I was dragged through the only true church by my parents, who were dragged by theirs.

There are millions of kids dragged through Scientology, Jehovah's Witness and all the other isms.

Did you come out wiser, stronger and more shrewd? Or did it devaste your ego, and so you detest it, and always will?

I was crushed when I first detected being lied to by actors.

But then, in less than a few decades, I dusted myself off and avoided the many other scams.

Mormonism, to me, served as innoculation, keeping me safe from other sapping, deadly cults.

Yes, I hated the shot and the swelling, the slight fever and pain. But then I became unscamable.

To me, it was worth it.

I think all kids who grew to adult clarity appreciate the blinders during formative years. Not being afflicted with bad habits is a positive, even if at the expense of guilt feelings and silly rituals.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs_gY1K1AMU

How do you see your experiences as you trekked through the Mormon desert-swamp? Glad you survived, or pissed off?

Most babies cry out at birth, but that clears their lungs and fills their capillaries. So, what's the big deal?

Would you rather have had atheists, Muslims or Amish as your first straight-jacket in life?

Perhaps if it had been a shorter trip, I might have some appreciation. But it swallowed up decades that I can never get back.

Mormonism was DEVASTATING to me. Almost brought me to suicide many times. Trusting in "The Brethren" just to discover they were liars. Trusting in Joseph Smith, just to find out he was a thief, liar, womanizer, and WORSE!

Wow! What a nightmare. Had I found a wife in the Church, or become a doctor, or learned another language on my mission, there would be SOME value to the experience. But...none of that. Just like lied to 10,000 times, insulted 10,000 times, brought to tears 10,000 times. WISH I NEVER HEARD OF MORMONISM.

Ditto

Also ditto.

I eventually got out but the scourge is everywhere in my family and I am so sad that it still inflicts my children and their children.

I wish my great grandparents had never heard of Joseph Smith.

I was a convert from a Christian family with a long line of ministers. Christianity in it's basic beliefs was lived but not overdone, in our home.
When I converted, I adjusted to my "adopted tribe" and got with the program, married an RM in the temple, taking in all of the subtle "right" answers.I was young, impressionable, and immersed in the culture while living in BYU Wymount Terrace Housing and giving birth to two kids while in UT. (More came later.)

Suffered? Glad? Well, life is partially about suffering, most of it is common to most of us. I have often said that life is: "The Good, The Bad, the Ugly" some in bigger doses than others.
It's all a learning experience. Stepping stones that contribute to who we are. Nothing, in my view, is a waste. It's all about choices, adapting, learning, etc.

To be absolutely clear: I have no regrets as it's self sabotage
I spend about three minutes on guilt and move on after trying to fix anything I messed up. I find no use for shame either.

Most of my life was good, positive, and productive, and enjoyable. I had the ups and downs filled with angst, confusion, questioning everything, and struggling with raising children with a husband who traveled, along with lay offs and financial problems.

When I look back, I am grateful for all of my life experiences. Most I am proud of, some, well, not so much.
I see my life as mostly average. One human being trying to figure out life and all of the challenges.

I am thrilled that I was able to understand that I could change my mind about my World View. And, that is what I did. I left my earlier World View in Christianity in the home, to the Mormon Way World View and later changed my mind and created my own World View.

I would not, on the whole, change anything about my life. Some experiences I'd like to have skipped, however, looking back, it was all part of the package.

I have spent most of my life, loving my life. I am generally, a happy, upbeat, positive person. That came about early in my life and extended to Mormonism, and after. Those nasty experiences in Mormonism were predominately about dealing with very difficult people. That experience gave me a leg-up, so to speak, when working in the business world. I found that most of what I experienced was common to the human experience. People are a wildly varying combination of good, bad, ugly, nasty, mean, happy, etc. and a little nuts! :-) I have found that we all vacillate between all of those, little by little, some more so than others. Mormonism was The Human Experience in a specific, traditional, cultural, religious tribe, which I left when I realized I did not need it nor did I have any reason to stay in it.

I learned there are worse things to have been dragged through than Mormonism. I had good parents, learned a good work ethic, and got a good education. With that I had the foundation to do what I wanted. Did the discipline of growing up in the Mormon system have something to do with that. Yeah. You can get all obsessed with the negative or you can take whatever positive the church gave you and use that to your advantage and go where you want to go. Believe me, it could have been worse.

Leaving the church is still fresh, and thus so is the memory of my conversion.

Humbling doesn't do justice to the memory. I mean, I CHOSE to be a Mormon. Nobody drugged me, nobody hypnotized me. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

In that regard I'm glad for the experience because I know even now, years after I thought the errors of my callow youth were far in the past, that I'm still perfectly capable of being an idiot.

I met some good people and some shitty ones. Some of the shitty ones I learned valuable lessons from, some where just shitty! The good ones not only taught me valuable life lessons, but helped me when I needed it and got me through hard times. Those few good ones I will only wish the very best for them!!

Considering the adverse impact it had on my life and my children's, I have to say no.

I wish I had never heard of it.

since we have shared some of the same experiences. Thankfully, my dad wasn't your typical mormon and he taught me some logic. He was never too trusting.

My daughter is the only TBM grandchild or great grandchild. It has caused us both a lot of pain. Of all the grandkids, you'd think she'd be one of the ones out, but no, she is as devout as they come.

What it did to my life? Yes, I wish I had never been raised mormon.

I believe that people are born "that way." I am who I am not because of mormonism, but despite mormonism. One of the reasons I'm out of mormonism is because I am NOT like them.

Absolutely. I have learned a great deal about life and people from Mormonism. I drank the Kool Aid, went all the way down the rabbit hole, and bought the T-shirt. "I Survived Mormonism".

Sure, I'll always be a little messed up from it, but I know the beast and someday, if possible, I'll kill the motherfu--er.

I did ok, because I fit the mold of the good mormon girl. It fit my personality, so I enjoyed growing up in it. I think my parents were probably better parents than they would have been without the church. They both grew up in crazy disfunctional homes, and got some guidance from the church.

After over 50 years of believing it all, hook line and sinker, I found out it's all a lie. It devastated me for a very long time. I have finally come out on the other side of the tears and depression, with the help of this board and others, plus some new friends.

So, I have mixed feelings. Life was pretty good in the 70s for me, church was my life. Who knows what my life would have been like without it- better or worse? I'll never know.

Being Mormon helped me break both the alcoholism cycle and highly dysfunctional family cycle I grew up in. For that I am grateful.

I consider myself fortunate that I was LDS long enough to break those cycles, and then my critical skills kicked in, and I got out.

Joining Mormonism was a blessing, as well as leaving it.

No regrets, for either happening...

I was an investigator and had lessons and attended TSCC for only five months. I was baptized, but they screwed it royally (not once, but twice... literally, they "forget" to do it.. hmmm), and I was never confirmed. Thank goodness. After the second screw up, I never went back, and am SO grateful. Even though it was only five months wasted, it still affected me a lot, hence my enthusiasm in joining this wonderful forum. I love the people I have found here, and to know that I'm not alone with my feelings about what I definitely consider to be a cult. JMO, and many thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts, stories and feelings about your experiences. Even though it has been five years since I walked away and never went back, so many things still bother me, especially since Mormonism goes against everything I believe, and was raised to believe. They sure didn't like that my opinions were in complete disagreement with what they wanted me to attest to (and didn't); of course, it didn't help either that I am married to a Jewish man, actually have a career, and wasn't about to tithe them 10% of my measly income. I was shunned even because of my personal license plate, which is the same as my board name. Wow. I REALLY didn't fit in from day one... I used to LOVE asking questions and expressing opinions that they could just not tolerate, much less answer. Used to LOVE seeing the panic in the eyes of 19/20 year old sheltered mishies whenever I spoke up, which was VERY frequently. Walking away was the best thing I ever did... it was only a matter of sooner than later... so glad it was sooner!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2017 12:00PM by cynful.

Surely you jest.

I would not say I was glad. If I had to do it over, then I would not have "suffered through Mormonism." (As Rubicon points out there are much worse things in human experience.)

What I am "glad" for is the perspective that comes from the transition out of Mormonism. I learned that I could recognize that I was fundamentally wrong about something very important and change my perspective. I hope that I can keep that in mind as other situations in life develop.

I also gained a sense from my own experience, and listening to those of others in similar circumstances, that it is possible (not easy) to successfully transform our perspectives, values, and lifestyles at any stage of life.

Since I believe I picked this part Mormon life, I frequently look back and ask 'why'.

I am convinced I had a great childhood, great parents and family, great experiences, etc. etc.

The things I learned, experienced, and enjoyed from my family exceeded any 'grief' from Mormonism.

At least, for future incarnation purposes, I hope I have checked off the 'raised in a cult' square on my progression/experience listing.

Tough call.

I learned, from thinking my way out, a lot about outrageous claims, critical thought, and how humans fall for nonsense.

I also wasted years of my life (mission, etc.), threw away great opportunities, and had a family broken up by mormon nonsense.

I think I could have learned the first part without mormonism -- and didn't need the second part at all.

So...no.

It brought me here to learn from critical thinkers--how to look at evidence and to dispel superstition.

I would say, Yes for those reasons.

I would say, No, because I taught my kids the lies of mormonism before I knew better.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2017 05:21PM by kathleen.

No but we'll see life is not over but it feels like it because of them.

Absolutely not!

For me, it was detrimental to my introvert personality. Stupid church leaders had no trouble pushing me around and abusing their power. Additionally, I hated all the time lost to meetings throughout the week. Despite all that time wasted, I rarely heard "Good Job!". Instead, I would routinely hear that I am not working hard enough...blah..blah..blah.

I never liked saying prayers in public. I would experience panic attacks and say everything wrong. One time, I was so nervous that I immediately closed it (in the name of Jesus Christ) without realizing it. While, I was trying to think of what to say next; the entire deacon's quorum began to laugh. Those asshat leaders in the room never corrected them for being rude if not irreverent. Instead, I became the Sunday evening's dinner joke in most members' homes. In the middle of week, Mom received a call from different sisters with the same concern for young Messy. "Please help him say reverent prayers. He is deliberately mocking prayers in front of other deacons. This is not right." Of course, Mom jumped to the conclusion that I was following my older siblings' rebellious behavior. Afterward Mom was enraged and severely pinched my ears, I had to practice by saying every family meal prayer for two months. Also, I was forced to go early to meet with the YM prez, Brother Blowhard so I could be re-educated how to pray.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/21/2017 08:27AM by messygoop.

I'm not glad I endured mormonism. But I don't have the time or energy to let that fact drag me into a mire of frustrated regret. We can't change the past. It's done. We need to cast off guilt, regret, and frustration as we're able. That leaves space for joy and satisfaction which is a better place.

Yes.

Really happy with how my life had turned out. No regrets.

We all have to cut our teeth on something.

The more the resistance, the stronger the muscle.

I've looked at life from both sides now . . .hey, there's a song in there somewhere!

I have no regrets and I like what I learned from having gone through that. There is understanding that comes from those scars. I am not so sure I would feel that way if I had not gotten out by my early twenties after the mission. My investment was reasonable when the whole life is taken into account.

It sucked up 23 years of my life I will never get back, so yeah I hate the church and everything - EVERYTHING about it. Sometimes I say I don't hate it but I feel like I am fooling myself. I do; mostly because I looked to JS as a martyer like a gullible child. I was told he was such a nice man who lived way-back-when, who had ONE wife - only to find out through personal study that what I have been told since about three or four years old is fraudulent.

When I was 18 (2012) I found out I adored girls and realized I am lesbian as well as asexual (not really sexually attracted to anyone at all).
2012 was when a lot of shit happened - found out I had slight autisim, my father is an addict and was told by my mother she was seperating from him as well. I already had depression, but this drove me BACK to my suicidal thoughts. The "perfect," Mormon family I grew up in was nothing but a front. I went through some shit at age 10-12 as well, but didn't do anything about it since I thought I WAS THE F*CK UP.
What I went through spiritually killed me, and I have been "dead" ever since. My faith in anything is gone really, but I still tried to gain that childlike faith back. I failed upon researching more into the church.

So my lack of sexual advances is kind of gone. Met a nice girl and is my serious partner for now.

I can't really regret it any more than I can wish I were born someone else. Didn't happen, doesn't make sense. Not my choice.

What I can do is realize I would have been far better educated if I had studied something that made even one ounce of sense instead of the Book of Mormon and the blathering gibberish spewed by Mormonism and it's older cousins, Christianity and Judaism.

Math, science, history, literature, almost anything would have been a better use of my time and less of a waste of human effort.

I think my family would have benefited from not being so involved with mormonism

Hell, no.

no

No, I'm not glad at all. The perfectionism and judgment that's rife throughout Mormon culture literally brought me to the brink of suicide in my teens. I felt like I could never be good enough, that I was damned from the start because I never liked church. For a long time I was absolutely terrified that my parents would find out how I really felt about it and kick me out of the house, as had happened to a kid I knew. I was certain at one point that God and Jesus hated me personally and wanted me to fail.

Mormonism is a crazy cult. I don't know how any other religious upbringing might have changed me. But I do know that Mormonism damaged me greatly.

I soooo wish I could have learned English from some people with no religious agenda, instead.

I joined although I thought Joseph Smith, jr, was disgusting, and although I didn't get any warm fluffy feeling when I prayed, after reading the BoM. I joined, because I thought I had nothing to lose. Such naïvety!

The only good thing that has come out of my ever being a member for 3,5 years is that I've been able to tell a lot of people about what Mormonism really is about, and many of them have then decided _not_ to join.

Answer: It devastated my ego, I detest it and always will. I guess, however, I can say that I'm glad I "suffered" through it and came out the other end. Better than still suffering.

I am glad I was afraid of going to Hell if I smoked. Aaaaaand, let's see... Nope. That's all.

No, even though I usually learn a lot from mistakes.

I dont even f#cking know anymore to be honest. I just want my money back at this point.

No, the church ruined me. I made decisions based on doctrine and now I've done things that cannot be changed.