Because of the recent news regarding the sentence of a bishop who was a child molester, I am wondering if anyone has drafted a letter to bishops stating that a parent does not allow the personal, sexual related questions during an interview, neither your underage child to be interviewed alone. Has anyone created a similar letter or knows of a format that I can follow?
Note: Daughter is active member and lives with ex.

In your situation, that's what I'd do.

The letter can be as simple or explicit as you think best.

Dear Mr. Bishop-man,

This letter is to inform you that you are not to conduct interviews with my daughter unless I or her mother are sitting in the same room with her as her support. There have been a number of incidences where minors were mistreated or were asked inappropriate questions.

I'm not of your faith and I think you'd feel the same if your child attended a church you didn't believe in and you did not have personal interaction with the pastor.

Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely, Mr. Anonymous



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2017 03:54PM by Cheryl.

I'm not a parent, but why not have a talk with your daughter and tell her that if she has any question regarding sex, she comes to you first and second, at no point is she allowed to have a conversation regarding sex with the bishop or any priesthood holder without parental consent and presence.

Having a conversation regarding matters on sex is something she should hear from you foremost.

But every child needs an adult backing them up in the same room with any authority figure who interviews them. A child can't be expected to to stand up to an adult on their own. It's isn't a fair balance of power. If they can't handle it, the guilt and pain would be difficult to handle.

Kids are also taught to obey the priesthood at all costs so a lot of mormon kids are pre-programmed to allow the bishop's authority to override their parents' authority.

A poster on this board did this a couple of years ago. I don't recall his name, so I can't search for the post. Hopefully, he will see this thread.

Many of us have done this and it is a great idea. However, in my experience with Mormons who are placed in a position of authority, the request needs to come from or with authority. This means.

The letter and subsequent request to not interview without the parent needs to go to and come from the SP, Area Seventy, Seventy, Apostle, First Presidency, or President of their church.

Or, and this is much easier, the letter needs to be accompanied by an appropriately phrased promise of legal and possibly physical intervention if the request is ignored.



The last guy that I did this with received a soft voiced rhetorical question. "Since you know I don't want you alone with my children I can guess that you can imagine that if you were alone with them, I would assume the worst. Right?"

Another guy needed a little more encouragement. "You're not a pedophile, right? Why would you want to be alone with my kids?"


The point is these guys ignore letters and requests that are not accompanied by some sort of authority.

Good luck.

My ex husband did this when our son was turning 16. I never saw the letter but let the bishop know that I completely supported my ex's action. It really shook up the bishop. He said that asking those personal questions wasn't his interview style and I came back with "how would we know that since we aren't there?"

Anway, when son got back from that yearly interview he told me it was weird. He said the bishop didn't ask him ANYTHING! (Son did not know about the letter and is still TBM to this day). I think that bishop was afraid we were going to sue him or something.

Send a letter to the bigshit and tell him under no circumstance is he allowed to talk to your minor children alone. Tell him it is at the advice of your attorney. At the bottom, cc an attorney's name, preferably a well-known attorney in your area. Doesn't matter whether you actually use the attorney. Name dropping. Send your letter via certified mail. Better yet, send the letter that requires him to sign for it.

Problem solved...Gawd, I struggle so hard not to hate tscc. Brings me down to hate, but damnit!!!....

It would seem reasonable for the LDS Church to change it's policy on the questions they can ask young children (male and female 12 on up)as a matter of protection and good sense.
Apparently they don't think it's that important to protect children which I find disgusting.

I'm all for every parent laying down the law to the local bishops that under no circumstances will he be allowed to question your minor children unless one or both parents are in attendance.
Then it behooves the parents to make sure the minor children know it is not acceptable and you want to know if the bishop tries to sneak you into some meeting without your presents. This is a two fold position. The minor children must be taught that it is never acceptable to be questioned by an adult without their parent (or an attorney) present.

I still remember my interview for the AP when I turned 12 (48 years ago). Well, I remember one question from that interview, and only one. He asked me if I had a problem with masturbation. Masturbation? Hell no I didn't have a problem with it. But well, bishop, what exactly is masturbation?

I didn't know what it was then and had never even attempted it. But, afterwards it became a big, well, I wouldn't say problem.