These are some of my observations, from my own experiences and others.

As a general rule, (if there is one!), I am a proponent of the "love-bombing" in reverse approach in as much as we, as former Mormons are kind, and show acceptance of our friends and loved ones who have a different belief about religion than we do. Just because I left the religion, doesn't mean I left them.

It is not always easy to do, new boundaries may need to be put in place, but in the long run, I am convinced it's the approach that works to keep relationships rather than loose them. If that is your goal, that is. It just happens to be mine. It is not always successful. Not everyone agrees, of course. Sometimes distance is needed , and separating ties is the best thing to do.

There are so many things promised to Mormons to scare them into staying: calamities and horrors that will befall them, failures, etc, if they leave, it's most likely a shock to find out, by experience with former Mormons, that none of them come true. It's all empty threats.

When they interact with former Mormons who are happy, positive, upbeat, folks, with their family intact, kids doing well, etc. progressing in careers, and on and on. who treat them with love, it dispels the notion that life is going to be horrible and they must stay in the LDS Church to survive. Generally, people like to associate with others who are kind and decent and accepting. A smile gets a smile back. It's amazing how powerful that is! Nobody likes rejection. or to be left out.

I know from observation and experience, that if they interact with former Mormons who are clearly angry, bombastic, vulgar etc., it reinforces their claims that leaving will turn them into some kind of hate filled monster in the clutches of Satan and his minions, just as promised! And do the Mormons love that! They take that as some kind of spiritual witness that leaving the LDS Church is not an option. They would never do that!

There are so many different approaches to leaving the LDS Church and our "tribe" as I often refer to it. Taking our power back will most often have some nasty repercussions. First of all, Mormons generally do not like it.

They often resort to invasive questioning, and bullying and threats of eternal damnation. They very often take it personally, whether they know you or not. They often make our decisions about "how could you do this to me." completely oblivious that it is not about them at all.

In the midst of that kind of onslaught against us, it's difficult not to respond in kind, to stay calm and not take it personally, to own our power and not give others power over us. I didn't like it in the LDS Church, when the authoritative, controlling, invasive, ecclesiastical leaders took my power away, often in a threatening, bullying manner. I was not going to participate in that kind of behavior myself.

I can't do that kind of approach all the time, but the more I practice, the easier it gets. It takes the steam out of their fury and they are left with no one to attack or argue with.

Then, it's easy to change the subject, downplay the attack, and find common ground, often using humor to soften the situation. Humor is most often, in my experience, the best way to handle so many situations. Want to make a friend? Get them to laugh with you. I want friends, not enemies.

I take this approach because I want to escape from the hold bitterness, anger, revenge, etc. have on me and how it destroys my ability to have peace of mind. It is not something I like to engage in as it has proven, through experience, to work against me, and I do not like that at all.

Life is too short, in my view to loose friendships and relationships. I am certainly not going to loose a long marriage to a believer, who is a wonderful person, (I chose well), over a difference of opinion of religious views. We are long retired and I want to enjoy these years!

This is part of how I have come to make peace with my life as a Mormon, over the past few years, to continue to find the good in others, and appreciate them.

Every human being is like a little encyclopedia of experiences and information. They have something that I can learn from them. Sometimes I need to learn to stay away! :-)

My tombstone will say something like: she laughed her self to death!

This is part of how I have evolved through the very personal Exit Process from Mormonism -- aka " Recovery."

I have learned from others, found solace in the peace of mind and freedom that has come from changing my world view and how I get through each day, putting one foot in front of the other, taking experiences of life and learning from them.

I am particularly appreciative of this board and the support and love and kindness I have received over the years.