating Procedure for Mormons. It is not personal. It is all about their beloved church, and not about you at all.
Your relatives don't know you. President Monson, himself called those who leave: "The lazy, the offended, those wanting to sin." Do you understand--the Prophet himself has defined who you are! Those who have left have been accused of "being under the influence of Satan." We will even go to a lesser heaven, where we will not see our children or spouses, and will be separated from our families. (Strange they believe this, when they be baptized and sealed for you when you die, thus giving you the chance....but not much in Mormonism makes sense.
Is this the Christian way to treat family? NO! Are you being overly sensitive? NO. Shunning is a reality, and it happens to almost all of us who leave.
Even when you know that shunning is crazy--it still hurts.
I tried for years--tried to connect individually, attended the funerals and weddings--but finally gave up. It made me too sad! I became angry at myself for putting myself in a position to be victimized. It was effecting my health and happiness. In the end, I have "no contact", like Cheryl.
I look at it from a new perspective. We apostates need to fail, in order for the cult's religion to be true. Only Mormons should be blessed by God, and not the rest of us. When Mormons see apostates succeed, when they observe that we are happy, and that our children are doing great--that upsets their beliefs. So, my conclusion is that the Mormons WANT us to be unhappy, to be in outer darkness, in order for their cult's promises to be fulfilled. The bottom line is: Anyone who wants us to fail is our ENEMY.
Done & Done had good advice:
What I felt very, very deeply was this. I never wanted to be the one with my nose pressed up against the window looking pathetically in at the party. I never wanted to be the one who was desperate to become part of the in crowd. And especially, I decided that even if I was the one who cared the most, I would never show it.
Don't be a victim. Don't allow your children to be victims. Move on, and let your happiness and love shine for those who deserve you!
BTW--I have a whole other half of my family, on my father's side, who are mostly non-Mormons, and more liberal Mormons, and are interesting, fun people that we love. How about you?