My dear friend a couple years younger than me is 22 and going on a mission. I thought sisters who were 22 were too old to start serving a mission?

Anyhow, the reason? She is 22, unmarried with never being on a date or eternal prospects, has "wasted" 3 years in college, and should have been endowed, sealed and having a kid by now. She thinks the reason why it has not happened is because she isn't being faithful enough. So she applied and got called to serve a mission in South America.

The reason I believe it haven't happened? She lives in a small Morg populated area in Canada where there is literally 7 YSA age adults in her stake. And the next stake boundary starts 7hrs away in another province.

I thought maybe she would be a little smarter. Her family converted to the Morg when she was 13 and still lived in California. No one in her family has ever been a member before. When her mom and sister joined the church, it caused her parents to separate. 2 years later when her mom wanted to be endowed in Oakland, husband said no. Eventually she wanted to be endowed so much, they got a divorce. She said they were a happy family until then.

I feel sorry for her. She should be out having fun, meeting new people, finishing her nursing degree and traveling. Instead she is giving everything up for a church. The church is robbing her of her life and youth! I want to say something to her, but I don't know what or how. Am I crazy for letting this bother me?

Dallin Oaks talked about how many YSA males are leaving. This
leaves an over-abundance of unmarried females. He said that they
just have to accept that they may not get married.

This is proof Mormonism is a cult.

I'm sure there are THOUSANDS of great young men in the area where
your friend lives. However they aren't MORMON. For a Church
that touts marriage and family life as a vaunted ideal, telling
its members, "don't get married if it's not to a Mormon," proves
that the Church is more important that the members' happiness.

That makes it a cult.

When I was young, they also told us women that there weren't enough men and we might not be able to get married. There was no big exodus from the church back then. Today, many young women are also leaving the church. There are lots of YSA "Why I left the Mormon Church" videos on YouTube and I see just as many female faces as male ones.

Your friend may be hoping that she will meet her future husband on her mission. I have known women who found their husbands that way.

You aren't crazy for letting it bother you, but rather for not saying something.

It's pure common sense.

If you want to marry someone of a specific type, you must go live where that specific type is. If you don't, you will be single.

It's as simple as that.

Or as a bishop once told my single homely, socially backward roommate, if you want to marry a moose, go hang out at the watering hole.

It's pure common sense.

If you want to marry someone of a specific type, you must go live where that specific type is. If you don't, you will be single.

It's as simple as that.

Or as a bishop once told my single homely, socially backward roommate, if you want to marry a moose, go hang out at the watering hole.Even then, nothing is guaranteed.

I would have a chat with your friend. It seems like you don't have much to loose. She has a lot to loose on her current path. I think you're right that she should be finishing school. Once you leave, it's extremely difficult to get back on track. Sometimes impossible, She's making bad decisions based on a man that she doesn't even know if he exists. She's also creating a ton of drama that nobody needs. She should stay on track and then go find a man if that's what she really wants.

When we see friends making obviously bad decisions that could affect their life, I think we should say something if it makes them happy or not. I'd venture to say the likelihood of her finding a mate in SA is probably slim to none. She's more likely to meet a better quality man working as a nurse. She could even go to Utah to be a nurse. Anything but stop living to fuck up your life for the corporation.

My wife married a Moose.

If you talk to your friend about it, you might ask her what her primary goal is. If it's to marry and raise a family, it might be in her best interest to finish up her nursing degree. Then she could move to a city where her chances of meeting a priesthood holder would be improved. It's also possible that she could meet a man on her mission. But I would focus on trying to get her to hone on what *she* wants and how best to meet those wants.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2017 01:51AM by summer.

Unfortunately, she must make up her own mind. If she's determined to go on a mission, all we can do is hope it will open her mind. Sometimes missionaries see through mormonism when they're immersed in it and are away from home.

It's sad that she's interrupting her college when the end is in sight, but she can always complete it later.

It sounds like you may be christian and your friend obviously is. So if that's true then you could start with some common ground. Start with some Pauline advice, 1st Corinthians 7. And tell her it's good not to marry but for most people its better to marry. And he who forbids marriage is not of God. And remind her that if a christian is married to a non christian, Paul says to stay married, and don't divorce (if they are respectful).

It sounds like your friend is very young and naive, going on a mission and being super loyal to a religion doesn't improve ones marriage prospects. At 22 the only thing that matters is how she looks, she doesn't need a nursing degree to get a boyfriend in fact most young men don't like smart girls (the boys want to be the smart ones). She needs to be dolling herself up, slim down and show some skin and get a tan. If "marriage" is what she wants.

Hey poopstone, do you have a contest with yourself to see how much more offensive your posts can be to the gay community, or women, or other communities you like to offend with your ignorance and slavish Devotion to conservative ideals? Cuz I don't see how you could say the kind of misogynistic nonsense that you just did without that being your actual goal. You suggest that this woman should pretend to be dumb, 'slim down, get a tan and doll herself up?' Your advice for women reads like an offensive fifties era advertising slogan for women, and about as useful and pertinent. I feel sorry for any women you ever interact with.

You're an ass and a joke and your issues with women are transparent. GO AWAY.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2017 05:36AM by midwestanon.

years and years ago. All my friends were getting married. Some were even rude about the fact that I wasn't married yet. What was wrong with me? I kept trying to figure out what it was I was doing wrong or wasn't doing that was keeping God from blessing me with my one and only. I had been taught that it was God who brought your future mate into your life and my PB told me so. Very seldom dated. Somehow ended up waiting for a missionary because we were great friends and all of a sudden he decided he loved me. (I'm the fool who talked him into going on a mission. In the end, he deserved it.)

I had a nonmormon I worked with tell me he wanted to take me out for months. I finally said I'd go. Fell head over heels that night. BUT, of course, I couldn't marry him. I tended to believe that he'd never believe, although he told me he would join. I also had such low self-esteem at that time that I couldn't believe he wanted me. After he moved away to get away from me, I dated more nonmormons, 2 more of whom wanted to marry me. I just saw it as God testing me. If I just held out, God would bring me my one and only.

My one and only happened to end up being gay. This was my destiny, my challenge in life to save someone gay (or so they told me).

I'm back with that first nonmormon I dated at age 20.

Most of the mormon guys I worked with thought I should have married him at 20.

Some of the mormon guys I worked with asked me what was wrong with me since I wasn't married off yet.

I found out later how envious other friends of mine were that I had a nice car, nice apartment, traveled, had nice clothes, but they never tell you that when you are single. They constantly point out to you that there must be something wrong with you.

She's been taught that this is her problem. I have a neighbor (last bishop's daughter) who went on a mission for this reason. She has been home I think 2-1/2 years now. No prospects. She has gained A LOT of weight and my daughter says she doesn't take care of herself very well any longer. My daughter is also not married at age 31, though bailed on a marriage a few years back. She is tall and blonde and beautiful. Has a great job. Travels the world. Has an education. She never did serve a mission, though she contemplated it. I never served one either.

In fact, the bishop told me I had a great job (back in the late 1970s) and he only asked girls to serve missions who didn't seem to have their act together. One of my friends he told she should serve a mission because it might help her deal with her guilt over having sex with at least 10 guys. She watched TV and went to movies on her mission to Hawaii. Now she is TBM while cheating on her husband.

Mormonism isn't like it used to be. It's a lot harder for Mormons to stay married to each other because one of them will eventually find out that their church was all made up by a lying horn dog who didn't want to make an honest living. Many a marriage has ended this way.

In the "olden dayz," we had male missionaries who were as old as 26, 27 because of Vietnam and compulsory service, and so on. None of the female missionaries was under 25, and most had gone only because the bishop suggested it as a way of meeting guys. So practically all the females in our mission had graduate degrees, and among them were a couple of RN's.

It was bad enough then, with the shaming of the older girls, but now... Look, my wife wanted to marry anyone but me. I was the one who wanted her, and I was the one who asked her a few times. She only married me after she found herself in a 5th extra year at BYU, and two other marriage engagements had failed. The goofiest part of this story? She was only 22. At 22 she felt she was a failure for not being married, so plodded along with her degree so that she could stay a 5th year and increase her chances. In a way, she was right--all her friends and roommates had married and moved on. She was the hold-out, forces to marry the annoying guy with few prospects.

(EPILOGUE: Guy with few prospects actually did okay in the end, despite some false starts.)

I have a relative that married just because she didn't want to leave BYU without being married, too. She had told us about this guy who kept bugging her who she just hated. She kept telling him no for 3 years. Well her senior year guess who she started dating? And she was still saying she didn't especially like him. I guess she got desperate.

They're now divorced. She had an affair 6 or 7 years into their marriage. Guess she discovered the grass really was greener on the other side.