I was in the kitchen this morning making breakfast when my wife turns on the TV. I hear this god awful noise that can only be described as fake Mormon Conference talk accent. It is the worst accent.

I realize the speakers spend hours practicing to be as montone and boring as possible. I wonder which super inspired GA decided the Mormon God preferred such a horrible sound.

Was there any conferring?

It's called "General Conference".

I would expect some conferring.

No? No conferring? Not even generally?

Bullshit.

They're hypnotized under their own spell.

Black magic?

That's why I couldn't ever watch Conference again, even if I had a desire to. I'm allergic to that voice now. If I hear it for more than a minute, I just have to click it right back off again. It creeps me right out.

They should trademark that "GC drone". Kind of like Harley Davidson trademarked the sound of its motorcycles.

Years ago I was surfing channels and came across a closeup of a
seed sprouting underground. Ah, nature documentary, I thought.
But something was wrong. The voice-over had that Mormon
sing-song "conference" voice. Even though he was talking only
about the process of the seed sprouting I knew this wasn't a
nature show but some Mormon thing. Sure enough, it cut back to
the BYU devotional speaker who made the analogy between the
sprouting seed and some gospel topic.

General Conference Accent is white noise.

My TBM brother emailed this morning that he chooses to listen to GC to find Truth.

If I took his bait, I'd likely be able to find Sleep.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh ya. The GA Drone! It's cultivated by generations of Conference Speak. It does miss a few of the newbees!

Ha ha!!!! I agree. My TBM sister talks like that all the time. It kills me.

A former mission associate is now a 1stQ70. I told him I had always thought he was a dead lock on becoming a GA, since he has good hair, like the Dieter Dude. He laughed. I then asked if he had completed his training in "GA Drone". He did not laugh.

It's that "now gather around children" voice. You know they're trying to convey the idea that there's nothing remotely grown male about the men and there's nothing remotely grown women about the women.

It's cardigan sweater land with slippers and a fireplace. And everyone hopes you won't notice they're not talking about anything in particular.

I get an actual visceral response when I hear it, and I have to turn it off. It's awful. Listen to Warren Jeffs on youtube...sounds exactly the same way. I cannot believe that I didn't see through the pretentious BS that is Mormonism about 20 years ago. When your raised in it and brainwashed...I guess it's ingrained, but now it seems so cult like.

To me there is nothing more repuganant than the Seventy Drone. Its so clearly phony and passed along like a bad virus to other hosts. I just hated it when members of the ward would use it during testiphony meeing.

HH =)

They are a strange group the more you learn the stranger it gets