I've been away from the board for a long time. (Long story) But I still remember JackMormon'sWife Seems like she updated her name, but she was so interesting and such a good writer I've often wondered since if she ever published her stories. I didn't hear how things came out with her adopted daughter from Russia who had so many problems. Seems like things were really falling apart for the whole family.

Hope she is doing better. Please give me an update on her.

Yep. She is Shannon and posted just a couple of days ago.

Right here! Wow...I have a fan!!! woot!

I don't post often but I lurk here every day. My Russian daughter, Sasha, finally grew up after a few rough years. I just got back from coloring Easter eggs with her, her husband, and their new baby girl.

Sasha spent some time battling substance abuse, but I'm happy to report she is clean and sober and an absolute delight to be around these days (we had to remove her from the home when she was a teen because she was a significant danger to herself and the smaller children). Luckily, she found her way back to us as a young adult.

More significant than Sasha's drug use, though, was JackMo's cocaine habit that utterly decimated our family a few years ago. He lost his license to practice in the medical field, lost his job, and spent an entire year in the hospital with severe health problems stemming from the Cocaine use. I lost my home, cars, all of my retirement benefits, life insurance, health insurance, even our smart phones. I went through foreclosure, bankruptcy, and divorce. (And, if you remember OldTimer, this is a man who is related to Boyd K. Packer....rolls eyes).

I'm OK today, though. It's taken a couple of years to rebuild. My youngest son and I have a cute beach apartment now. We spend lots of time with neighborhood friends and family. My parents live just down the beach, and all of my adult children and grandkids live nearby.

My grown kids are a mixed bag. One son serves as an honor guard soldier in Arlington National Cemetery and is an official "Escort to the President." On the opposite end of the spectrum is another adult child who has struggled with severe mental illness for a year and a half....I'm out of strength and ideas to help this one. The other kids basically have it together, are good parents, work hard and contribute to the world.

My whole two-decade experience with Mormonism (I was a convert) has left me scarred. The pain doesn't ever really go away. Temple marriage is a crock - we married fast and stupid. In retrospect, I realize we didn't have anything but religion in common. Siiiiiigh.

I try hard not to hate JackMo. He DESTROYED my children's lives. Just one small example: He blew through a $100K inheritance from his father earmarked for college tuition/expenses for our two biological children. Wanna know how fast he spent that money????? 90 days. Boom. Cruise, cross-country vacation for all seven of us, new car, huge flat-screen TV, clothes, jewelry and on and on. My kids have had to learn alternate ways to pay for college expenses. But luckily, they are all resilient and, for the most part, have come out on top.

JackMo has alienated his entire family and all of his kids. Even his own mother has cut him out of her will. He's facing MAJOR surgery soon (piggy-back complications from his year-long hospitalization). Can anyone say...KARMA?

Dunno.

This is not a funny post OldTimer. I'm sorry. Most of what I post on RfM is silly. Tonight's not so funny for me. I just spent the day with my parent's and kids. We talked about my ex. And it was sad and exhausting. All that old Mormon trauma is flashing in my brain again. Like I said, I don't think it ever really goes away. Hope you and yours are OK.

Shannon (JackMormon'sWife)

;o)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/09/2017 12:05AM by shannon.

laughed with you, cried with you, and sent you any number of cyber-hugs.

You are one very special person - don't ever forget that. You are a survivor (aren't we all??) and one VERY TOUGH COOKIE.

A few thoughts:

I had major financial reversals with three kids in college and one in a private Baptist school. Everybody learned to get serious, work hard, and take nothing for granted. One son is studying for the ministry, and this turn of events forced him to drop out and work for a couple of years, which turned out to be a valuable and maturing experience for him. I hope your kids found the blessings in negative events--however dubious and painful they seemed at the time.

Regarding your child dealing with MH issues, get hold of a self-help book, "Positive Addiction" by William Glasser, MD (1976). Probably in your library. Poke through it, and see if it might have something to offer your kid.

Congratulations on your improved circumstances and especially on your positive attitude!

We can go along for a while and then something comes back like a ball bat to the face. When my daughter went through the temple the first time the 28th of February and something my extreme TBM aunt did put me back seeing my therapist (and other things going on).

But as far as I've come, there are days it all just overwhelms me, and then I put it back together and go on somehow.

Mormonism nearly destroyed some of us, but we are survivors.

Yes we are survivors, cl2!

;o)

I second what you and cl2 have stated. We never really get over the damage that mormonism did to us. I will be doing fine one day and then BOOM, something hits me and I'm a mess.

The upcoming memorial day trip to decorate the graves of my extended family is weighing on my mind as I will linger at the grave of my ex husband. So much of my life was made so complicated by his life and the mormon religion that ruined it.

So glad you're still here!

It's so good to hear that your Russian daughter is doing well. But I'm so sorry you've had such terrible things happen since I was here many years ago. It's wonderful that you survived and are able to talk about it with such maturity.

I remember now that you changed to Shannon about the time I left. I recently ran across one of your entries that was so well written that I just had to keep a copy of it in my document files. It was mostly about your trip to Utah for Mother's Day and how awful your inlaws treated you. You wrote with such humor that I was giggling and sympathizing at the same time. If you haven't already done so, You really ought to submit the story of your Russian daughters for publication. I remember how strikingly tragic the situation was and how eloquently it was written. I'm sure you realize of course, that chapter in your mormon experience was truly a gift for that child, I'm sure that must help take out some of the super hell out that mormon time of your life.

As an aside: I live next door to one of your close relatives. I have no idea exactly how you are related, just that the wife is very closely related to Packer. I don't live in the SL area, and that's all the clue I dare give. They are very nice to us since we are the dreaded "have to be nice to" inactives. (We consider ourselves exmo, but never bothered to resign.) As neighbors, they are quite inconsiderate, but seem quite naive about it. I actually enjoy their very sweet, polite children. I wish I knew how you are related to them, but I don't want to "spill the beans."

I guess I'm going to have to check in more often now. I hope things keep working out for you, Shannon. And I do hope you will get published, if you haven't already.

It's fun to 'shout out' to all the other 'old timers' still here, and the newbies too.

Good wishes to all of you, and keep up the good (bad church reviews) missionary work.

Old Timer (previously Grandma2)