The power just went out in my area, affecting 561 homes. I know this not because of any hometeacher contact, but because I called the power company and politely asked what the hell's going on. A faceless female voice at the other end of the line told me it was a tripped breaker at a substation and that the wait would be approximately two hours for full restoration–-not of the gospel of Jesus Christ--but of my electricity.

I proceeded carefully through the hellish darkness out to the kitchen and got a plastic cup of tapioca pudding out of the black-as-night bowels of my refrigerator and cautiously headed back to bed, where I ate it in the low glow of my cell phone (backed up, as it is, by a small portable power pack).

About 30 minutes later, the power came back on, courtesy of the Utility Department Goddess.

During the outage, I had no Mormon food storage on hand, nor did I need or want any Mormon food storage on hand--mainly because I cannot stand decades-old cracked wheat in vacuum-sealed cans that have "GUILT TRIP" written all over them, along with "YOU WERE JUST LUCKY THIS TIME, YOU GARMENTLESS BLABBERMOUUTH TOOL OF THE DEVIZL!!!"

As I'm reporting this, the power has now gone off again. I may be soon forced to return in the dead and dread of the dark of night to the unilluminated cave of my Cain-cursed kitchen to poke around for some milk and Cheerios--or maybe a bottle of "Granny Smith's Woodchuck Hard Cider."

No, wait! The power just came back on–-and I wasn't even praying for it. Plus, my cell phone is now completely up and running with real power from the Colorado River grid, not from the phony-Morony priesthood cockadoodle do-nothing doo-doo.

The Mormon Church can take its food storage and put it where the light don't shine.

Oh, and as I was finishing writing this, I got an automated phone call from the Department of the Utility Goddess, informing me that they were working on restoration of full power and asking me to "press 1" if I had received it. I did not bow my head but I did press 1 for "yes." Now is the great day of my power.

Pass the Cheerios and cider.



Edited 11 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2017 10:42AM by steve benson.

My feelings, too.

In any natural disaster that people actually deal with (fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane), a few days worth of drinking water and whatever food is in the kitchen is sufficient to get you through the disruption.

In natural disasters, people may die of exposure, or injuries, perhaps disease, rarely, dehydration. Nobody starves to death except in war zones and droughts in already failing nations.

But now those LDS food supply outfits hate your guts. May you rot in hell with all that stale Mormon wheat.



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2017 10:33AM by steve benson.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> In natural disasters, people may die of exposure,
> or injuries, perhaps disease, rarely, dehydration.
> Nobody starves to death except in war zones and
> droughts in already failing nations.

But according to Mormonism the US will be a failed nation. That's the prophecy anyway.

So then you'll need your weevil infested wheat to survive. ;o)

I am a nevermo, and do not understand why the food storage always seemed to include wheat that was not yet made into flour. It seems from what many had written that it goes bad after a while. I know flour does too, but what is the rationale for the wheat? Just curious.

TSCC made a huge profit off of wheat grinders.

whole wheat flour goes rancid fairly quickly. The wheat germ oil oxidizes. White flour lasts longer, but it doesn't have a really long shelf life.

I think the wheat storage thing is part practical, part psychological. Raw wheat is cheap. If properly stored in a sturdy air-tight container with the oxygen driven out with CO2 (put some dry ice in container), it will keep for decades. Of course, if you really do that well, it is no longer very cheap, so it is often stored in flimsier containers or with regular air in the container, which allows oxidation, and allows insects to survive should they manage to get into or already be in the wheat.

The psychological benefits of wheat: Mormons are totally ga-ga over their pioneer heritage. Days of '47 is the biggest annual parade in Utah, and an official state holiday. Baking home-ground whole wheat bread feels very pioneery. It's enough to make them break out in a couple choruses of Come Come Ye Saints.

In fact, simply owning the wheat and the grinder is enough to make TBMs feel like they are honoring their pioneer ancestors.

Some Mormons are also borderline health food fetishists, and think that whole wheat bread ground at home proves they are better people than the lazy people eating store bought bread. Fresh ground whole wheat bread is better for you, but I doubt all that many Mo families actually consistently make it. So much work! My mom went through brief phases, but they died out fairly quickly.

Food storage goes back a century or more.

They never updated the guidelines.

This is as entertaining as one of uour cartoons! Very much like a Dave Berry of RfM :)

We had it out for most of a Sunday some years ago. I was out of the lds church then anyway so went out to get something, but then I would have as a mormon, too. What do you fix for dinner when the stove and oven don't work?

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you fix for dinner when the
> stove and oven don't work?

Barbecue.
I keep briquets on hand, and my wood-burning smoker doesn't even require those.

It's our "go-to" when the power goes out :)

We live in Southern California, the land of earthquakes.

So, we bought devices that one can plug into any outlet, and will automatically collect and store enough energy to light themselves up, should the regular lights go out.

We also keep hand-held flashlights in strategic places, and the same goes for candles in their own holding device (which one should avoid using, as these can be tipped over and start a fire).

Going even further (being in an earthquake area), my husband attached bookcases, etc., to the wall, and stretched a thick wire across the front of each shelf, which will keep the books in their place (instead of being tripping devices in a dark house. (Once, one of our bookcases--in our hall--fell forward, but was stopped when it hit the opposing wall.)

As for food, we do have a tall cupboard (with doors) in which we store some canned food items, and bottled water. More water is stored in the garage.

And, we don't put heavy things against the walls near our beds. (Don't want to get knocked on the noggin by falling items.)

Well, YES, we did undergo a few earthquakes so far, but the only damage we suffered was one catsup bottle which fell off a shelf and onto the floor (and, happily, didn't break).

Our neighbors didn't do as well, as was shown outside by downed brick retaining walls around yards, and what neighbors shared with each other about inside damage.

In the last big quake, the way to one's work place was hindered by torn-up roads, and some road damages in our neighborhood. (However, it appears that our street was situated in a relatively safe strip of territory.)

At any rate, earthquakes don't seem to deter people from the mid-West and East from pouring into California.

Steve, you are invited to drive your putty-put to our house, from Arizona to California, if you feel a catastrophe coming. (And we will hope our neighbors won't have raided what food and water supplies we have stored, so we won't brag about this to any of our neighbors).

Superior

I grew up in SoCal. One night, when I was maybe four or five years old, I was awakened by my bed shaking. I was absolutely certain that there was a monster underneath my bed, shaking it. I didn't dare get out of bed for fear the monster would get me.

I started screaming for my father, whom I trusted in all matters.

He called back to me, "Go back to sleep, honey - it's only an earthquake."

Oh. That was OK, then. No monsters.

I think the idea of a 1-year-supply is bunk an impractical, but it doesn't hurt to have 3 days to a week's worth of food, water, and necessaries, even in the modern world. Anyone remember or was part of this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northeast_blackout_of_2003

I'm embarrassed to say, my (former)TBM wife had 100 LBS of wheat stored strategical in garage. Added to the shame is that we actually took it with us when we moved out of state. The wheat and marriage eventually spoiled and we through both away.

I have been out of the church for about 20 years. About 3 months ago, while cleaning out a dark corner of my basement, I found a can of wheat. I don't know how old it was but rather than throwing it away and because I live in a rural area I thought I would scatter it on the ground and let animals eat the grain. We have magpies, rabbits, deer, ravens, weasels, mice, ants, etc. It has sat there, scattered on the ground, for three months and not one grain has gone missing (I counted). Thank God (fictional character with beard) I never tried to eat the stuff. It probably would have killed me.

A couple of years ago, we lost power for 50 hours.
I had plenty of wheat (and dried beans, and powdered milk, et cetera) in my basement "food storage room", but no foods which could be eaten without cooking, and very little cash on hand (mainly because I'd bought all that wheat and dried beans and powdered milk, et cetera).

I realized the ridiculousness of "church counsel" at that moment....it was the beginning of the end of my church attendance.

No candles? No flashlights? No 'back-up' energy light plugged into a socket?

In my earthquake-prone area, I know at least enough to keep these in hand.

And, a hand-controlled can opener (besides an electric), for a little--not a lot--of back-up-canned-food, and besides these a couple of jugs of bleach bottles filled with water, and just plain containers of water, one-meal size, that come in a pack, and can be bought in most stores--S&F for me).
----

In my last experienced earthquake, just a bottle of catsup fell off a shelf (it didn't break), and a large bookcase in a hallway fell forward, to lean against the wall. Being used to such things, my husband had hung a strong wire across the books, to keep them in tact (which worked).

Posted by: moehoward: I'm embarrassed to say, my (former)TBM wife had 100 LBS of wheat stored strategical in garage. Added to the shame is that we actually took it with us when we moved out of state. The wheat and marriage eventually spoiled and we through both away.
---

P: We had cans and plastic containers in the garage, and our own wheat grinder. But another problem comes to mind: Those who are not used to eating WW, will find that they will spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, as it acts as a roter-rooter inside the intestines.

So, I always mixed my WW with half white flour.

A year or so ago, I gave the whole outfit to my daughter (but haven't checked with her reg. using it).

Why is it no one ever has a years supply of tequila? Btw, agave juice is supposed to run out in a year or two, thus ending margaritas.

Forget stupid Mormon food storage.

You are better off with a hand cranked radio, generator, water, flashlights, and MREs...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005I5ML36/ref=asc_df_B005I5ML365407866

Whole wheat berries--a cruel and painful death for someone with Celiac disease.

We bought our SLC house "as is" and in the garage were 9 enormous metal containers of whole wheat. When men opened one, and saw it was full of weevils, they screamed like girls! How to dispose of all of this? Each container weighed too much for us to lift, and we didn't have a truck. My ex-Mormon husband and brother-in-law dragged them to the curb, badly scratching the concrete, and attached a poster that said, "Free wheat. Help yourself." He said that some Mormons came by in a truck at took all of the containers. He said they appeared to be boy scouts, or something. My husband enjoyed that.

As a TBM, I smugly thought I was ready for the "big one", too, until I realized that my wheat grinder was electric, and bread had to be cooked. Why wasn't that in the RS lesson, the day they were selling the wheat?

When an older family member died, I inherited several big barrels of wheat and weevils. It would take a very extended power failure before even a TBM would want that stuff. Fortunately, my neighbor had a duck pond. Those ducks loved that wheat - weevils and all.

We of the uber supercalifragilistic mighty Mel cheesy dick priesthood used to have an oh so secret clandestine meeting...no one was sposed to know not even your wife ...not even allowed a canoodle the week previous...oooo you might say...in our super secret prayer circle after the true order we prayed for the down fall of govt and revenge for he blood of the profits... yadda...someone must have waxed the dolphin as it seemed of no effect...thank goodness...could have been me...never confess...nothing better than forbidden fornicating...good thing I spared you all from the apocalypse or you'd be wishing you had some $&@&& wheat to eat....haha bedbug would love that shiz

I had 12 large 100 lb cans of wheat stored in my basement for 6-7 yrs and none of it had weevils in it when we gave it to someone who fed it to his show pigeons. I wonder how long it takes for wheat to get weevils in it? We didn't even treat the wheat in any way to prevent them.

This is also a more humid part of the country, so I'm surprised it didn't have weevils in it.

This is tornado country and, having been hit by a tornado once, we were without electricity (and a few windows) for several days.

It's a good plan, folks, to have at least a week's supply of food on hand, and also have some way to provide light inside your boarded-up house.

It's very difficult to drive anywhere to get supplies after being hit by a tornado, because there are nails and debris all over the roads, along with live downed power lines for while.

Back when Mormonism was mostly an agrarian society, food storage was about surviving crop failures.

Then, during the Great Depression, it was about surviving economic collapse.

Then, during the Cold War, it was about surviving nuclear destruction.

Religion exploits anxiety and fear.

But if food storage was really about surviving hard times, disasters and war, then it would also be about stockpiling fuel and building supplies and cleaning products and toilet paper and all the other essentials of daily life. If the prophets were really inspired, they'd know that. But they're actually myopic old men thinking up bullshit to keep the followers busy and distracted.

Smithsonian channel is running its annual " What if Yellowstone erupts" series. Some news outlet panicked because of eartquake, etc, etc plume of magma, we're all going to die. 3-5 years without crops.

Science is more scary than religion. It proposes what ifs all the time and some program in man's brain screams what is. Joseph Smith grew up in the time when the year without a summer happened. All of them did. Must have gotten pretty humgry; all of western europe starved. I guess those who had extra sold it for tremendous profit.